Airport bathroom sex acts, Toledo football closer to the big time and a musical tragedy

- The rest of the Mid-American Conference needs to pick up the slack and stop forcing the University of Toledo to do this all by itself. By “this” I mean turning the conference’s mid-major label into a thing of the past and seeing the MAC become one of collegiate athletics’ true power conferences. UT got the ball rolling last month when it was revealed that football player Scooter McDougle was involved in a gambling ring with a Detroit-area con and recruited other UT athletes to shave points and fix games. Now, heeding my call for an assault case of some sort as the second step in the push toward true big time status, UT has come through again. Football player Richard Davis has been arrested and charged with attempted aggravated burglary after showing up at what he thought was a teammate’s house with a shotgun in an attempt to settle a dispute between the two. However, this Mensa went to the wrong house and was arrested by a sheriff’s deputy who lives in that house. Davis, the Rockets’ second leading rusher last season, may not be a criminal mastermind, but he does put UT two-thirds of the way to the Powerhouse Football Program trifecta. Add this to the gambling scandal and all you need now is some academic fraud to put your program over the top. I do have to ask exactly what Toledo coach Tom Amstutz is doing with his team, because he doesn’t seem to have any sort of control over these guys nor does he appear to be recruiting athletes who are smart or possess much character. In other words, he’s trying to create a powerhouse and he doesn’t care what he has to do to get there. Good work, Tommy, keep it up.

- Angelina Jolie is not going to be happy about this. Her unspoken mission to adopt a child from every single country in Asia and Africa has hit a snag as the Russian government has put a halt to the work of all foreign adoption agencies in the country. The shutdown, projected to last several months at least, will halt placement of children from one of the most important countries for U.S. families looking to adopt a foreign child. The delay is a result of a new adoption law passed last year that is complicating the registration process. You can do what you want, Russkies, it’s your country, but just remember that you’re the ones who are going to have to look Lara Croft, Tomb Raider in the face and explain to her why she can't adopt little Vladimir or Nadia.

- Dear God, it is getting worse. I thought teaming Jennifer Lopez and American Karaoke was the worst musical idea ever. That still may be true, but there’s a good chance that after this week, when these talentless hacks/glorified karaoke contestants attempt to sing the most offensive genre of music to the ears, country, that things could actually get worse. Even when sung by “qualified” professionals, country music is excruciatingly bad. When sung by unqualified karaoke singers on a pathetic reality TV show….let’s just say the results will be catastrophic. I’ve never watched AK, but I can still make a suggestion to the show’s producers that will surely be beneficial: Don’t make these losers try so many varying kinds of music, because they have enough trouble with the pre-packaged, overproduced pop crap they’re going to be singing anyhow. Cut out the country, Latin, polka and whatever the heck else you have them do and restrict them to the types of music that they have the least potential to butcher. You’re already setting music back a decade by the charade you’re pulling, so please heed my suggestion so you don’t make it worse.

- What’s worse than going to a foreign country and putting your life on the line by fighting in a war that is unjustified and unnecessary? When the army you’re fighting for then shortchanges you on disability pay if you are injured, life becomes that much more difficult. That’s the allegation being made against the Army, rating the severity of injuries suffered by soldiers on a scale that is shady and inconsistent. Allegations made in a recent congressional hearing indicate that the Army may be trying to save money by underrating the severity of soldiers’ injuries. Hearing that truly warms my heart, as it should yours, because what better thank you, what better gesture of appreciation can our government show to those who are injured fighting an abomination of a war created entirely by a warmongering president who refuses to admit his mistakes than to deny them the proper benefits? Do the physicals used to rate the level of injury also include a complimentary punch to the groin, or is that extra?

- Now here’s something I never saw when flying through Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport: public sex acts. I’ve flown through the ATL a few times recently, and not once did I see what police uncovered during an investigation to catch airport luggage thieves. More than 30 people have been arrested in the past three months for getting their freak on in airport restrooms. The reason the cops were surveilling the restrooms was to find luggage thieves who snag items off the baggage carousel and root through them in the privacy of a bathroom stall. Instead, police discovered that there are more ways to pass a long airport layover than reading People magazine and playing computer solitaire. Personally, I don’t understand the appeal of getting after it in a dirty, filthy, disgusting public restroom, but maybe that’s just me. Whatever happened to the Mile High Club anyhow? If you’re going to get some action while traveling, at least make it a noteworthy story like sexing it up in the airplane bathroom at 20,000 feet. The glamour is lost if you have to explain that you hooked up in a skuzzy public restroom on top of a clogged-up toilet and standing on a floor that reeks of urine and ammonia.