Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Ignoring man bands, Israel likes fences and intolerant MLB umpires


- Oh, how America has influenced the world. The idea of erecting massive walls along national borders to keep out undesirables has become the United States’ thing, but it appears one of America’s top allies has been inspired by the idea that just gives Donald Trump a hard-on and that ally is none other than Israel. Israel's Cabinet has approved funding for a fence to be built along part of the country's eastern border with Jordan and interestingly enough, the plan was coordinated with Jordanian authorities. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu broke news of the big fence, which will run for nearly 19 miles from Israel's southern tip toward the site of a new airport that is under construction. Netanyahu did not announce whether the fence comes pre-pained with a sign warning, “Stay off my lawn, er, desert sand, you damn kids/terrorists,” but it would only be fitting. Still, the prime minister insisted the entire route of the fence will be on Israeli territory and will not infringe upon Jordanian sovereignty. Jordan and Israel signed a peace deal in 1994 and have maintained cordial relations since, which makes Jordan extremely unique among nations in the Middle East. Israel has grown increasingly fond of fences in recent years, constructing fortified barriers with Egypt to stem the flow of African migrants and in the Golan Heights to prevent infiltrations from Syria. The whole good fences making for good neighbors idea seems to be catching on worldwide and maybe if we all build enough barricades, we can totally isolate ourselves and finally avoid any outside influences whatsoever……..


- When your mother tells you to pick up your toys and you refuse, there are consequences. Same goes for Major League Baseball umpire Tripp Gibson, who does not tolerate insolence. If you believe Boston Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli, Gibson has zero tolerance for lazy, uncooperative players who are called out on strikes in the second inning and refuse to pick up their bat because they disagree with the call. Napoli claimed after the game that he disagreed with the call and was walking back to the dugout when he was given the rest of the game off by the umpire. He alleged that Gibson tossed him because he didn't pick up his bat and carry it with him back to the dugout, but after the game Napoli was still more concerned about the call itself. "First of all, it was a ball,'' said Napoli, who took a 3-and-2 slider from Tampa Bay Rays starter Chris Archer that he believed was outside. "I thought I walked. That's why I dropped my bat. And I had a conversation with him, told him I thought it was a ball. He said it was a good pitch, so I started taking off my batting gloves and started walking back toward the dugout.'' Napoli had literally only taken a couple of steps from the plate when the umpire stopped him. "He told me I forgot my bat,'' Napoli said. "I stopped a little bit, and [then] he told me to come back and pick up the bat. I pointed at the bat boy, who picks up our bats, and he tossed me. So then, when he tossed me, I told him how I felt.'' Napoli proceeded to go ape sh*t on Gibson, but one has to wonder if this could all have been averted had the player remembered that bat boy or not, it’s never polite to point at people……….


- In case you were wondering, the world’s smartest people are still not pursuing careers as common criminals. Enter Cristian Osorio, a New York City man who decided that stealing cars and driving stolen cars sounded like a good idea. Oddly, it can be a good idea, inasmuch as one is able to evade police and use said stolen vehicle without arousing suspicion. Oh, and as long as the thief understands that when he or she steals a car, they do not steal an unlimited quantity of gas to keep their ill-gotten ride running. Osorio didn’t seem to grasp that when driving the car he (allegedly) stole, do when he took the wrong road and ended up lost and without gas in Pennsylvania, it was a predictable end to a joy ride for a man who appears to be lacking the sufficient quantity of IQ points needed to be a world-class thief. According to police, this fool left Queens early Friday and was headed to Syracuse, New York when he got lost and ended up on the side of Route 33 in Plainfield, Pennsylvania. In one of the worst twists of kindness ever, a state trooper arrived to help and discovered the car was stolen. The awkward interaction between these two before the cop ran a check on the car and discovered it was stolen had to be awesome, but not as great as Osorio trying to figure out what to do when he had a suspicious cop checking out his story - and with a fueled-up vehicle to use - and all this poor fool had was his own two feet and a clearly lacking supply of wits with which to formulate a plan of escape from the mess in which he found himself……..


- Well that was certainly awkward. Back in the 1990s, East 17 were one of a litany of terrible man bands plaguing not only Great Britain, but the whole world. They never achieved superstar status against the likes of One Degrees Direction Town 98 Men, but they did manage to pop and lock well enough to a few songs that someone else wrote for them to sell a few albums and convince half of the group they used to be that years after the end of their semi-relevance, it was time to reunite despite having not one, but two lead singers leave. Lead singers Brian Harvey and Tony Mortimer left in 2010 and 2013 respectively, leaving a shell of a crappy man band in their wake. Original members John Hendy and Terry Coldwell remained and in the new low point of lives that have to have seen many of them, these two ass hats got together and decided that they had nothing better to do than stage a reunion. So did they call Harvey and Mortimer and plead with them to abandon whatever better thing they’d found to do - shoe salesman, city bus driver, professional yodeler - and come back to the fold? Of course not. Instead, they added a new lead singer and tried to pass off their bastardized version of an awful group off as legit. Enter a gig at The Academy in Dublin wherein a venue with a capacity of 800 for shows was busting at the seams trying to contain the tens and tens of people who abandoned all personal dignity and self-respect and attended the show. That’s right, 30 people showed up for the gig and worse still, these losers waited around even though the group delayed their performance for an hour before finally taking to the stage. Maybe they were figuring that the Irish are a notoriously late-arriving crowd and giving them a few extra minutes would bump the crowd up from embarrassingly small to just pathetically tiny. They were wrong and fans who showed up lamented the fact that Mortimer and Harvey, who sang all their big hits were gone and in their place were a couple of dudes who were glorified backup dancers back in the day. If only this were enough to stop all would-be man band reunions and convince the world to unite in agreement to ignore that this, the second-ugliest era in musical history, never actually happened……..

Monday, June 29, 2015

The Dalai Lama rocks Glastonbury, bears + beer bongs and Riot Watch! Armenia


- What’s more rock and roll than His Holiness? Nothing, if you ask Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Patti Smith. Smith welcomed The Dalai Lama onto the Pyramid Stage during her Glastonbury Festival set this weekend, surprising the crowd as she addressed them after her fifth song, “Pissing in a River.” She dedicated the track to "all our friends in Wikileaks" and explained that it was the spiritual leader's 80th birthday on July 6. "We are grateful to him for all his love of humanity and making people aware of the importance of saving the planet," Smith said, launching into a poem she had written for him. A festival organizer bought the Dalai Lama onstage to huge cheers from the crowd. "I think it would be nice if Glastonbury wished The Dalai Lama a happy birthday," Smith added. She then led the audience in a rousing rendition of 'Happy Birthday’ and in the sort of moment rarely seen in the land of smelly festival toilets, wildly overpriced concessions, smelly and un-showered attendees and yellow shirt-clad security staffers, the Dalai Lama then blew out a single candle on a cake made of fruit and addressed the crowd. "Thank you, thank you," he said. "Dear brothers and sisters, I really appreciate so many people's expression of warm feeling. These singers and musicians have white hair, but they look very youthful. That gives me encouragement, I should be more like you - more active." Sadly, His Holiness did not cap off his appearance with a stage dive or even by flashing the horns hand symbol to the mohawked, pink-haired and tattooed masses……..


- Now THAT is how you throw a party. Even if it was unintentional and the guest of honor showed up without an invitation, a party that stretched from late Friday night into Saturday morning near the campus of Lehigh University ended with a roar when a local black bear - seemingly drawn in by the scent of Natural Light and Keystone Light - lumbered onto the scene. The furry invader. weighing between 300 and 400 pounds, crashed the part and prompted a torrent of emergency calls to police around 2 a.m. in south Bethlehem, about 50 miles north of Philadelphia. The bear "lumbered close to the party and scared the living daylights out of people," police Chief Mark DiLuzio said. Summer is usually a dead time for college parties but this one was memorable enough that the university felt a need to post  a "Bear Update" on its website informing the masses that the animal was captured, tranquilized and removed from the area a couple of hours later. It was a hell of a day for the bear, which according to DiLuzio was also spotted earlier in the day near an arena and the university's athletic facilities before fleeing into a nearby swampy area. Tyler Krieder, district officer of the Pennsylvania Game Commission, said that a routine inspection after the bear’s capture revealed a tattoo on the animal’s inner lip indicating that it was from New Jersey. One theory is that the animal swam across the Delaware River to find a new home. "The bear wasn't any threat to anybody," he said. "It was just looking for somewhere to eat, take a break." Yes, a break enhanced by cheap beer, beer bongs and college hotties in halter tops. Bears know what’s up………. 


- New York Giants punter Steve Weatherford should probably know his role and shut his mouth, but the offseason in the NFL is more interesting when he does. Weatherford, who may simply kick the ball six to eight times a game for a living, is known as the fittest man in the NFL and he seems to think that status qualifies him to take an unprovoked run at one of his team’s biggest rivals. During a radio appearance, Weatherford took multiple jabs at Philadelphia Eagles quarterbacks Tim Tebow, Mark Sanchez and Sam Bradford. "I'm gonna give you a Ferrari [Bradford] that maybe won't be running all the time, or I'm giving you a nice Cadillac sedan [Sanchez]," Weatherford said. "It's not the fastest but you know what you're going to get out of it. Bradford can go from zero to 60 in three seconds, but you don't know if he's gonna start up some days." In fairness, no one really wants to defend any of the three quarterbacks because none of them are that good, so Weatherford is targeting low-hanging fruit here. The Eagles acquired Bradford this offseason in a trade with the St. Louis Rams and despite being set to make $12.95 million this season, he hasn't played since October 2013 because of injuries. Sanchez, who went 4-4 for the Eagles last season, has been underwhelming as a pro and Tebow….is a guy whose best contributions to the NFL so far have been images of him running shirtless in the rain after practice. "I'm the biggest Tim Tebow fan in the world," Weatherford said. "I mean, who wouldn't want their daughter to date a guy like that? I'll tell you what, I don't want him taking snaps for my team." An awkward throwing motion that numerous coaches have tried to overhaul and a confounding inability to read NFL defenses have been Tebow’s hallmarks as a pro, making him the easiest target of the three. Back to drop-kicking the ball for a living, Weatherford………


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Armenia is often overlooked on the world state, but a group of enraged locals  protesting higher household electricity rates this weekend made sure that didn’t stay the case. In the streets of Yereven, demonstrators blocked off the Armenian capital's main avenue for a seventh straight day with the aim of getting President Serzh Sargsyan to suspend the rate hikes. A full week of committed protesting proved to be just what was needed to get the job done, as the president announced Saturday that the government would bear the burden of the higher electricity costs until an international audit of the power company could be done. That didn’t stop the protestors from staying in place and raising their collective voice again on Sunday as event organizer Vaghinak Shushanian said the assembled masses could claim success in battle, if not a total victory. Shushanian  said it made sense to take a break after achieving the desired result, but left the decision on whether to halt the protest up to those who had committed their week to camping out, rising up and raging against The Man. Given the incomplete nature of the government’s promise in regards to the rate hikes, it wouldn’t be a stunner to see these same people have to take to the streets again in the near future for the next round in this battle to prevent The Man from taking an even bigger fistful of money from their wallets………

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Cop-beating grannies, Kaiser Chiefs need help and big British Open paychecks


- If anyone reading this is really, really good at golf but for some reason has never pursued the possibility of playing the sport professionally, now would be a wonderful time to give it a shot. Yes, it will be difficult - perhaps even impossible - to snag a spot in the most prestigious golf tournament in the world on such short notice, but three weeks remain until the British Open and the prize money alone is incentive enough to attempt the impossible. The Open Championship, as the über-snooty Brits who hail it as the tournament to end all tournament call the event, starts on July 16 at St. Andrews and the man who wins it will earn a massive paycheck of $1.8 million, an increase of $275,000 from 2014. The R&A, which governs golf in Britain, announced that overall prize money for the third major of the year has soared by $1.42 million to almost $10 million. "This increase is appropriate for an event with The Open's global appeal," R&A chief executive Peter Dawson said. Said very much like an extremely arrogant, self-important man heading up an event that wrongly believes it is a cut above every other golf tournament the PGA Tour holds, Pete. For the record, Northern Irish golfer Rory McIlroy is the defending champion of the British Open and while he has struggled at times this year, he is among those considered to have a good chance to challenging for the title this year. Jordan Spieth, who has won the first two majors this season, is the odds-on favorite to cash that $1.8 million check………


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The Czech Republic is where it’s at this weekend thanks to hundreds of far right supporters who have rallied against immigration and Islam in the Czech Republic's second largest city Brno. Their gathering was a bit - i.e. totally reactionary - as it came while those on the other end of the continuum gathered nearby in support of immigration. The day of rage came one day after a similar demonstration in the Slovak capital of Bratislava turned awesome - i.e. violent - and underscored the rising tensions surrounding immigration Europe, even in countries that have not been significantly hit by the recent wave of asylum-seekers. The idea of immigrants circling the Czech Republic as their destination of choice on the map is funny, but that didn’t keep riot police from separating the dueling groups at this weekend’s rallies and getting pelted with objects such as beer cans and bottles by the anti-migrants protesters. Tomas Vandas, the leader of the far right Workers Party of Social Justice, spearheaded this weekend’s resistance and condemned the decision of EU leaders to relocate 40,000 migrants from Italy and Greece in Europe. Vandas demanded that these interlopers be sent back to their countries of origin, sounding very much like the insecure, paranoid and extremely jingoistic hater he is. There seem to be plenty of people willingly to angrily follow him into this battle, so let the rage bolts fly and let’s enjoy the show………


- Kaiser Chiefs need help. The British indie rockers have begun writing and demoing a new album, but the process has hit a bit of a snag as they toil away in Cornwall working on the follow-up to 2013’s ‘Education, Education, Education And War.’ The prospect of putting out the successor to a release that spent two weeks at No 1 in the United Kingdom is surely daunting and after playing at Barclaycard Presents British Summer Time iLondon's Hyde Park, frontman Ricky Wilson admitted that while progress is being made, there is a need for a helping hand to guide the process. “We’re getting to the stage, which always happens with us, where we’ve made a mess and we need an adult to come and help us out,” Wilson said. “The writing is going well. Whatever the schedule is, we’re ahead of it. On the last album, we were quite nervous without (departed drummer) Nick (Hodgson). We didn’t know if we could go on the right track without him. We just did it from the heart and that went really well. But this time we’re enjoying it a lot more, not worrying so much.” He added that on “Education,” he and his bandmates worked with a chip on their shoulder and a burning desire to prove their doubters wrong. He indicated that such a hunger is missing this time around even though there are plenty of ideas for how the album should sound. “We’ve got a load of ideas, but someone needs to explain to us what’s coming out naturally, why it’s coming out and what we’re trying to say. We never think of what we want to sound like. We just go for it and make a noise,” Wilson added. Hear that, helpful adults? Your chance to shape the next great indie album is right in front of you, so step up and produce this beast………


- Don’t mess with this granny. Phyllis Stankiewicz lives in western Massachusetts and although she might look like your ordinary elderly woman who is harmless and not much of a threat to anyone around her, police officers who mistakenly knocked on her door while responding to a report of a disturbance involving someone with a baseball bat found out that that octogenarian badass isn't afraid to throw hands when her safety, well-being and peace of mind are threatened. The sh*t hit the ceiling when officers arrived at her door to investigate the report of violence and Stankiewicz opened said front door while wielding a knife and slapped an officer - but only after helpfully telling police there was no crime there and yelling at them to leave. The cops in this case clearly made the first mistake because authorities later said the disturbance report was actually for a home a block away, but it was Stankiewicz who was charged with assault and battery on a police officer. On some level, one can understand the annoyance and - for old people, who are afraid or irritated by damn near everything - agitation on the part of this woman to see officers approaching her home and talking about some nonsense involving an assailant wielding a bat, but to go from annoyed to full-on NWA “F*ck the police” rage in a matter of seconds is mildly terrifying. But even after being arrested and charged with a serious crime, Stankiewicz wasn’t giving up the fight. She Stankiewicz pleaded not guilty a district court to and was released on her own recognizance, refusing requests for comment on her case. Hopefully those asking for her thoughts on the alleged assault were a safe distance away because you clearly would not like this woman when she’s angry………

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Long-jumping NFLrs, diamond stash and runs and Kosovo f*cks up


- Swing and a miss, Kosovo, swing and a freaking miss. Your parliament had one very important job to do this week and it whiffed in prolific fashion when it failed to pass constitutional amendments that would allow the establishment of a special court to prosecute war crimes including the killing of hundreds of Serb civilians.  War crimes are kind of a big deal and this decision represents a major setback in relations between Kosovo and its main international backer, the United States. It wasn’t exactly a nail biter of a vote, either, as the 120-seat legislature voted 75-7 on Friday in favor of the amendments. Big ups to the 38 legislators without the balls or soul to show up and cast a pivotal vote, by the way. It’s because of those 38 cowards that the amendments fell short of the two-thirds majority of 80 votes that was needed to approve the changes.  Why does all of this matter? Oh, only because a European Union investigation probed alleged crimes committed during Kosovo's war for independence from Serbia, but the special court must be established to issue indictments. Back in 2010, a Council of Europe report claimed former rebel leader turned politician Hashim Thaci and other Kosovo guerrillas ran a criminal ring in 1999 that targeted Serbs, Romas and also ethnic Albanians, which definitely looks bad for Kosovo when it continues to fail on its basic duty to clear the way for anyone involved in such atrocities to be brought to justice by the international community. This isn't you failing to show up for a vote on John Boehner’s bill making orange the official skin color of America, Kosovo legislators. You f*cked this one up big time……….


- Just send a cookie bouquet next time, Jared Leto. Leto, occasionally the frontman of crappy and totally overrated quasi-rock band 30 Seconds to Mars, is also a member of the much-anticipated anti-hero movie “Suicide Squad.” He missed the start of shooting in Toronto in April, but just because he was AWOL when director David Ayer started shooting the super-villain movie doesn’t mean Leto was a total flake. His band duties kept him away in the early days of shooting, so Leto hit his co-stars up with some, um, rather unique gifts. In order to show his commitment to his role as The Joker in the film, he first sent a nice love letter with a black box with a rat in it - a live rat - to the über-hot Margot Robbie. He was just getting started, though, and sent bullets to Will Smith with a letter. Shipping bullets is generally a bad idea, but in this case it worked and Leto topped his display of munificence off by sending the entire cast a video message accompanied by a dead hog. "Basically, what he said was, 'Guys, I can't be there but I want you to know I'm doing my work as hard as you guys'. The video he showed is in character. It blew our minds away. Then we realized that day, this is real,” said Adam Beach, who stars as Slipnot in the film. Leto eventually showed up  on set in Toronto and Beach said he has been impressed by the actor's performance as The Joker. "He encompasses this beautiful man and he shows it in, 'Hello, how are you?,' but in an instant, he goes to psychotic behavior where you're in fear," Beach added.  Robbie will portray Harley Quinn, Smith will star as Deadshot, Jai Courtney will play Boomerang and Cara DeLevigne will be the film's Enchantress, with the linchpin role of Rick Flag being held down by Joel Kinnaman………



- Tuck and run, Bobbie Oskarson, tuck and run. That should have been the response when the Longmont, Colorado resident found an 8.52-carat diamond at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park at Murfreesboro. Park officials confirmed that the gem is the fifth-largest diamond found since the park was established in 1972 and that’s swell, but they never should have had that chance. Park interpreter Waymon Cox said Oskarson found the gem in the southwest corner of the 37.5-acre search field and named it Esperanza Diamond for her niece's name and the Spanish word for "hope,” but there’s a reason she didn’t name it after the Spanish word for savvy, cunning or smart. If she were any of those things, Oskarson would have jammed that diamond into her purse, backpack or pocket and made a run for it. The gem is a mere three-quarters of an inch long and as big around as a standard No. 2 pencil, so she definitely could have stashed it on her person and tried to leave the park. It may have been a tough assignment, but it was worth the risk given that b’otch’s value on the black market. While the stone may be dwarfed by the largest diamond found at the park - 16.37 carats and was discovered in 1975 - if Oskarson would have found the right fence, she could have turned her diamond into a tidy profit even though technically its discovery on land belonging to the government technically means it belongs to The Man. If ever there was a time to ignore that law, this was it…….


- Buffalo Bills wide receiver Marquise Goodwin  can fly in more ways than one. Goodwin, who was picked by the Bills in the third round of the 2013 draft, has top-end speed and as he proved this week, he still has elite leaping ability. Goodwin was absent from the Bills’ activities this week but had a good reason, as he finished fourth at the U.S. championships in the long jump, narrowly missing out on a spot at worlds. His best attempt was 27 feet, 5 1/2 inches, behind winner Marquis Dendy of Florida, who won at 28-5 3/4. "Back to football," Goodwin said. "But words can't even explain how happy I am right now." Goodwin admitted that he’s been largely focused on learning the offensive system implemented by new head coach Rex Ryan and he hasn't competed since the 2012 London Games, but figured that a recent dunking session on a basketball court convinced him to give track another try.  "I was like, `I still have a little juice in the tank. I think I can make some noise," Goodwin said. "I believed." Had he made the world championships, his schedule would have been insane and then some, as the long jump final at the championships will be held Aug. 25 in Beijing and the Bills play a preseason game four days later against Pittsburgh. Goodwin got his chance to reunite with his first love of long jumping when event chairman Ed Gorman granted him a spot in the competition. He could come back to track and field next summer, when he has more practice under his belt and a spot at the Rio Games is on the line. "We know what's (coming up) next year. I expect big things," Goodwin said. "But football is my main deal right now." Yes, the the odds of the long jump leaving you with permanent brain damage and a shorter lifespan are much lower than those offered by football, M..........

Friday, June 26, 2015

Joe Maddon wants nerds, sea gypsy smpathizers and Whole Foods = Whole Scumbags


- Whole Foods…and wholly scumbags. According to New York City's consumer chief, Whole Foods supermarkets have been routinely overcharging customers by overstating the weight of prepackaged meat, dairy and baked goods and the mark-up was substantial and clearly intentional. For example, the price on a package of coconut shrimp at the upscale market was too high by $14.84, Department of Consumer Affairs Commissioner Julie Menin said. Yes, the snobby types who shop at Whole Foods might not be the most sympathetic figures, but when a package of chicken tenders was overpriced by $4.85 and a vegetable platter by $6.15,  someone is clearly up to something shady. "These overcharges are incredibly troubling," Menin said, alleging that they continued even after Whole Foods was informed of the city investigation, which began in the fall.  That’s just outright stupid or stupidly defiant, because dialing the scamming back a notch once it was clear the fuzz was closing in on you would be at least mildly intelligent. The investigation checked the eight Whole Foods markets then open in the city and interestingly, a ninth has since opened. The  Texas-based chain has a total of 422 stores in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom and Menin sounds ready to drop the hammer as heavily as possible on the ones her department investigated. “We have been meeting with Whole Foods for months," she said, "but we repeatedly found problems that were incredibly pervasive." The best Whole Foods has done is a lame-ass statement saying it “disagrees with the DCA's overreaching allegations." No penalties have been assessed, but the fines for falsely labeling a package can be as much as $950 for the first violation and up to $1,700 for subsequent violations. Whole Foods is accused of  thousands of potential violations and just last year, it  agreed to pay $800,000 in penalties — and improve pricing accuracy — after an investigation into alleged pricing irregularities in California. Shady operations seem to be a way of business for these d-bags………


- Just stop, any studio considering spinning a Spider-Man movie of its own. Spidey has been recreated and reimagined so many times that there simply aren't enough legit stories left to tell, never mind the fact that there have been five movies with his name on them in the past decade-plus. It’s almost as if Spider-Man is cinematic crack and studio executives can’t put down the credit card and handheld mirror and sober up. They keep making Spider-Man movies and now, British actor Tom Holland has been cast in the role, replacing Andrew Garfield, who replaced Tobey Maguire. Holland began his career appearing in “Billy Elliot The Musical” in London's West End from 2008 to 2010 and has since appeared in movies such as “The Impossible” and “In The Heart of the Sea.” He has also appeared on BBC shows and now, he’s signed on with Marvel and Sony, which are working jointly on the next Spider-Man film. The studios also announced that Jon Watts, director of forthcoming thriller Cop Car starring Kevin Bacon, has been hired to direct the  project as they try to reboot the franchise - again. "As with James Gunn, Joss Whedon, and the Russo brothers, we love finding new and exciting voices to bring these characters to life. We spent a lot of time with Jon and find his take and work inspiring,” Marvel executive Kevin Feige said in a press statement. Sony chimed in as well, calling Holland “a vibrant, talented young actor capable of embodying one of the most well-known characters in the world.” Hey ass hats….this isn't about who you can find to play the role. It’s about the fact that you cannot keep “reviving” the same damn movie over and over and over again and dropping new actors in, all the while knowing fan boy suckers will keep paying to see it. Yes, Sony Pictures and Marvel struck a landmark deal in February, allowing the new Spider-Man to make his screen debut in May 2016's “Captain America: Civil War,” but that doesn’t mean we need more solo Spider-Man movies. Time for a trip to web slinger rehab, you gravy-training tools……….


- What to do with the sea gypsies, that is the question. Yes, sea gypsies do exist and while they might seem less of a nuisance than land-based gypsies because they can't be as much in your face begging for money because they decided ti immigrate to a country where they don’t speak the language or add anything of worth to society on account of being adrift at sea, they are still a problem for nations like Thailand and Myanmar. The problem becomes more complicated when you have an international organization like Human Rights Watch insisting that the governments of Thailand and Myanmar must end discrimination and other abuses against a nomadic seafaring tribe whose livelihood in their waters has been upended by development. Those people are the Moken, often dubbed "sea gypsies," who the HRW claims  face extortion and other abuses by authorities, while also under restrictions due to new conservation and immigration laws. The organization contends in its shiny new report that the Moken are particularly vulnerable because most are stateless as a result of their nomadic lifestyle. The world got to know the Moken when they were able to save themselves from the ravages of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami by knowing the seas so well that they could recognize warning signs of the disaster and flee to high ground. Howevr, the storm pillaged the sea of many of the natural resources from which the Moken extracted a subsistence living, and commercial fishing further depleted the waters. "Far from the idyllic image that tourism promotes of the Moken people, these sea nomads face increasing restrictions and attacks at sea, and systematic discrimination on land," said Brad Adams, Asia director at Human Rights Watch. His group believes that 3,000 Moken live mostly on small boats on islands along Myanmar's southern coast, with 800 more marooned in Thailand. There, they are allegedly targets for start authorities who view them as leeches and drains on society……….


- Joe Maddon remains the most entertaining manager in Major League Baseball and it’s not close. Maddon, now the skipper for the Chicago Cubs, has taken the previously lackluster and supposed “loveable losers” and turned them into a playoff contender using their plethora of young talent combined with his quirky, offbeat coaching methods. His penchant for speaking his mind no matter the circumstances is another part of his managerial charm and he flashed it following the final play of his team's 5-2 loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in the finale of a three-game series. Maddon, angry with the call that ended the game, , lashed out at the replay system, calling for an overhaul complete with “nerds” who could provide instant, independent analysis of replays. "I think it screams for an independent group back there to research the video," Maddon said after the game. "That's what I think it screams for as opposed to working umpires that are actually on the field. I think you should get a bunch of nerds back there that know how to look at a videotape and then come to a conclusion. I think it would be much more interesting that way." Maddon appears unsatisfied with the MLB-employed nerds who currently administer reviews at MLB headquarters in New York, nerds who are actually umpires that rotate from field duty to replay duty throughout the season. The offending play in this case occurred with two outs and the Cubs trailing by three in the bottom of the ninth. Batter Chris Denorfia lined a ball off the left-field wall that bounced right to left fielder Scott Van Slyke, who threw a strike to second base as Denorfia slid in.  Umpires called Denorfia out, but replays showed he might have gotten his left arm on the bag as he was being tagged on the front of his jersey. The call stood but wasn't confirmed by replay, meaning there was nothing definitive. Maddon disagreed and for the first time in sports history, actually advocated for nerds to play bigger role in games………

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Riot Watch! Paris, Nickelhack finally stopped and the NHL goes 3-on-3



- Ready for fewer massive dudes skating around the ice looking to smash each other into the glass while occasionally attempting to put a small rubber disk into the goal, hockey fans?  Then the new rule adopted this week by the NHL's general managers is for you. At their annual meeting, the GMs voted to adopt a five-minute overtime session with three skaters a side instead of four in an effort to try and reduce the number of games decided by a shootout. The NHL's Board of Governors approved the change yesterday and men like Columbus Blue Jackets general manager Jarmo Kekalainen expressed excitement over the change. “I think it's a good change and we've seen evidence of a lot more games decided in the overtime with that change both in the American (Hockey) League and the Swedish league," Kekalainen said. Initially, the league kicked around the possibility of a hybrid overtime that would have started with four-on-four and then gone to three-on-three for the final three minutes of overtime, but the players' union was against the idea. The shootout has been a part of the league since the 2004-05 lockout as a means of eliminating ties from the game, but GMs have grown tired of tired of the high number of games decided by a glorified skills competition - taking notice, soccer? - and decided to make the change. The NHL had 170 shootouts last season, representing 13.8 percent of all games. Teams that lost a shootout still get a point, while those who win get three and league officials clearly felt too many teams were gaining or losing points based on a skills contest. "I think what the goal was here was to reduce the shootouts," Nashville GM David Poile said.  "The managers just really felt they'd like to end more games in an overtime situation versus the shootout.” Having only six skaters on the ice in overtime would also open up the ice more, so it could be a winning recipe all around……….


- We were bound to get here America, even if it took us a while longer than it should have to waddle our fat asses to our portly destiny. Americans have officially tipped the scale from “Need to lose a few pounds” to “Get the crane and cut a hole in the bedroom wall to lift us out of the bed in which we’ve become entrenched due to our excessive girth,” according to a new report in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine. The authors of the report found that in the United States, adults who are obese now outnumber those who are merely overweight. Researchers from Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis estimated that 67.6 million Americans over the age of 25 were obese as of 2012, outweighing an additional 65.2 million who were merely overweight. They based their findings on data collected between 2007 and 2012 as part of the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, an ongoing study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It appears that First Lady Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" program aimed at children, government efforts to educate people about proper eating habits and the Food and Drug Administration's quest to ban trans fats have failed to sufficiently address the problem and even with longtime fast food titans like McDonald’s moving to make their menus healthier, a supersized nation is more in need than ever of extra seats purchases on flights to accommodate their excess flab and structurally reinforced ambulances to support their weight. The NHANES data includes height and weight, which are used to calculate a person's body mass index and a sadly low percentage of Americans fall in the normal BMI range of 18.5 to 24.9. Anyone with a BMI in the 25-to-29.9 range is considered overweight, while  a BMI over 30 qualifies a person as obese. Women are falling well short in the fight, as 37 percent of them are obese and 30 percent are overweight. In other words ladies, two-thirds of you are above a normal weight. Men are right there with the females, as 35 percent of men are obese and 40 percent are overweight. Now, more than ever, it’s time to push away from the buffet table and go for a walk……….


- So many jokes to make, such a limited amount of space. The simple version of this is that Canadian hack arena rockers Nickelhack have cancelled their North American tour after frontman Chad Kroeger was diagnosed with a vocal cyst. The legit version is that a band with whom the experience of listening to their music is the equivalent of having your own vocal cyst has pulled the plug on a tour that would have assaulted the ear drums and minds of people for whom good musical taste is more elusive than the bastard offspring of Bigfoot and the chupacabra. ''I am sorry I have to interrupt the party this summer and I am definitely not thrilled with the prospect of being silent for many weeks to come when I could be out there playing for our fans. I am relying on my doctor and his team to help get my voice back in good form as quickly as possible,” Kroeger said in a statement posted on Nickelback.com. Again, so many jokes. First, the irony is that the band should be apologizing for the gigs they did play, not the ones they canceled. Secondly, how can a singer return to “good form” when he’s never remotetly resembled anything in the general vicinity of good his entire sorry career? The band also posted a video apologizing for the cancellation of the tour and yet, they did nothing to express contrition for the hours of terrible music, vocals that sound as if their author is passing a kidney stone and lyrcis with less sophistication than a Neanderthal hunter clubbing a tiger with a massive hunk of wood and dragging it back to his cave. Way to miss the point, guys. The real hero here is the doctor who diagnosed Kroeger and saved so many people from having to hear a live Nickelhack performance by ordering the ultimate poseur frontman to rest for three weeks before having surgery to rectify the problem. And no, there is still no surgery to rectify sucking exponentially at music, so don’t expect this procedure to fix much of anything. Sadly, it’s expected that Kroeger will make a full recovery in time for the European leg of the tour, which starts in Lithuania on October 14. Sorry we couldn’t do more to help you out, eastern Europe, but you still have time to avert this disaster. Write your legislator now and see what you can do……..


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The rage has been flowing deep and the dissidence plentiful in Paris of late and it kept rolling this week as police in France’s capital detained five Greenpeace activists after they dangled from a bridge and unfurled banners on the Seine River that call for cuts in nuclear power. The environmental group confirmed the arrests, which it said were in response to the fact that France has the world's highest reliance on nuclear power — about two-thirds of its current energy production — and also that parliament is debating nuclear power this week. The enviro-kooks can be forgiven for their choice of location because there are approximately 79 different bridges over the Seine within the Paris city limits and they chose on a bridge near the National Assembly, parliament's lower house. There, they unfurled several banners, including one floating on the water, showing  picture of President Francois Hollande and his campaign pledge to reduce France's dependency on nuclear power to 50 percent by 2025. The Greenpeace crew seemed particularly enraged by the fact that a Senate bill on nuclear power passed last week made no reference to that deadline. However, the National Assembly has approved the timetable, and representatives from each chamber are working out the details this week. Energy and Environment Minister Segolene Royal said Greenpeace wants France out of nuclear energy production altogether, but was quick to note "that's not the government's position." She did re-affirm the 2025 date and said "there's no need to polemicize it." In December, Paris will host a U.N.-backed conference of 190 countries that aims to limit greenhouse gas emissions as part of efforts to fight global warming and if that isn't a Greenpeace protestor’s wet dream, then nothing is. "Renewables are the only way to fight against climate change,” Greenpeace climate activist Cyrille Cormier said in response to France’s ongoing debate. Keep up the fight, enviro-kooks……….

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

NBC ends "Hannibal," the Sacramento Kings disaster and Venezuelan hunger strikes


- Someone get jailed Venezuelan opposition leader Leopoldo Lopez a burger, some fish tacos, a quesadilla or a steak because the man has clearly earned it. Lopez was jailed for daring to oppose the country’s oppressive regime under despot Nicolas Maduro - the handpicked successor of the late dictator Hugo Chavez - and he z and another imprisoned politician stopped eating in May, demanding that the government set a date for legislative elections. In typical government fashion, the powers that be dragged their feet and for 30 days Lopez and his comrade refused to eat. That came to an end this week as the two men ended their 30-day hunger strike after authorities set a date for elections. Lopez's wife, Lilian Tintori, read a letter from Lopez at a press conference in which the activist announced his decision. The government is clearly not eager to hold elections because the opposition is favored to win the vote by a landslide amid mounting frustration with Maduro's management of Venezuela’s oil-dependent economy. The National Electoral Council announced at the start of the week that on balloting would be held Dec. 6 and if the government actally follows through with them, they would effectively refute months of speculation by the opposition that the contest would be canceled. Add Lopez to the long list of leaders who have used a willingness to go weeks without eating as an effective weapon to help create change in situations where a defiant regime would otherwise be content to defend the status quo in order to maintain is iron grip on power………


- The Sacramento Kings have been an NBA wasteland for the better part of the past decade; a charred wasteland of wasted draft picks, ill-advised free-agent signings and a revolving door at their head coaching position to the point that the housemates on “Big Brother” have more stability in their life. So why change that way of living just because you hired a new coach and theoretically want to bring winning basketball back to California’s capital city? The scene palying out right now in Sacramento is so Kings that it’s wonderful, with newly hired head coach George Karl locked in a death struggle with both his team’s best player and a front office that refuses to allow him to trade that talented, yet troubled player. Karl has been given the power to make draft picks and engineer some trades, but the one he most wants to make involves Kings forward DeMarcus Cousins. Cousins has yet to turn 25 and yet averaged 24 points and 13 rebounds for a terrible Kings team this season, but he is also a notoriously difficult player to handle and one with his share of maturity issues in his past. Karl is adamant about trading him and Cousins reportedly was unhappy when the coah was hired in mid-April. The two reportedly haven't spoken for months and there are multiple reports that coaches and players are horrified at the possibility of these men having to work together next season. Yet Kings owner Vivek Ranadive will not allow Karl to trade Cousins and said the team has "zero interest" in dealing its best player. “We have no interest in moving him. From my perspective, it's really simple: We feel that he's a one-of-a-kind player.” Hearing Ranadive advocate for stability is funny because this is a man whose team has started each of the past four seasons with a new coach and him putting his foot down on this one could lead to disaster………..


- Know your mark. That mantra would have done wonders for Philip Tabili Jr., whose burglary attempt in Kenosha, Wisconsin met a painful end at the hands of the man whose home he attempted to burglarize. That would be high school wrestling coach Jerril Grover, who clearly is not the sort of man whose castle you want to attempt to storm. Tabili, who admitted to the officers who showed up to end his pain at the hands of Grover and arrest him that “he uses heroin every few days and was looking for work” when he tried to enter Grover’s bedroom through a window. Grover was having none of it and confronted the man on his window ledge, knocking Tabili down and smashing a vase over the suspect’s head. Going Gallagher on a dude’s head - albeit with a vase instead of a watermelon - might be enough to end most fights, but against some meth head tweaker burglarizing your house, you’re going to need more. Grover, a wrestling coach at Bradford High School, was more than prepared to finish the fight. He told police that after the vase smash, his "adrenaline kicked into action" and after the ensuing skirmish, he hogtied Tabili and laid on top of him until police arrived. In a bizarre twist, he also told police that the suspect told him that he wanted to cut his grass. Grover was also disturbingly calm in the aftermath and expressed no ill will toward Tabili.  “It all worked out well in the end, and I hope the young man is getting some help,” Glover said. For now, Tabili is charged with burglary, theft and disorderly conduct and is clearly a man in need of a new direction in life……….


- NBC is cannibalizing "Hannibal." The network has canceled Bryan Fuller's "Silence of the Lambs" prequel series, ending its run after three well-received seasons. Its full 13-episode third season will run its course on Thursdays at 10 p.m., culminating in a series finale on Sept. 3.  "NBC has allowed us to craft a television series that no other broadcast network would have dared, and kept us on the air for three seasons despite Cancelation Bear Chow ratings and images that would have shredded the eyeballs of lesser Standards & Practices enforcers," Fuller said in a statement. "[NBC Entertainment exec] Jen Salke and her team have been fantastic partners and creatively supportive beyond measure.” Fuller expressed hope that the show could live on elsewhere and added that he is optimistic about working with NBC again in the future. NBC was likewise chipper, noting that it has “been tremendously proud of 'Hannibal' over its three seasons” and saying that “Bryan and his team of writers and producers, as well as our incredible actors, have brought a visual palette of storytelling that has been second to none in all of television.” Those are mighty nice words for a show that was canceled after starting its current season June 4 with 2.57 million total viewers before slipping to a series low the following week when only 1.66 million tuned in. The show stars Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen and has been a smash with critics, who saluted Fuller for challenging the normal standards of broadcast television with the show's graphic and visually creative deaths. “Hannibal” had served to bridge NBC’s traditional TV seasons after they ended in May and resumed in the fall, but its ratings of late were simply not enough to justify keeping it alive. At three seasons, it still lasted longer than many new shows……….

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Terrelle Pryor burns bridges, losers and their Nintendo crocheting and Burger King's red Samurai burger


- Like ketchup and tomatoes on your hamburger but feel like there’s not enough vibrant red coloring on your favorite sammitch? Burger King, home of so many examples of wretched dietary excess, is aiming to fix that and add even more hollow calories to your daily diet by grilling up an all-red burger that will make its debut soon in Japan. For now, the Samurai burger will be available only in the Land of the Rising Sun and it will feature crimson-colored buns and red-tinted cheese, along with the so-called "angry sauce." There will also be some non-red elements to the sandwich, as customers can choose either a beef Whopper patty or a royal hot chicken patty. The red Samurai burger will be offered for a limited time of July 3 through August 20, although one would expect that if it’s a real menu hit, it will hang around for a while longer. That might be tough with a whopper of a price tag that will put its cost at about $5.60. It will pair nicely with Burger King's black Samurai burger, which is already available in Japan. This all keeps up with the idea of disturbingly ugly and unhealthy foods being served up both in the United States and abroad by fast food joints, alongside the monstrosity that is Pizza Hut's pepperoni pizza with a crust made from pigs-in-blankets and the Double Down from KFC, a sandwich that uses fried chicken as buns instead of bread. By comparison, a red sandwich is only mildly offensive and not quite as unhealthy as the other fatty foods keeping America’s waistline bloated……….


- For a day, funk rocker Nile Rodgers went back to his humble roots. Rodgers, like so many successful artists, once ground out a living on street corners and in grimy clubs. He has since sold hundreds of thousands of albums over years and years, but after playing the British Summer Time festival in Hyde Park on Sunday, he began his week by doing a short stint as a street performer  on London's South Bank. Rodgers did very well for himself when he spent 20 minutes performing near the Thames Rivers, earning about $20 and later posting. "This really was a blast today. I truly used to like busking. I made a decent living and some lifelong friends," he wrote in a tweet. “Today I went busking on the ‪#London Southbank. Didn't draw much of a crowd until I stared playing dance music. Hmm?” Rodgers noted that he started out his musical career when he was young and homeless by busking and while the odds of him getting costumed up and showing up in Trafalgar Square or outside an Underground station with a guitar case and asking for donations isn't something that’s going to happen on a regular basis, it calls back to U2’s recent stints doing the same in the past, the most recent coming on a New York City subway platform last month. That Rodgers had to start busting out some dance music before people really started paying attention to him is sad, but given that societal music tastes are so terrible and gravitate toward unlistenable pop crap when it comes to radio stations and streaming services, it’s not the least bit surprising. Still, taking to the streets 12 hours after playing a show alongside Grace Jones is a neat way to begin a new week………


- Is Norwegian Nintendo super fan Kjetil Nordin a loser? Yes, he is. Sorry to those who take offense to calling someone a loser when you’ve never met them, but there is nothing wrong with labeling someone as loser-tastic when they spent much of the past six years of their life tirelessly crocheting a real-life "World 1" map of Super Mario Bros. 3, made entirely out of yarn. Kjetil carved out a whopping 800 hours  to make this happen and while you can argue that devoting the equivalent of nearly five full weeks of time to making a monument to your girlfriend-less, friend-less, social life-less status merely shows how much you love your favorite video game and gaming system, it’s proof of much more. It’s proof that you are a socially stunted misfit who has neither friends nor self-respect, because having either would have alerted you to the fact that this project is like a giant flashing light of patheticness that you can never turn off even if you send that map up in a ginormous ball of flame. "I've spent 800 hours crocheting and many hours researching and searching for the correct yarn,” Nordin said. “When the water was half way finished I saw that I had chosen the wrong shade of blue. It was almost purple, and very ugly, so I had to undo all of it. That took an extra week." Want to guess who wasn’t with him when he was out searching for the perfect shade of blue yarn to create the water on his oversized art project? His girlfriend or best friend, both of which it’s clear he doesn’t have and won't have any time soon. Don’t even bother telling Kjetil to be proud of his accomplishment because pride shouldn’t be anywhere near this embarrassment……….
 

- Terrelle Pryor has been a disappointment for virtually his entire NFL career…so why change now? Pryor, who was a 2011 supplemental draft pick by the Oakland Raiders, never lived up to any promise he once held during a short stint starting in Oakland and since then, he has bounced around the league and failed to latch on anywhere. His most recent stop before this week was Cincinnati, where he not only failed to earn playing time or win the starting job, but managed to detonate several bridges on his way out the door. The Bengals are livid that Pryor posted images from their recent minicamp to one of his social media accounts Monday afternoon after being waived on Thursday. The videos he posted were of himself throwing passes during full-team drills at the Bengals' minicamp and even though media members are allowed into those sessions, cameras are permitted to roll only during warm-up and start-of-practice installation periods and are forbidden from documenting, via video, accounts of those full-team drills. Pryor spent just a month with the Bengals after being brought in by offensive coordinator Hue Jackson, who was the Raiders' head coach at the time Pryor was drafted. He managed to look remotely competent during a tryout during rookie minicamp in May, but came up well short of his goal of competing for the Bengals' backup quarterback job.  He actually dropped one spot on the depth chart to fourth and when it became clear he wouldn’t win the backup job, the Bengals cut him loose. They did so to give him time to catch on with another team and he was claimed by the Bengals’ in-state rivals, the Cleveland Browns, at the start of the week as a receiver. Thus, the tagline on one of the videos Pryor posted and later deleted: "Going to miss QB but I will make a great WR! Already working!!" Just not working on understanding the rules - unwritten and otherwise - of your sport………..

Monday, June 22, 2015

Gren Oden won't go away, trasn-dumping felons and Kim Gordon goes cultured


- Let it go, former No. 1 overall pick Greg Oden. Sure, you were the top pick by the Portland Trail Blazers over Kevin Durant in the 2007 NBA draft, but that was nearly a decade ago and since then, you’re missed more than 75 percent your teams’ games, gotten picked up by the police for domestic violence and contributed nothing of worth in the Association. Along the way in one of the most snakebitten journeys in NBA history, Oden has been limited to 105 games due to multiple microfracture knee surgeries and other issues. He’s looked like he’s 50 since he walked onto the Ohio State campus as a freshman and his body behaves like a retiree’s, which is the reason he was last seen on an NBA bench while playing for the Miami Heat in 2013-14, appearing in 23 games after a three-season layoff. No one has been clamoring for his return this time around, not even after Ohio State coach Thad Matta, who coached Oden during his one season in college, said at the NCAA tournament in Portland that Oden had been doing "high-level training" on campus for sixth months and had slimmed down to about 280 pounds. "Quite honestly, I haven't seen Greg look this good since when he played for us back in the day at Ohio State," Matta said in March. "His attitude is off the charts." Based simply on being 7-foot-1 and breathing, there will always be NBA teams willing to take a look if Oden wants to play and now, he’s slated to participate in the Dallas Mavericks' free-agent minicamp next week. He also worked out for the Charlotte Hornets on Wednesday and the Memphis Grizzlies recently and seems intent on another comeback, but the odds of someone with his fragility and injury history suddenly finding routinely clean bills of health this far into his career….not so good…………


- World, it’s time to make nice with North Korea. Sure, those irascible maniacs on the northern end of the Korean Peninsula are trying to develop a nuclear weapon and they trample the basic rights of their people on a daily basis. Yes, their Lilliputian leader Kim Jong-Un is a gluttonous megalomaniac who is hell-bent on starting World War III even though such a conflict would end with his nation as a smoldering crater of rubble. But when a country has discovered a miracle cure-all that would wipe out four of the world’s deadliest diseases, then getting friendly with it is the right call. Enter North Korea and its newfound cure for Ebola, AIDS, MERS and SARS, which would put the capstone on decades of research by scientists trying to eradicate these health scourges from humanity. Not only that, but the North Koreans have apparently had the solution for 19 years. Yes, its scientists apparently first produced the disease-fighting drug in 1996, according to state-friendly media outlets. Of course, knowing that this claim would be met with both skepticism and envy by those who want to discredit North Korea and steal this miracle cure for themselves, Pyongyang hasn’t yet provided any actua details about this cure. Word on the street is that it contains a natural herb, some plant food and a few elements, but that’s about all. The injection drug Kumdang-2 was developed from ginseng grown from fertilizer mixed with rare-earth elements, according to the official Korean Central News Agency and to bring the bling, it also has “micro-quantities of gold and platinum” thrown in, the drug's website says. It wipes out “malicious virus infections like SARS, Ebola and MERS” and is “a strong immune reviver," according to state media. Curiously, earlier this year, North Korea shut out foreign tourists for six months because of Ebola fears, but it is K.J. Un’s cure to share or hoard……….


- Sonic Youth bassist-vocalist Kim Gordon is a rock and roll icon and a pioneer for women in the punk genre, but what is she doing with her lofty status these days? How about cranking out vinyl copes of the ballet scores she composes for theatrical productions? If that sounds like the most un-rock and roll thing ever, it’s damn close. Gordon was commissioned last year to create music for Inversions, a ballet conceived by New York artist Nick Mauss. Gordon, who earlier this month collaborated with J Mascis on a song titled 'Slow Boy' for a new compilation curated by Converse, penned 'Music for Inversions: A Live Ballet by Nick Mauss,' and while the ballet itself didn’t become an international sensation, those involved thought it might be possible to bring in some extra cash with a limited edition vinyl release of the music - you know, for those who want to be totally hipster while prancing around their Manhattan apartment in ballet flats trying to mimic the moves of whichever prima ballerina was the star of this stage production. A total of 250 copies of the album will be pressed and each will feature silk-screened cover art by Mauss himself. No release date has been announced, but interested parties can pre-order the record by contacting info@303inprint.com. The ballet itself premiered last October at the Frieze Art Fair in London and was choreographed by Northern Ballet’s Kenneth Tindall for five dancers and featured text by poet Juliana Huxtable. Gordon performed the music live and while she remains as rock and roll as ever, this one doesn’t do a lot for her rock cred……….


- Free trash collection event in Kingman, Arizona, or sting operation to catch a hardened criminal garbage dumper and shut his sorry ass down? The answer is yes for Arizona detectives holding a free trash collection event who not only kept the peace and allowed the thrifty among them to get rid of unwanted items, but also arrested Trenton Drake White, who is suspected of illegal dumping. While White was waiting in line for the event, detectives recognized his vehicle as one that was spotted five days earlier at the home of their suspect, who allegedly dumped 600 pounds of construction and household trash in the desert. Showing what a hardened criminal he is, when detectives approached him, they said he admitted to dumping the items and was subsequently arrested on two unrelated misdemeanor warrants for failure to pay fines and driving on a suspended license, plus that new felony charge of illegal dumping. Maybe a fake beard or plastic nose and phony glasses would have been a good idea before going to an event where there would be a lot of police, or even asking a buddy if you could borrow his truck because yours was (allegedly) not running that day. The Mohave County Attorney's Office will review the case and given that the suspect a) now has three pending criminal charges against him and b) admitted to the most serious one of the three, it would seem that White is going to have a major black mark on his record going forward. It’s an awfully steep price to pay merely to avoid paying a few extra dollars on your garbage bill for the month……….

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Uber sidelines sidearms, the "Bourne" gang reunites and Riot Watch! England


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! England’s rage is real and despite the regal manner in which the Brits like to carry themselves, they find themselves in a position not so different than the one in which Greeks find themselves as the hands of those authoritarian ass hats at the European Union. Greece has agreed to myriad cuts, changes and austerity measures handed down by the EU in exchange for keeping their fiscally insolvent state above water and now that the British government is applying the same sorts of measures to England, let’s just say the English aren't drinking it down the way they do their beloved warm beer. Instead, thousands of angry Englishmen took the chance to gather in an angry mob outside of the Bank of England for a march to protest against British government austerity programs and spending cuts. Sadly, the march from the financial district to Parliament Square was disappointingly peaceful even though the protestors claimed to be irate about public sector cuts meant to address government deficits, which ballooned after Britain rescued troubled banks during the 2008 financial crisis. If they were really angry then sh*t would have gotten burned, overturned, looted and hurled, so these protest poseurs’ argument that the public is being punished for a crisis it did not cause doesn’t hold much weight. Place blame for that on Sam Fairbairn of the People's Assembly, which organized the event and said the march will be the start of a nationwide campaign of protest, strikes and civil disobedience. Sorry Sam, but none of that sounds like it’s going to make much of a difference……….


- Much to the surprise of no one, the latest World Anti-Doping Agency report on who is and isn't jamming illegal substances into their veins or down their throats in the pursuit of athletic excellence on a global stage. The WADA report shows expected clubhouse leaders Russia and Turkey producing the most doping violations, with equally expected individual sport leaders weightlifting and track and field heading the list of those with the highest number of cases. It also revealed that a whopping 1,953 sanctions were handed out for doping violations committed in 2013 and to the credit of the world’s many athletics-loving nations, those sanctions and the cases from which they were spawned  involved athletes and support personnel in 115 countries and in 89 sports. In other words, dishonesty, scumbaggery and deceit know no language barriers or ethnic constraints. Everyone cheats and everyone can translate the phrase, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying and it’s only cheating if you get caught,” into their own language. Still two nations managed to separate themselves from the pack and try to gain an unfair, illegal edge more than any other. Russia led all countries with 225 violations, followed by Turkey with 188. WADA president Craig Reedie stated the blatantly obvious when he said that "with close to 2,000 sanctions in one year and almost every sport represented, it's evident that doping still represents a huge threat to modern day sports." Way to shock the world, C-Note. As for which sports were the dirtiest, athletics produced 280 violations and weightlifting had 252………


- What the hell, Uber? You may think your supposedly revolutionary transportation service in which ordinary schlubs with a car and some spare time shire strangers around town is awesome and will revolutionize the driving business, but it won't if you keep pulling sh*t like this. Yes, the ride-hailing app  is banning its riders and drivers from carrying guns. Uber announced late last week that it is banning firearms of any kind during rides arranged through the Uber platform and may ban drivers or riders who violate the rule from accessing the platform. Of course, there is no damn way Uber can actually enforce this given the independent contractor nature of its system, short of providing drivers with portable body scanners and patting down every driver before they head out on the road, but merely announcing this change - effective July 10 - should do a decent amount to make both drivers and passengers feel safer. Uber said in a statement that it made the change after reviewing feedback from both passengers and drivers. The San Francisco-based company allows users to summon cars through an app in more than 250 cities worldwide and is valued at around $40 billion. In the past, Uber deferred to local law on the issue, but in the face of various legal and regulatory challenges as it expands in the United States and abroad for many issues, including the thoroughness of the background checks it does on drivers and other safety issues, it has decided that change is needed. Oh, and there was that incident in April in which an Uber driver with a concealed-carry permit shot a man who had opened fire on a group of pedestrians in Chicago. According to court records, the man was shooting at pedestrians who were walking in front of the Uber driver's vehicle, and the driver shot the gunman. Although the driver wasn’t charged and prosecutors said he acted in defense of himself and others, Uber has decided to play it safe and sideline sidearms……….


- The gang is getting back together and it’s a beautiful thing. We already know that after an abortion of a bogus “Bourne” movie three years ago in which the name of the titular character is the only actual link to said character in the entire subpar movie, Bourne himself will be riding back to the franchise’s rescue as Matt Damon takes his rightful place at the head of the film and elbows Jeremy Renner aside. Damon is returning because his chosen director for the film, Paul Greengrass, is back and as it turns out, so is another key piece of the first three (legitimate) films in the series. Julia Stiles has signed on to appear in the fourth installment of the Bourne franchise, reprising her role as intelligence agent Nicky Parsons. Like Damon and Greengrass and other key members of the family, Stiles mercifully had nothing to do with the cinematic stink bomb that was “The Bourne Legacy” and now she can step back in and be a part of making the franchise awesome once more. This could change the recent rumors linking former “Machina” actress Alicia Vikander  to the female lead in the fifth “Bourne” film, but it’s not like that would be devastating news to anyone because Vikander has no history with the franchise and you can't miss something that never existed. There is no official title for the fifth film, but it will mark Damon’s first turn as Jason Bourne in a decade and for the first of their soon-to-be-four turns together in it, Damon and Greengrass will write the screenplay themselves, alongside Christopher Rouse, who served as editor on the second and third Bourne films. Details about the plot are being tightly guarded, but merely comparing it to “Legacy” will undoubtedly make it shine by sheer comparison………

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Muse revisits its roots, California's new Hyperloop (idea) and social media snipers Kung Fu Panda


- The concept remains, but so far it hasn’t gained much traction. Given the packed, slow-moving state of California traffic, the question is why. It is the Hyperloop, a conceptual train system unveiled by Tesla CEO Elon Musk, one he announced in 2013 and which would shuttle passengers from San Francisco to Los Angeles in 30 minutes. SpaceX, the space exploration company Musk owns, said this week that it will build a one-mile test track near its headquarters in Hawthorne, California and is calling on engineering teams and university students to develop the pods, which Musk's concept said should move at more than 700 mph. SpaceX announced the competition as a way to "accelerate development of a functional Hyperloop prototype,” though one could argue that it’s a great way to get others to do their work for them for free. Those interested in some unpaid labor in return for possible scientific glory down the road need to have their pods ready in the next year because SpaceX claims its  test track should be ready by June 2016. The track was originally supposed to be built in Texas, but Musk is rich and eccentric and can do whatever the hell he wants. The Hyperloop was his hyper-aloof response  to the news that California was building a $68 billion high-speed rail system with a top speed of 220 mph. According to Musk, the proposed system is too expensive and even if it is completed, he argued that it would be too slow and inconvenient. Of course, the state-sponsored railway is already under construction and Musk is pushing ahead even though he has said repeatedly that he has no plans for either SpaceX or Tesla to make the Hyperloop commercially viable and wants other companies to step in. In fact, former SpaceX engineer Dirk Ahlborn has his own company, Hyperloop Technologies, which is one of three that has started work on the idea. This should be a fun race to watch………..


- Whatever the reason, less electronica in rock and roll is a good thing. Muse, fresh off releasing their seventh album earlier this month, are sounding less EDM these days and more like an actual rock band. So the obvious question when it comes to “Drones,” their new release, is why the reversion to a more guitar-based sound? Bassist Chris Wolstenholme explained the change and it’s not exactly what you would expect to hear from a talented, nuanced band that has become one of the biggest and arguably most political in music. Wolstenholme claimed that the band’s change in sound came because their music was "becoming more and more difficult to play live." The new album topped the United Kingdom’s album charts and sold 73,000 copies in its first week on the market. It is Muse’s fifth album to top the charts in the U.K. and it is allegedly the byproduct of how their songs translated to a live setting, thereby preventing  them from pursing a more electronic route that came more to the focus with previous albums 'The 2nd Law' and 'The Resistance.’ "We got to the point where things were becoming more and more difficult to play live,” Wolstenholme said. “ It was a real headache with certain songs on the last album to try and work out all the arrangements to get them to work live. In the last six albums additional things crept in apart from the rock three piece, so all these classical influences and particularly the electronic influence.” He oh, so wisely noted that had Muse “gone any further we would have been an electronic band." Instead, they made the brilliant choice to get back to their rock roots with one guitar player, one bass player and one drummer and see what sort of magical places that could lead them……….


- Big day for Brazilian police and amazingly, it didn’t involve riots in slums by impoverished people whose basic rights and freedoms are squashed on a daily basis. Instead, the long arm of the law arrested the presidents of two of the country's largest construction companies for their alleged involvement in the massive corruption scheme at the country's state-run oil company, Petrobras. Federal Police inspector Igor Romario de Paulo announced at a news conference that Marcelo Odebrecht and Otavio Marques de Azevedo  now face charges of cartel formation, money laundering and diversion of public funds. These two deviants are the chief executives of Odebrecht and Andrade Gutierrez, respectively, and they truly do lead the way because an additional eight executives from the two companies were also arrested. These 10 mischief-makers will be taken to the southern city of Curitiba, where the investigation is based. "We have money-laundering professionals in Brazil and we have no doubt that Odebrecht and Andrade Gutierrez headed the cartel scheme inside Petrobras," federal prosecutor Carlos Fernando dos Santos Lima said.  "I do not see how the companies can claim innocence given how much evidence we have." Carlos has clearly never dealt with corrupt titans of industry because these ass hats can claim innocence regardless of the mountain of evidence against them, even if that mountain shows their leaders  "had a sophisticated system" for making the alleged bribe payments, using foreign bank accounts in Switzerland, Monaco and Panama. This is one helluva an alleged scam, as it is alleged - get ready for a lot of that word - to have involved at least $800 million in bribes and other illegal funds. A large chunk of that alleged cash was allegedly funneled back to the ruling Workers' Party and its allies' campaign coffers and allegedly also included the payment of bribes to Petrobras executives in return for inflated contracts. Petrobras just so happens to be Brazil's biggest company and is in charge of tapping big offshore oil fields and creating wealth and is/was the country’s big hope for propelling their nation to developed world status. At this point, all of the accused are denying every accusation against them, which is par for the course………


- Social media. Loaded gun. Always. For everyone. Boston Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval  forgot that valuable lesson and it cost him one game of action. The man known as Kung Fu Panda for his cherubic frame and uncanny agility for a big guy was benched for Boston's 5-2 win Thursday by manager John Farrell after owning up to doing what all of us have done at some point, using a social media app when we were supposed to be working. The problem for Sandoval is that he’s a professional athlete and when he is noticed liking a woman's photographs that appeared in his Instagram feed while he’s at work, some blogger notices it and takes the breaking, world-changing news straight to Twitter. To Sandoval’s very limited credit, he admitted his error which occurred  during Wednesday night's 5-2 loss to Atlanta, saying that  he used his cellphone after returning to the clubhouse to use the bathroom. He met with Farrell and general manager Ben Cherington and despite being benched for a game, he was not fined and instead paid his penalty in public penance. "I know I f*cked up," Sandoval said Thursday. "I made a mistake [Wednesday]. I learned from that. I'm a human being, I made a mistake, so I apologize to my teammates, to the team, to the organization, the fans support. This is a thing that I pushed the ['like'] button at the wrong time. I hit a 'like.' I was in the bathroom, I pushed it at the wrong time. ... I just grabbed my phone and checked it." Sandoval has used the occasion to do what he should have done long ago, making his Instagram account private. He acknowledged that he is aware of the team’s rule against using cellphones during games and promised to never do it again and move forward………