- Well isn't this convenient? I’m as excited as anyone about the prospect of Roid-ger Clemens beign convicted of steroid-related crimes and being sent to a federal prison, but even with that tantalizing prospect hanging in front of me, I can’t help but be suspicious when convicted steroids dealer and all-around bad guy Kirk Radomski miraculously finds an overnight mail slip for HGH he allegedly sent to Clemens, just lying under his TV when he moved it over the weekend. Radomski is claiming that when his TV broke and he moved it from its place in his entertainment center, he found the mail slips. “Radomski sent a package to Clemens. Apparently, from what we understand, Brian (McNamee) did not sign for it,” explained Richard Emery, attorney for Clemens’ former personal trainer Brian McNamee, whom Clemens is suing for defamation of character. Emery is attempting to use the discovery by Radomski as evidence that his client was being truthful when he accused Clemens of using steroids. That Radomski has already pleaded guilty to distributing ‘roids and is a confirmed scumbag doesn’t seem to factor in as far as Emery is concerned. That Radomski has a reputation for being less than truthful also appears blissfully irrelevant to Emery, who couldn’t care less that a dude serving five years’ probation and paying an $18,575 fine for his crimes is now being used as a key witness to defend his own client’s reputation. Call me cynical, but I’m not ready to buy into these miraculously found shipping receipts just yet….
- Nearly every good TV show may be on summer break, but that doesn’t mean I’m plum out of TV thoughts until September. Most of those thoughts right now are focused on exactly how many lame-ass reality shows will hire former man-bander Joey Fatone of N’Boys Sync Degrees of Town as their host. Seriously, TLC has been blasting viewers over the head repeatedly with promos for Fatone and musical talent-less dancing pop troll Melanie Brown of the Spice Skanks and their new show The Karaoke Office. I’m just trying to watch American Chopper, I don’t need some ex-man-bander with a bizarre chin-strap beard and highlighted hair popping up on my screen every commercial break. Then you hop on over to NBC and who’s hosting that giant bag of freak Celebrity Circus? It’s Fatone again. The dude is like the bubonic plague, only way more irritating and slightly more ubiquitous. I wasn’t going to watch Wee Man on the trapeze or Antonio Sabato Jr. on the high wire anyhow, but mixing in Fatone makes it a slam-dunk. NBC does have one summer series I’ve enjoyed, Last Comic Standing. I didn’t expect to like the show, but when it so blatantly panders to mean 18-34 by selecting audiences for its comic shows that consist of a ridiculous percentage of hot chicks with fake racks, how can I not love it? Seriously, I’ve been to comedy shows and you’re lucky if there are five girls that hot in the same row. Last Comic Standing has five of them in every row, it’s uncanny. Factor in that some of the comics on the show are really funny (including Iliza, my fave this season) and you’ve got some good viewing. I do have to wonder about the bizarre decision to have the show’s elimination voting ceremony in a cemetery; it’s weird, it’s creepy and what the hell does it have to do with comedy? Yes, whoever is eliminated for the episode is “dead” on the show, but that’s true of all reality shows and I don’t remember Big Brother or Amazing Race rocking graveyard scenes for eliminations. Other than that, LSC is a pretty solid show and one I’d recommend giving a chance, Thursday nights at 9 o’clock.
- Sorry to point this out for all my Southern friends, but according to the government, you are exceptionally…FAT! For a region that has no shortage of hot Southern chicks, the southeastern corner of our fine nation somehow manages to lead the nation when it comes to obesity. According to a new government survey released Thursday, Mississippi, Alabama and Tennessee are lapping the rest of the nation when it comes to being fat and disgusting. According to the study, more than 30 percent of adults in each of the three states are considered clinically obese, ensuring that the South remains the nation's fattest region. On the other end of the spectrum is Colorado, with only 19 percent of its population fitting that category. When you combine that with Colorado being the best educated state in the nation, Coloradoans may start developing a definite superiority complex. Of course, when your state is a frozen tundra much of the year, you need to burn any excess fat to stay warm and it’s so freaking cold and snowy that staying inside to study is one of your only options. But I digress….this study was done randomly by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and its findings are similar to results from the same survey the three previous years. Mississippi remains the king of fatness, as the state has had the highest obesity rate every year since 2004.
Alabama, Tennessee and Louisiana have been closing the gap in recent years, but once again they were unable to track down Mississippi. Listening to Dr. William Dietz, the head of CDC's nutrition, physical activity and obesity division, tried to explain the obesity levels in the South by blaming the traditional Southern diet, which is high in fat and fried food. Dietz also blames two groups for contributing to the high obesity rates - rural residents and black women -- because both are groups that tend to have higher obesity rates. You may be asking yourself, how is obesity defined? Well, it’s based on the body mass index, a calculation using height and weight. A 5-foot-9-inch adult who weighs 203 pounds would have a BMI of 30, which is considered the threshold for obesity. And if you’re honest, seeing a person of that height and weight in public, you’re crafting your best fat jokes and are more than a little depressed about having to look at their flabby physique. So put down to barbecue ribs, pork, grits, deep-fried chicken and chitlins, Southerners, because you all are giving the rest of the world even more of a reason to label all Americans FAT, a label some of us don’t deserve.
- It wouldn’t be a presidential election year if there wasn’t blatant fear-mongering, would it? I say no, which is why I’m not surprised that idiots like Mike Meehan are out there, spreading their message of hate, bigotry, small-mindedness and reckless speech. Meehan is the a-hole responsible for three billboards across Orlando that take one of the worst days in American history and attempt to capitalize on it in a senseless, shameful manner. The billboards each show the Twin Towers burning and read ‘Please Don’t Vote for a Democrat’. After despicably attempt to make political gains off the deaths of hundreds of innocent people, the billboards then direct people to a website which promotes a political song, written by Saint Cloud resident Meehan, who also has a music video for the tune. Showing the lack of imagination and intelligence that was probably very helpful in concocting the plan for these lame-ass billboards, Meehan has also titled his song “Please Don't Vote for a Democrat.” As you might expect from a confirmed bigot and piece of crap like Meehan, he’s trying to use the excuse that this battle is about his First Amendment rights and his freedom of speech. His website refers to what he calls “the dangers of liberalism” and Meehan says the Democrats “only want to focus on the economy. They do not want to focus on the war.” Hey a-hole, in case you missed it, the Democrats do want us to focus on the war. They simply want us for focus on ending an unjustified, unethical war based on a foundation of lies and untruths instead of focusing on extending it indefinitely and costing this country hundreds of billions of dollars it can't afford to spend, which is what your beloved GOP wants. And hey, what would a story like this be with a shameless attempt to cash in on the deaths of those people in the Twin Towers for personal financial gain? Yes, the song that Meehan wrote in less than an hour (Really? A masterpiece like that and it only took an hour? Shocking), is being sold online for five dollars a pop. OMG. Hey ass clown, iTunes only charges $0.99 per song, how the hell can you justify a 400 percent mark-up for your piece of crap song? Freedom of speech, my ass.
- Maybe T. Boone Pickens was right when he called our nation’s Great Plains region and the geographical center of the United States in general the “Saudi Arabia of wind.” Pickens is the oil magnate who has made literally billions in his life and donated hundreds of millions of those dollars to his beloved Oklahoma State University. He’s now embracing the concept of alternative energy sources, with wind power being the center of his new focus. Utility officials in the state of Texas appear to agree with Pickens because they’ve given preliminary approval to a $4.9 billion plan to build new transmission lines to carry wind-generated electricity from gusty, rural West Texas to urban areas like Dallas. It’s refreshing and exciting to see a state embrace the idea of renewable resources and harnessing power from something like the wind, which is always there, doesn’t need to be created and doesn’t do any damage to the environment when you harvest it. Props to you, Texas, for being the first to take a step of this magnitude in the right direction on such an important issue.
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