- Finally, a smart decision from Pacman Jones. The embattled Tennessee Titans cornerback has withdrawn his appeal of the one-year suspension given to him by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for Jones’ repeated criminal endeavors and legal troubles. Up to this point, Pacman has been fighting the ban, labeling it as excessive and whining that the commish was making an example of him. He has also steadfastly refused to accept responsibility for his own actions and choices, electing to push blame off on the people around him. But finally Pacman has reached the correct conclusion that he should drop his appeal, shut his mouth and go away to serve his suspension in relative silence. This way, at least he’s not giving Goodell any reason to consider lengthening the suspension as a vindictive measure against Jones’ continued whining and complaining about said suspension. Going that route was putting Jones in serious danger of pissing Goodell off further, something he couldn’t afford to do if he ever wants to play in the NFL again. Of course, knowing this guy’s act, there’s no way he goes this entire next year without f’ing up something else and violating the NFL’s player conduct policy again, so it’s still not a certainty that he’ll be reinstated to the league once the suspension is over anyhow. Stay down, P., don’t make it rain in any strip clubs, don’t spit on or strike any women and maybe, just maybe you can get back on the field in ’08.
- Good summer programming for television networks is hard to find (obviously, since 99.9934% of what’s on this summer is unwatchable crap) but I still have a bone to pick with my least-favorite network, the CW. Since merging the WB and UPN into one ginormous, incompetent, mismanaged entity before the start of the 2005-06 TV season, the CW has managed to run off not one, not two but three of my all-time favorite shows. My current beef with the network centers on two of those shows, Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, both of which were inexplicably axed after the just-concluded season. Yet how spiteful and bitchy of the network to keep airing both shows, in their usual time slot nonetheless, in rerun form throughout the summer despite the fact that the series have ended. It’s a big, hearty “Screw you!” in the fact of fans of both shows like me to have episodes of the shows rerunning all summer long, an omnipresent reminder that they have met their untimely demise and that their fate came at the hands of the same network that is now using them as a time-slot filler for the summer. You sunny, glass-half-full types might try to argue that hey, it’s one last chance to see the show on air, be grateful for that and……….AWWWW, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, JABRONI! That’s what putting shows on DVD is for, to relive them. As much as I loved those two shows, I really don’t need to be reminded every week that they have been canceled and that come fall they won't be around. I hate you, CW, I hate you with the burning hatred of a thousand flaming suns. You suck now, you will always suck…….
- And you thought that long lines, inept elderly poll workers and confusing voting machines were serious concerns when you vote. In Egypt, lines of police barred opposition voters from polling stations, while at the same time violence broke out between supporters of rival candidates, resulting in absolute mayhem across the country. More than 400 members of the Muslim Brotherhood (Motto: Zany hijinks and wacky shenanigans are our bag, baby!) were arrested by riot police and much to their dismay, did not receive an “I Voted Today” sticker for their troubles. But I’m sure that once the results from this election for Egypt’s upper house of parliament are tabulated, there won’t be any more trouble, especially from people who were barred from voting. Either that, or there will be more riots, more violence and more destruction. Ain’t politics grand?
- Guess what, signing up to get shot at, go to foreign countries for years on end and fight in unjustified, unnecessary wars with no purpose and no ending point isn't a big draw for the young men and women of America! As a result, the Army has fallen short of its recruiting goal for the month of May, coming up more than 400 new suckers, er, enlistees for the month. This comes even as recruitment standards have continually been relaxed further and further to the point that the military is basically willing to accept anyone of legal age. Maybe, just maybe, if we had a competent Commander in Chief, someone who was a good leader, not a moron, able to inspire confidence and enthusiasm amongst those he leads……..but we’ll have to wait until 2008 to get another shot at that. Just hope we don’t elect Hank Clinton or our military will really have a leader they can't get behind…….
- Here’s a neat opportunity for all you literary hounds out there and also fans of the scary and surreal: Stephen King, he of the horror/thriller combination book fame, will be publishing his next work in its entirety in the next issue of Esquire magazine. Now all you guys who just read the magazine for the articles will have something of worth to peruse. The story, which is a novella (short novel), is 23,000 words of pure scary fun, titled The Gingerbread Girl. It tells the story of a girl named Emily who flees to the secluded Vermillion Key off the coast of Florida after the death of her infant child. Unfortunately, her new neighbor turns out to be a raging psycho, and hilarity ensues…..just kidding. Things turn interesting and frightening, and you’ll have to read the story to find out the rest. But I’m looking forward to seeing a ginormous, 8,000-page edition of Esquire jammed into dozens of mailboxes around the ‘hood, that should be interesting.
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