Saturday, June 16, 2007

Why I love baseball, why I hate W. and where I want to go in Switzerland

- Reason #741 to love Major League Baseball: Where else are you going to see a 6’10, Yale-educated pitcher get into a bench-clearing brawl with a 6’5, Gold Glove-winning first baseman? San Diego Padres pitcher Chris Young incited said bench-clearing brawl by throwing a high, tight pitch that ended up near the head of Chicago Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee, plunking Lee high on his left shoulder. Lee began jawing at Young and Young came in Lee’s direction, at which point Young said a magic word and Lee threw a punch at him. The punch missed, as did the return punch Young threw, then it was on. The two scuffled like typical baseball fake fighters before their teammates came onto the field and, in the longstanding tradition of baseball fights, didn’t do much of anything. Guys came out, they grabbed each other, pulled people away from the fight and said mean, nasty, hurtful things to each other, then went back to the dugout to chew some more sunflower seeds. Lee and Young will both be suspended for their actions, they’ll both appeal and in another great MLB tradition, they’ll both drop their appeal at a time when it’s convenient for them to serve their respective suspensions, i.e. when their team is entering a really easy portion of the schedule. Just one more reason to love Major League Baseball………….

- If you’ve been living in mortal terror the past few months (and with that IQ-deprived dolt W. running our country, who isn't terrified?) about the new passport regulations set to be put in place by the government, I have good news for you. There may be a 17-month reprieve on those new regulations, as Congress has come out in support of delaying requirements that would have any American who wants to travel outside the United States by any means needing a passport. That would mean that even if you were only going to Canada or Mexico by car, you would still need a passport. This move by Congress comes after the State Department has been flooded with passport requests in response to the new rules. Personally, I have to agree with Congress here, because clearly the government needs more time to get ready for the absolute onslaught it is going to face when the new rules go into place permanently. Of course, because this decision makes perfect sense and is the right choice, W. and his minions oppose it, so no surprise there. “To oppose anything that is intelligent or makes sense at all,” I believe that’s the administration’s official motto. So take this next year and a half and enjoy the remaining time of freedom you have to make that run to gamble in Windsor or take in a donkey show in Tijuana without needing a passport…..

- Continuing the travel-centric theme of today’s post, I have a new addition to my list of things to experience when I finally make my European Trip O’ Dreams. Officials in Switzerland have inaugurated and opened for business a new railway tunnel, the world’s longest overland tunnel, which spans 21 miles and goes under the Alps. The tunnel took eight years to build and cost $3.5 billion, meaning that it will building a ginormous underground tunnel through the Alps is both cheaper and less time consuming than the debacle, er, war in Iraq. The new tunnel will cut the time needed for trains to cross from Germany to Italy via Switzerland to a measly two hours, down from the 3 ½ hours it took previously. Plus, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that there are some pretty frakkin’ spectacular views to be had while riding on this train.

- It’s always enjoyable seeing bad things happen to bad people, and thus I take great joy in the misfortune now befalling Mike Nifong, the former district attorney in North Carolina who stupidly and erroneously prosecuted the non-existent rape case against three Duke University lacrosse players, a case that eventually saw all charges dismissed because of a totally flimsy and hole-ridden case on behalf of the prosecution. Nifong was the driving force in pushing the case ahead, mostly because he was running for re-election and wanted to use the “progress” in the case as a shiny, sparkly trophy to hold up for voters in the hope that they would ignore the fact that he’s an incompetent moron and elect him to another term. Now, Nifong has been forced to resign from his post and he’s also been disbarred by the state of North Carolina. “My community has suffered enough,” Nifong tearfully sniffled at a news conference. Well, that’s what people get for electing a tool like you to public office, Nifong. They have to suffer for a little while, even though no one deserves all of the absolute nincompoop behavior you exhibited as D.A. A not-so-happy trails to you, M, Nifong, here’s hoping I never hear from you ever again.

- I’m not sure what to make of the current situation involving World Wrestling Entertainment Chairman Vince McMahon. As regular readers know, I enjoy a little WWE action from time to time, so I was indeed watching last Monday night as WWE Raw ended with McMahon getting into his limo outside of the arena and then the limo going up in a giant ball of flame. The WWE is playing this up as if it’s real and that McMahon is actually dead, but they’ve dabbled in this sort of dangerous, death-involved storyline before and it’s all been part of the show, so that’s the assumption I’m going on. It’s hard to believe that WWE would have cameras following Vinny Mac all the way out of the arena and in position for a perfect shot of his limo blowing up if it wasn’t all part of the show. But kudos to WWE for really playing this up, holding fake news conferences asking every to respect the McMahon family’s privacy and flying the WWE flag at company headquarters in Stamford, Conn. at half-mast in honor of the “late” Vince McMahon. For half of a half of a second, I almost kinda sorta believed that this was actually real…………..

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