Tunnel outsmarts man, protestors en masse and what will ultimately lead to the demise of our society

- Bizarre. That’s how it feels for someone who has lived in Northeast Ohio their entire life to think about an NBA Finals game being held in Cleveland. The realization that even if I were three times as old as I am now, I still wouldn’t have seen a single game of the Association’s ultimate contest in my area magnifies the bizarro factor even more. Even at their best, the Cavaliers have never been good enough to make it all the way to the Finals, and it wasn’t as if this season has been some tour de force performance that prepared us for the inevitable conclusion of the team reaching the last round of the postseason. The Cavs had a good, not great, regular season with a 50-32 record, then underwhelmed everyone in the opening round of the playoffs as they defeated an undermanned Washington Wizards squad 4-0 with all four victories coming much tougher than they should have been. In the second round, it was a 4-2 triumph over New Jersey that was as grind-it-out and ugly a series win as you can get. But here the Cavs are, surviving and winning four straight games to claim the Eastern Conference title and advance to the NBA Finals against San Antonio. No one outside of Cleveland is giving the Cavs any shot to win this series, and there’s no logical reason to dispute that, but right about now the basketball universe has been turned upside down in N.E. Ohio: THE CAVALIERS ARE IN THE NBA FINALS.

- Wanna know what happens when you, as a musical act, go away for four years and then come back? Look no further than Linkin Park, whose mix or rap, rock and nu-metal were widely embraced and integrated in the mainstream music when last we saw them, with 2003’s Meteora yielding popular radio tunes such as Somewhere I Belong and Nobody’s Listening. But the X members of LP took a break from each other to try new things, with the most visible of the members during that time being Mike Shinoda, who appeared all over the place with artists such as The Xecutioners and his own “solo” project, Fort Minor. Fast forward to 2007, where Linkin Park is back together and releasing a new album that’s good but isn't going to have nearly the same impact on the music world that their last release did for the simple reason that music has evolved and moved on without LP and while their new offering, Minutes to Midnight, would have probably been received in similar fashion to Meteora if it had been released in 2003 or 2004, it’s almost certainly going to get a more lukewarm, indifferent react from music fans and critics in 2007. Fans of LP who have stuck with the band will probably still enjoy this release, so if that includes you then go ahead and pick up this album.

- I steadfastly maintain that The Guinness Book of World Records is the single worst development in the history of pop culture and will ultimately be what destroys our society. This book, which keeps track of thousands of obscure and in most cases moronic record for things like “World’s Largest Game of Twister” and “Biggest Grilled Cheese Sandwich Ever”, annually inspires idiots with way too much free time and not nearly enough functioning brain cells to travel long distances and undertake massive efforts, all in an attempt to etch their name in this book. Thus, we have a radio station in Kansas City, Mo. staging a promotion to gather as many guitarists as possible to have them all play the iconic opening chords from the Deep Purple rock classic Smoke on the Water at the same time. The previous record is 1,322 moronic misfits and was set in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1994. A morning disc jockey for KYYS-FM came up with the idea, and so far confirmed attendees include schmucks from London, Sarajevo, California, Nebraska, Minnesota and Michigan. This is what happens when you have a world ripe with dunces and you throw out inane “world records” in a glossy, colorful book. People are going to see those stupid records and think, “Hey, I bet we could insert pointless, lame-o record-breaking activity here _ if we really tried.” Well at least playing Smoke on the Water is a better use of time than collecting the world’s biggest ball of yarn or having the most people ever hopping on one foot at the same time, so maybe that’s something…………

- Riot time! Riot time! (P.S. Still no word from esteemed YouTube legend Ronald Jenkees on crafting a theme song for this segment of the blog, why ya leavin’ me hanging, Ronald?). But today’s riot is so massive and so noteworthy that it can overcome the lack of a proper theme song. It comes to us from Rostock, Germany, where more than 30,000 protestors clogged the city streets in an attempt to get the attention of the global leaders gathering at this week’s G-8 summit. The protestors are hoping to alert the leaders who comprise the Group of Eight - the world’s largest industrialized nations, to the plight of the poorest nations among us. The anti-globalization enthusiasm of the demonstrators isn't dampened by the fact that Rostock is 16 miles from the actual site of the G-8 summit either. The summit is being held in Heiligendamm, a coastal resort town where the leaders can be isolated from any sort of dissenting voice that might provide them with information that doesn’t unconditionally support what they already think. “For years, the G-8 summits have been held in isolated places so that we can’t get to them,” lamented an unnamed protest leader on a PA system at the rally. “But they are wrong, we are here, we are many and we are not leaving.” Unfortunately, unnamed leader, despite the justness and rightness of your cause, you may not be leaving or shutting up, but the leaders of the G-8 nations aren't doing a few things as well, namely changing their policies to benefit anyone but themselves or making concerted efforts to share their wealth and resources with poor, underdeveloped nations.

- You really, really don’t want to piss of Jack Bauer. Sure he’s only 5’6, but he’s still the baddest mo’fo around, just ask any of the terrorists and enemies who have dared to cross the path of TV’s toughest secret agent. Jorge Romero of Chicago is about to find out the hard way what happens when you mess with Jack. Romero has been charged in a Los Angeles federal court with copyright violations for allegedly downloading the first four episodes of this season of FOX’s hit spy drama 24 from a website, then uploading them to LiveDigital.com before the show had even aired the season’s premiere episode. I’m not sure how any website had copies of those episodes available before the season started, but given the vigilant and prosecutorial nature of our society right now when it comes to illegally downloading and sharing digital files (music, movies, TV, etc.), Romero is quite frankly in major trouble right now, and I don’t think he’s going to get off with a slap on the wrist. On the upside, maybe he’ll inspire a storyline for Season 6 where Jack Bauer goes on a cross-country mission to track down a show-pirating terrorist who is threatening to release bootlegged copies of Seasons 7 and 8 unless his ransom demands are met…………

- Our nation’s roadways are clogged with idiots, that much is clear. How else do you explain a semi-truck driver piloting his rig the entire 1.5-mile length of New York’s Lincoln Tunnel, peeling off his trailer’s roof and damaging the ceiling of the tunnel because his truck was 6 inches too tall to fit through the tunnel? Flashing signs and police officers using a loudspeaker tried to alert this tool to the problem at hand, but for reasons that are still unclear, he didn’t heed the warnings. The damage to the roof of the tunnel was fairly extensive, as was the damage to the truck. The driver himself was from Texas but apparently forgot to remember that the adage which says everything is bigger in Texas also includes the height of tunnels…….