College students + alcohol = 2 bad endings

- It is always a huge relief to learn that while your actions may be immature, irresponsible and childish, at least they aren't illegal. Man, if I had a dollar for every time…..umm, like I was saying, the point here is that 11 Naval Academy midshipmen aboard a Carnival cruise ship in the Caribbean were merely lewd and crude but not criminal in their raucous and heavily-intoxicated actions on spring break. The middies had been under investigation after one of the ship’s passengers alleged she and other women were groped and assaulted on the cruise. Also, there were allegations that the 11 men had given alcohol to minors, but investigators ultimately decided that they were just acting like normal, obnoxious drunks on spring break. If I could, a suggestion for the middies: Fellas, you keep this activity on dry land in say, Daytona Beach or South Padre Island, you blend right in with a few thousand other knuckleheads doing the exact same thing. However, take your show on a cruise ship and you’re going to have problems. I know you all will be living on ships once you graduate and join the Navy, but for now, maybe avoid the high seas so you aren't in danger of prosecution and sexual assault charges.

- Alcohol everywhere (maybe it really is still spring break)…..a Rider University freshman is dead due to alcohol poisoning, and (brace yourself) he was a member of a fraternity and his drinking binge took place at the frat house! Isn't that the most stunning news you’ve ever heard? Gary DeVercelly, 18, was rushed to the hospital after drinking heavily at a frat party on the campus of the Lawrence, N.J. school. Prosecutors and police are investigating whether the drinking was part of a hazing ritual or if DeVercelly was just pounding beers of his own accord, but ultimately the end result is the same. While most people enjoy their college experience and use it as a time to go a little crazy, experiment and push the limits, take this as a warning that pounding a dozen beers at a frat party and dying of alcohol poisoning crosses the line between just having fun and being out of control. No matter how many chicks you impress by drinking so much or how cool your frat buddies think you are, cutting yourself off after your BAC reaches .020 is a good idea.

- And we should listen to you because? That’s what the Iranian government has to be thinking after our own intrepid, incompetent leader W. stuck his nose into the current hostage crisis involving 15 British sailors captured by Iranian forces on March 23. The Brits are being held captive by the Iranians, but W. calls their capture “inexcusable” and demands that the sailors be released immediately. Why the leader of America believes that he has any authority or jurisdiction in this matter is unclear and mildly amusing. These two countries have nothing to do with America, other than the British are dumb enough to follow us into ill-fated disasters like the war in Iraq and look foolish right alongside of us. Sticking our noses in where they don’t belong is exactly why much of the world hates the U.S. and why the ugly American label continues to ring true and loud. Again, I feel compelled to ask why our leader is focusing any of his attention on a situation like this while an abomination of a war is going on with thousands of Americans dying, along with the Gulf Coast region still struggling to rebuild after Katrina and

- Leave it to Congress to be in the midst of a discussion about pork-barrel legislation that wastes hundreds millions of dollars and have some of its members go on an Israeli vacation disguised as a fact-finding trip that undoubtedly will be wasting thousands and thousands more tax dollars. A delegation led by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi visited historical landmarks in Jerusalem at the first stop on what they are terming a Middle East fact-finding mission. One question pops to mind when considering this concept: Are you freaking kidding me? Fact finding? For what? What is going to Israel and visiting historical landmarks going to tell you? That the Jews and Muslims don’t like each other and are fighting over the same chunk of real estate because it’s a holy site to both of their religions? Yes, I’m sure the congressional delegation will also meet with some political leaders while visiting the Middle East, but are these short sessions really going to be that informative and groundbreaking? This trip amounts to a free vacation for the legislators, with just enough “business” mixed in to give them a way to defend it as legitimate. Shouldn’t all of you be back in D.C., working on that pesky war-funding bill that’s turned into a giant melee? How about the investigation by Congress into the questionable firings of the eight attorneys general? Think you might want to be there for that as well? I fail to see how the constituents who elected you to Congress are having the interests of their respective states served by you traipsing around the Middle East on a vacation. This is simply another not-so-shining example of Congress at its wasteful, bumbling best.

- I used to subscribe to the theory that even if women’s basketball in general wasn’t all that exciting or interesting, at least when played at its best by top teams, the sport was still fun to watch. Following the two national semifinal stink-fests at the Women’s Final Four, I really can't continue making that argument. If none of the team’s in your Final Four, supposedly your four best teams, can break 60 points, that doesn’t say anything good about your game. Don’t bring me arguments about great defense either, because when one of the four teams, LSU, can only manage 35 points in an entire game, that’s not great defense, that’s just atrocious offense. The point total for all four teams in the Final Four: Rutgers - 59, Tennessee - 56, North Carolina - 50, LSU -35. Average it out and it comes to a neat, tidy 50-point average. Thanks for nothing, women’s basketball, your one chance to be in the national sports spotlight and you lay a huge egg. Now you can all go back to obscurity and make sure to never again come at the rest of us with the argument about how great your sport is.