- Why am I not surprised that when W. finally reached the point where he had to start negotiating a timetable for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq, all he would approve was a vague timetable? With the Iraqi government rightly pressing the U.S. to get the hell off their soil (nice of you to finally work up some indignation over that, Iraq - only five years in the making), the United States has magnanimously agreed to a “general time horizon” for the withdrawal. Look at W., he doesn’t even have the testicular fortitude to call it a timeline, he makes up some generic, ambiguous term like “general time horizon.” Don’t be fooled; this isn't a hard and fast declaration of what should be declared, that we need to vacate Iraq ASAP because we’ve never had a right to be there. It’s more of a symbolic gesture to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, but at this point even a symbolic gesture is an improvement. Democrats - including presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama - rightly hailed it as an overdue recognition of the need to bring the Iraq war to a close. The decree comes as the U.S. and Iraq negotiate a security agreement to provide for the housing of American and coalition troops on Iraqi soil beyond the end of the current agreement, slated to expire at the end of 2008. At this point, this mess is a matter of perspective and for those of us desperate to see this abortion of a war end, any step at all towards that noble goal is a good one.
- Fans and pundits are awfully critical of athletes who don’t have a plan for what to do with their lives once their playing career is over. Making the transition from active competitor to ordinary citizen can be tough, especially if the athlete didn’t attend or complete college. That being said, I’d like to take a minute to salute professional boxer and junior welterweight contender Edgar “El Camacho” Santana for his business interests outside of the ring. Yes, Santana was just arrested along with 11 compatriots for taking part in an international cocaine trafficking ring. Yes, he allegedly conspired with these other individuals to smuggle cocaine from Puerto Rico to New York, where it was then sold for a tidy profit. Narcotics detectives seized several tons of blow and $450,000 in a raid and you have to wonder what this does to Santana’s Aug. 6 bout against Ali Oubaali in the main event of an ESPN2 broadcast. His 24-3 record won't do him much good in fighting these drug charges, bur why not look on the bright side? Here is an athlete who not only knows what he wants to do with his life after boxing, he’s already doing it. So what if his choice of business endeavors is importing illegal narcotics? Are we going to allow one small detail like that to ruin an otherwise encouraging story? Props to you, Edgar, for having a plan for your life….
- No one is surprised that the new Batman movie “The Dark Knight” literally lapped every other movie out this past weekend. That the film had multiple times the amount that the amount the other top 12 movies made combined isn't a stunner either. Still, I don’t think too many people predicted these jaw-dropping box office totals of $155.34 million for the weekend. It is literally the best opening wekened for any movie, ever. Anywhere, any time, any genre, any weekend of any year. The next closest film was actually a hugely disappointing one from a cinematic quality standpoint. In May of 2007, “Spiderman 3” brought in the previous record of $151.1 million. That’s not the only earnings record “The Dark Knight” set, either. The film also brought in the best IMAX debut mark of $6.2 million, again topping “Spiderman 3”, which raked in $4.7 million last year. The best part of this is that this is truly a great, rich, layered and well-written movie with good acting AND good special effects. It has all of the components and in spite of the dorks who dressed up in Batman costumes and drove their own homemade versions of the Batmobile to see midnight showings on opening night, it was an awesome first weekend for Batman.
- Here’s a bit of hip-hop mathematics for you: DMX = S-C-U-M-B-A-G. That lesson is brought to you by rapper DMX, who in spite of being a millionaire several times over apparently feels that he’s not obligated to pay his own medical bills. The rapper, whose real name is Earl Simmons, went to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Ariz. in April and ran up a $7,500 bill. Because one of the most popular rappers in the game just doesn’t have enough Benjamin’s to pay that bill, Simmons gave a false name and social security number when he was admitted. Whoops! That kind of mistake can happen to anyone…..assuming that they too are looking to get some free medical care and lie out their ass. Ironically, this case began when police were investigating Simmons for animal neglect at a home he owns in the area. That investigation also led to felony drug possession charges, so my man DMX is working hard to build his street cred here. Three arrests on serious and diverse charges within the span of a few months is good work, bro. Hang on, what’s that? I’m short-changing DMX? He was also arrested at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport this month on outstanding warrants after failing to appear in court on other charges against him? Wow….I’m not even upset. I’m impressed. That’s amazing. Now I’m wondering how this dude has any time for his musical career, what with his burgeoning career as a jack-of-all-felonies criminal. Hope you have a great team of lawyers, DMX, you’re going to need them.
- This sounds eerily familiar. A presidential election in which no one wins. It happened late last week in Nepal, where none of the three candidates in the election won enough votes from the 594-member Constituent Assembly to be elected. One candidate needed to win at least half of the votes to become president, but the three of them split the votes equally enough that none had a majority. Why does that sound familiar? Because in the United States, we also have had elections where no one won, both in 2000 and 2004? Yes, we got a president out of both elections, but that doesn’t mean anyone won. The country lost because we’ve been saddled with an incompetent, inept, intellectually stunted, arrogant mental midget for the past seven and a half years. The economy lost because it’s been on its own personal Bataan death march ever since W. took over. Our military lost because thousands of them have been sent to die in a place they never should have been. Iraq lost for the obvious reasons, i.e. it’s been overrun and occupied indefinitely but a rude nation that just won't leave. Even W. himself lost, as the world at large has seen what an ass clown he is, how incredibly stupid he is and that he has worse approval ratings than any president ever. But take solace, Nepal, in the fact that all three of the candidates in your election are assuredly more competent than our guy. A runoff election between the two top candidates will now take place, meaning Nepal may have a president by week’s end. Here in the U.S., we’re strapped with our albatross of a leader until January….
No comments:
Post a Comment