A lack of patience in Sacramento, good news for Gilmore and what American Karaoke can actually give back

- Either the Sacramento Kings have adopted a much less patient mindset for their franchise or a drunken-driving arrest is now cause enough to fire an NBA head coach after one mediocre season. The Kings have fired coach Eric Musselman after a 33-49 campaign with an aging roster and a paltry supply of talent. Musselman’s failure to transform said deficient roster into a playoff team, coupled with the disgrace he brought upon the organization by getting all molared up and trying to drive on October 20, were enough to end his tenure with the Kings. Musselman had been successful a few years ago with Golden State, but the Kings proved to be too much of a challenge for him. The front office stance on Musselman is that the franchise is reevaluating and refocusing, but this is still an awfully quick trigger finger. Musselman deserved at least one more year; this isn't college football, where coaches need to win and win now before rich alumni run them out of town. Sacto isn't going to be markedly better next year without Musselman, not unless they make major roster changes, changes they could have made with him still onboard.

- Sebastian Telfair is playing the wrong sport. He needs to join the Cincinnati Bengals right now, because he’s wasting his time and criminal capabilities playing with the Boston Celtics. The wannabe thug/gangsta point guard who has never lived up to the ginormous hype he had coming out of high school was arrested in his hometown of the Bronx on Thursday and charged with felony gun possession after being pulled over on a routine traffic stop. Telfair is no stranger to trouble with the law, and he used his criminal skills to the fullest less than a day after his team’s season ended. This dude wasted no time in shifting into full-on con mode, and the Bengals are always on the lookout for guys with that kind of ability. Sebastian might want to slow down, though, because even a man of his skill level cannot keep up this kind of pace throughout the entire offseason. Pace yourself, S., there are a lot of weeks ahead before next season begins and you need to space your felony gun charges, future marijuana possession and other assorted crimes out so you don’t use all your criminal stamina up too quickly.

- Ah, the good old days of Communism and dictatorial rule, where you can be hauled in by the government and interrogated for hours without any cause at all. Russia is making major progress in bringing back those good old days and its government is using Gary Kasparov as its pawn in the process (chess pun intended). Russian security agents brought the 44-year-old former chess champion in for questioning after he had the audacity to take part in demonstrations against the administration of President Vladimir Putin last week. Kasparov rightly pointed out that the government has no basis for criminal charges against him, but in present day Russia, being innocent doesn’t mean you’re safe from harassment and possible arrest. Trying to pin charges of political extremism on the most well-known person in the opposition movement…..hmm….maybe I’m being cynical, but this reeks of political intimidation and scare tactics by the Putin administration. It is reassuring to know that you don’t necessarily need to be effective, competent, fair or smart to rule a country, all you need to do is have the brute force to hold down anyone who opposes you. Putin and W. should start some sort of club for ineffective rulers who refuse to admit what abominations their tenures in office have been………..

- Allow me to dispense some free legal advice here. This offer is in response to the blunderings of one particular individual, but anyone in a similar situation should feel free to put it to use. When embroiled in a bitter custody battle for your 11-year-old daughter, leaving a scathing, threatening voice mail on that child’s cell phone is a bad choice. Alec Baldwin is the culprit in this instance for the blistering verbal scalding he left on daughter Ireland’s voice mail, a message that called her, among other things, spoiled and a “selfish pig.” Baldwin is now spinning this, trying to make amends and rationalize away his tirade, while attorneys for his ex-wife Kim Basinger are trying to make it appear like their client had nothing to do with leaking the recording. This may not be the deciding factor in the judge’s custody decision because all parents yell at their kids and Baldwin didn’t go so far as to physically threaten her, but why would any child want to live with a parent who’s willing to leave that kind of message on their voice mail? Check yourself, Alec, because if this is the kind of parenting you’re employing now while trying to win custody of your kid and show what a good dad you can be, I’d hate to see how you would act if you won and felt like you were no longer under scrutiny.

- Good news and bad news for Gilmore Girls fans like myself. Every report you hear now has the show coming back for an eighth season, but it will almost certainly be a shortened season in the 13-16 episode range. That prospect has fans and critics debating whether the return is a good idea, especially considering the show has had some rough patches this season with the change in executive producers from Amy Sherman-Palladino and husband Dan to David Rosenthal. I’m squarely on the side of an eighth season of any length being a great thing, although it pains me to say that the main reason for this is that so many of the shows on right now are absolute crap and networks seem to be axing good shows at an alarming rate, so any way of keeping one of TV’s best shows on the air is fine by me. This season might not have been consistently excellent and it may have been marred by the same inexplicably idiotic long gaps between the “fall finale”, “spring finale” and whatever other crappy excuse for a one or two-month layoff the networks have given when ripping their shows off the air and returning them at random times this season, but Gilmore is still one of the five best shows out there. Even a shortened season of the Girls next year will be better than nothing.

- Writing while laughing hysterically is difficult to do, what with the near-convulsions and inability to stop rolling on the floor while clutching my stomach because of the severity of the laughter. Still, I’ll try to steady myself and explain in three absurdly funny words: Idol Gives Back. You’ve probably seen the commercials for the next week of American Karaoke shows, which insinuate that the glorified karaoke contest will be giving something back. Allow me to suggest few things AK could truly give back: 1) all the time I’ve had to spend the past three or four years hearing idiots yammer on about the show that’s single-handedly setting music and television back twenty years, 2) the airtime the show has wasted and thus kept from being given to other shows that don’t actually suck, 3) the indignity perpetrated on the American public by making glorified former Laker Girl think she’s famous enough to force her way onto flights and reserve two seats for herself on a sold-out flight, 4) the money the show has suckered from all of the morons who have paid to call in and vote for their favorite karaoke singer/contestant. Those are just a few ideas, but if AK is really serious about giving back, they would do well to start with those four things. If they’re actually serious in thinking they have anything significant, worthwhile and positive to give back to anyone, they’re begging. The best gift they could ever give would be taking their collection of questionably coiffed, athletic balladeering, musically challenged misfits and going away forever.