- We’ve known it’s coming for a while now, but the end of Jay Leno’s run as host of The Tonight Show now has a definitive end point. Leno’s final show will be on May 29, 2009 and after that, his future with NBC is uncertain. NBC has stated that it would like to keep Leno with the network, but as of yet he hasn’t decided what’s next for him. Conan O’Brien is lined up to take Leno’s place beginning in June 2009, with Jimmy Fallon entering the late-night game behind him by taking over O’Brien’s spot as host of Late Night. Fallon will actually get a head start on his new gig by hosting short, Internet-only shows beginning in March or April. Personally, I moved on to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report long ago, so this switch doesn’t affect me that much. Still, this looks like a huge step down in quality for NBC, as I’ve never been a huge fan of O’Brien’s bizarre humor and Fallon….umm, he’s not that funny. A few decent SNL skits here and there and a Pepsi commercial wherein you dance on the top of a car don’t qualify you to be a late-night TV host….
- Maybe Brett Favre really is the ignorant, simple country bumpkin that he purports himself to be. Depending on who you believe, Favre allegedly used a Packers-provided cell phone to make illegal phone calls to Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress. The Vikings had already been accused of tampering with Favre, whose saga of retiring and unretiring has taken the NFL hostage at this point. Because he’s still property of the Packers, no other team can talk with Favre about his contract status or his coming to play for them unless the Packers give permission. So allegations that Childress and Favre have been chatting it up on a cell phone the Packers actually provided for Favre…that’s freaking hilarious. Anyone who has ever watched more than two minutes of 24 or CSI knows that you can find out who someone has talked to on their cell phone and when in no time at all. At this point, there are differing reports as to whether Favre even has a cell phone issued by the Packers, so this may turn out to be a moot point. That being said, I hope it’s true. How could it not be funny for this guy to be such a moron that he would use that cell phone to so blatantly violate the rules in a manner that all but assured the Packers would find out? Boy, you’re really handling this whole situation like a pro, Brett. Well done!
- What’s not awesome about criminally sabotaging the career of a co-worker because you’re jealous of them? Who doesn’t love hearing about some bitter schlub who just can’t outdo the person next to them and thus commits felonies in order to get the advantage that their own skills and performance can’t get them? Enter fired newscaster Larry Mendte of Philadelphia, who just couldn’t get over the adulation and praise that popular co-anchor Alycia Lane received. So what did Larry do? He hacked into Lane’s email account at the station, poring through hundreds of her personal emails or the course of two years. He then leaked some very personal information about her and ultimately brought about her personal and professional downfall. Now neither of them is with KYW-TV, but whereas Lane’s disgrace more or less ends there, Mendte now faces criminal charges as possible prison time. Way to go, Larry. As always, hope that was worth it, you tool….
- Better you than us, Denmark. This week, Danes are subjected to one of the more unpalatable groups of losers in this world - a group of 140 Santa Clauses for the World Santa Claus Congress. Yes, there is a World Santa Claus Congress. The undereducated, bitter losers who slam on a white beard, red suit and pillow on their belly to fill the role of St. Nick at local malls around the world are gather for a three-day conference at a park north of Copenhagen. There, they will discuss important issues like…..like….what to do if little Timmy or Pablo barfs on your pants? What is the age limit for a girl to be able to sit on your lap and it to still be appropriate and not in violation of sexual predator laws? Do these dudes have teambuilding exercises where you do a relay race with packed sacks full of toys? Are there trust falls involved? I’m actually kinda curious about this now…but that still doesn’t mean this would be any less lame if it were taking place here in the United States.
- What a proud day this must be for you, residents of Detroit. Your mayor, the one and only Kwame Kilpatrick, continues to make his city look so good by having two criminal charges against him amended by Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy, who is now accusing the mayor of lying about other previously unreported extramarital affairs. Kilpatrick was already facing charges for lying about an affair with his then-chief of staff, but apparently that wasn’t the only affair he was hiding. Spokeswoman Maria Miller declined to comment other than to say that one perjury charge was changed to reflect allegations the mayor lied about affairs with “others.” Who those “others” are has not been revealed, although presumably they’re not the same Others that occupy the island on “Lost.” I could be wrong on that, but I doubt it. Also tacked on to the case against Kilpatrick is a misconduct in office charge that has been changed to accuse Kilpatrick of cutting a secret settlement to hide his text messages not only to cover-up his lying under oath, but — as the new information charges — to keep other embarrassing information in the messages secret. This guy is a real piece of work - having multiple secret affairs, sending incriminating text messages, trying to bribe and coerce people to cover up his misdeeds - and Detroit has to be pumped to have him as its mayor. This mess all began when it was reported in January that Kilpatrick and his then-chief of staff, Christine Beatty, lied under oath last summer during a police whistle blower trial when they denied their sexual relationship and gave misleading testimony about the firing of a police official. Two months later Kilpatrick and Beatty were charged with multiple counts of perjury, obstruction of justice, conspiracy and misconduct in office. These amended charges don’t add more criminal counts against Kilpatrick; they just modify and amplify the existing ones. Again, how psyched would you be to live in Detroit right now? Your highest-ranking city official is Kilpatrick and the guy running your country is a lying, warmongering mental midget, W. Sucks to be you right now, residents of the D.
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