- Wow…..LeBron James heard the criticisms, and he answered back with his play in leading the Cleveland Cavaliers to a crucial 109-107 2 OT win against Detroit in one of the most impressive individual performances I’ve seen from an athlete in a long, long, long time. With 48 points, nine rebounds and seven assists, James catapulted his Cavs to a 3-2 series lead and put them on the brink of the franchise’s first ever NBA Finals appearance. However, I can't say I regret any past criticisms of James in terms of coasting too often, trying to play it cool instead of going balls to the wall and putting his game into high gear night in, night out, nor should anyone else who made those same criticisms regret their words. A game like this proves that LBJ has had the talent all along, and that not putting together this kind of effort before only shows that he doesn’t make the effort to do so. Everyone who ripped him for not being the take-over-the-game superstar he can be was right, and it makes you wonder why it took so long for James to get the message. He has the talent to be one of the true all-time greats in NBA history, but if his focus is on being the so-called “global icon” that he aspires to be, he’s not going to reach that elite level that guys like Magic, Bird, Jordan, Russell and Chamberlain did. After watching that performance last night, I and any other basketball fan on the planet have the right to be legitimately pissed at James if he doesn’t choose to be that iconic player, because if he doesn’t become that guy, he’s cheating us out of one of the rare, awesome moments that make being a sports fan such a great thing.
- NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell isn't just bringing the hammer down on the felons and miscreants in the league, he’s also looking to establish preventative measures that will also keep those associated with the NFL out of trouble. Goodell has put an alcohol ban in place for the entire league, which means NFL clubs may no longer serve alcohol at team functions or on buses or flights, extending a ban that until now applied only in locker rooms. Also, the new rule pertains not only to players but also to owners, coaches and guests. “I believe that no constructive purpose is served by clubs continuing to make alcoholic beverages available, and that doing so imposes significant and unnecessary risks to the league, its players and others,” Goodell wrote in a letter to all 32 teams. This is going to be upsetting to players especially, because I’m going to assume that since so many of them get picked up for DUI’s, frequent bars and strip clubs and seem to booze it up at every opportunity, a majority of NFL players like alcohol. Not having free booze provided by the team will upset these guys…….well, until the realize that they’re millionaires and can buy their own alcohol to take with them on the team bus or plane. But it’s still a good sentiment, because Goodell has the testicular fortitude to do what MLB commish Bud Selig refused to do even after one of MLB’s players, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock, was killed in a drunken driving incident last month. Selig wasn’t willing to put an alcohol ban in place for his league, but clearly Goodell has no such trouble asserting himself.
- Border patrol agents at the U.S.-Mexico border aren't just having a tough time keeping illegal immigrants out, they’re also struggling with keeping out people with deadly strains of tuberculosis out, even when a specific warning about the specific person carrying the disease pops on the agent’s computer screen. A world-traveling American lawyer from Atlanta, Andrew Speaker, was allowed to cross the border despite being identified as having a dangerous strain of TB because the inspector who he dealt with ignored the warning on his computer because Speaker “appeared perfectly healthy” and that the warning on his computer screen as “discretionary.” Unless the word discretionary actually appears in bold lettering on said computer screen, that’s not a legit excuse. Does there really need to be a big black and white skull and crossbones on the screen, a la the picture they put on the side of products containing lethal poisons, before you’ll actually stop the carrier of a serious and communicable disease from entering the country? Speaker is now quarantined at a hospital in Denver, while the border inspector in question may soon find himself quarantined in the unemployment line. Read the screen, do what it says, border inspectors, it’s not that difficult.
- For all our law enforcement friends out there, please note that the following line is not acceptable during a traffic stop and could result in your being fired and facing criminal charges: I’ll need license, registration and oral sex, please. James Randy Moss (someone with the name Randy Moss in legal trouble, amazing), a former state trooper from Knoxville, Tenn. who resigned after allegations from a porn actress that she engaged in sexual activity with him during a traffic stop, is now facing a plethora of charges after several women came forward with similar stories of misconduct. Prosecutors are close to locking up an indictment of Moss on charges of official misconduct and tampering with evidence. Here’s hoping Moss gets hit with every charge possible and sentenced harshly for his crimes, because he’s absolutely a piece of crap based on what he has allegedly done. Traffic stops are bad enough for drivers, and this guy was out there compounding the misery of being pulled over by trying to get his freak on with women he stopped. Keep it in your pants, Moss, wearing a badge and trooper’s hat don’t give you the right to coerce motorists into getting’ busy with you.
- So the chick that won American Karaoke is declaring that she’s proud to be chunky, and I have to take issue with her on that. I honestly don’t care what she looks like because I’ve never even seen her and hope I never do, but what I take issue with is anyone who has had anything to do with any season of American Karaoke having any sort of pride at all. Don’t they make you forfeit all rights to that when you sign the paperwork to be a part of that glorified karaoke contest? “I, the undersigned, agree to renounce all rights to personal pride, dignity and self-respect as a part of my appearance on the biggest joke of a TV show known to man.” Of course, it’s not like any of the karaoke-ers from that show could be proud of the crap they call their music, so by comparison behind proud of your appearance seems like a reasonable thing for them to aspire to. So be fat, be thin, be tall, be short, just know that whatever you look like, your music sucks and you’re an insult to quality musicians everywhere.
- Attention 40-year-old virgins worldwide living in your mom’s basement and playing Dungeons and Dragons: beginning in 2009, you can have your own dork-topia to gather in, a place where you and your fellow losers who dress like wizards, avoid sunlight at all costs and depend on the $10 weekly allowance you get from Mom can unite. That place will be the Harry Potter theme park, set to be opened in Orlando by the Universal Orlando Resort. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter will have its own Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Forbidden Forest and exactly zero individuals who have ever had sex or actually done so much as held a girl’s hand. I’ll be looking to make money off of this new park by setting up shop outside the gates selling ridiculously overpriced bottles of sunscreen, SPF 45, because the losers who will frequent this place will be whiter and pastier than cottage cheese.
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