- Going up in the world of music……the White Stripes, back with their new album Icky Thump. At this point, the garish, slightly Goth imagery and “mysterious” relationship between Jack and Meg White are so familiar that most loyal fans and listeners of their music will push right past all of that and wonder what exactly this album sounds like. Is it the offbeat, quirky, mostly mellow sound that prevailed on Get Behind Me Satan, the Stripes’ previous effort, or is in the raw, garage-rock sound that defined the group’s early existence? The answer, of course, is neither. Icky Thump borrows from the best of both sounds, although their rock roots do shine through more often than not, especially on songs like Little Cream Soda. There’s also a bit of folk influence filtering in throughout the album, but in spite of an eclectic blend of sounds and influences, Icky Thump is the next step in the growth of the White Stripes and should be in heavy rotation on your iPod soon if you love good rock.
- Going down in the world of music……..Bon Jovi. I know, you’re asking how things can go down for a group that has the tragic misfortune of being eternally linked with the poofy, hairspray-shellacked image of ‘80s hair metal. The answer is that Jon Bon Jovi and his crew have undertaken the one endeavor that could single-handedly torpedo the music cred of any artist, anywhere and at any time - they have recorded a country album. I’ll pause for a moment so you, like me, can decided whether or not you now need to go and burn all of your old Bon Jovi albums, including Slippery When Wet, in protest/mourning…………..OK, and we’re back. Some will argue that Bon Jovi has steadily been sliding toward this end of the musical spectrum for years, including the tune Who Says You Can't Go Home Again off their last album, a song that featured some chick that sings for a country group called Sugarland (never heard of them, and I pray to God that I never will). However, neither a slowly building predilection for country sounds in your music nor any other excuse an artist could give would ever, EVER be a justifiable excuse for committing musical sacrilege and making a country music album. Country music is what drunken rednecks do country line dances to at honky tonk bars, it’s not an acceptable form of music for anyone with any semblance of musical taste. For now I’m going to hold off on torching all the Bon Jovi albums in my collection, but if they come out with a second country album in the years ahead, I’m breaking out the blowtorch and gasoline.
- That John Kitna, what a comedian. You may remember that when last we saw Kitna, he was the quarterback leading another woeful Detroit Lions march to putridity, that putridity coming in the form of a 3-13 season. With a few small personnel adjustments but the same incompetent general manager (Matt Millen) and the same coach as last season (Rod Marinelli), Kitna has declared that the team will somehow be able to win more than 10 games this coming season. “I'll keep to myself what I think we actually will win. But it's more than 10 games,” Kitna stated on a Detroit radio program. Well it’s always good to be an optimist, especially when your team blows and won't win more than five games, so good for Kitna. It’d be nice to have some of whatever it is he’s been smoking, because if I could get my hands on some of that stuff, I might actually believe that there’s a chance for W.’s plan to work in Iraq, that Paris Hilton could someday win the Nobel Peace Prize and become President of the United States or that VH1 would give out multiple dating reality shows to washed up former stars who can’t pull chicks on their own anymore…..wait, that last one happened? Really? Bottom line, Kitna is one of the leaders of the Lions, and he needs to put a hopeful face on what’s going to be a bad season, but I just hope he doesn’t expect anyone else to believe that his team will be anything other than abysmal.
- Dude, this could be a big problem for all you college dudes out there, bro. Apparently thieves around the country have a new favorite target, and it’s a target near and dear to the hearts of frat boys and jocks nationwide: kegs. The thieves heisting kegs aren't after the beer, though; they want the kegs themselves, which they then take to scrap yards where they receive around $35 per keg for the metal cylinders. “Right now it is a very significant problem,” admitted Jeff Becker, president of the Beer Institute, a lobbying group in Washington, D.C. And no, dudes, I don’t know how you can secure a job as a lobbyist for the Beer Institute, how you can become a member of the Beer Institute or whether Becker spends his days doing keg stands, playing XBox, wearing one of those jacked up hats with beer can holders and drinking tubes attached to the sides, etc. But right now the Beer Institute is trying to combat the keg theft epidemic by warning restaurants and bars to keep their kegs locked up. No word on what all you kegger-having college dudes should do, but maybe slap a lock on your keg like you do on your bike when you leave it somewhere around campus, hope that helps………….
- A big thumbs down and a wag of the finger to the oppressive, rights-stripping government of Iran, whose latest crackdown has focused on silencing dissenting groups that include labor leaders, universities, the press, women’s rights advocates, a former nuclear negotiator and Iranian-Americans. Well, if nothing else, at least the persecution is a blanket effort and not singling out any one specific group……….kidding. Some dissenters have been jailed, while others have been tortured or harassed. One example is young men whose apparel and haircuts have been deemed too Western have been paraded through the streets by the government, bleeding and beaten. Eight student leaders at Tehran’s Amir Kabir University disappeared into Evin Prison last month and haven't been heard from since. It’s like they always say, if you can't provide effective, fair, efficient and competent governance, brutally abuse and silence anyone who dares to speak out against you. President Mahmoud Ahmadi-nejad and his peeps are doing a poor job of governing their nation and an even worse job of dealing with dissidents among them. I would say more but I figure I’m running the risk of running afoul of this heartless, cowardly dictator and his minions, so for now that’s all I have to say about that, you suck, Mahmoud, and here’s hoping you’re overthrown sooner rather than later.
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