Monday, July 14, 2008

"Meet Dave" meets a disinterested public, Pakistan takes a stand and how referees might be biased

- You f’ing rock, Pakistan. While the rest of you may not think you have much reason to love a rugged, Third World nation in central Asia, I contend that we all have reason to love and admire this great country. Why? Because Pakistan actually has the balls to tell the United States and the rest of the world where to get off, that’s why. American policy under W. has basically become that we’ll invade anyone, anywhere at any time for no valid reason and with no actual evidence. Furthermore, we won't leave even when the country we invaded doesn’t want us there any more. To that end, our leaders have repeatedly “offered” U.S. troops to strike at terror networks operating within Pakistan’s borders, especially the mountainous border the contry shares with Afghanistan that is believed to be the current region of choice for Osama bin Laden. Yet Pakistan has told our government thanks, but no thanks on the troop offer. “Our government’s policy is that our troops, paramilitary and our regular forces are deployed in sufficient numbers,” declared Pakistani Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi declared over the weekend. “Any foreign intrusion would be counterproductive. People will not accept it. Questions of sovereignty will come in.” Amen to that, Shah. Don’t worry, not all Americans believe that we should be the world’s police, barging in to cram our military might down the throats of nations we have no authority over, whether they like it or not. Better yet, the a-hole who does believe that more strongly than anyone is leaving office in January and taking his brain-dead minions with him. So stay strong, stay sovereign and do your thing, Pakistanis….

- Maybe you’re right, rabid sports fans. Maybe the ref is biased against your team - it just may not be for the reason you think. According to research done by Norbert Hagemann and colleagues at the University of Münster, Germany, the color worn by an athlete might affect the decisions made by referees. In order to test their theory, Hagemann and his fellow researchers showed 42 referees from the martial art of taekwondo video excerpts from sparring rounds between athletes of similar skill levels. In each video, one competitor was dressed in blue, the other in red. The referees judged each clip on their own, assigning points for the attacks made. After they had recorded their scores, they then watched the same bouts, in a different order, except that the video had been digitally manipulated so that the colors worn by the competitors were reversed. In other words, combatants wearing blue now appeared to wear red, and vice versa The team found that referees gave 13% more points to red competitors, even when the performances were exactly the same.
Hagemann says that it appears the colors have a subconscious effect on referees, so maybe your favorite team is getting unfair treatment from the refs and it’s not even intentional. Changing your team colors to red, dark red and maroon might be the best option. The interesting thing here is that in many competitions at the upcoming Olympics, including wrestling and martial arts, competitors dress in red and blue. Looks like there could be a brawl in the locker room to decide who gets to wear what color….

- I’m guessing that the bar brawl Josh Brolin, Jeffrey Wright and five of their co-stars from Oliver Stone’s upcoming movie “W” got into Saturday night in Shreveport, La. is not that big a deal. Yes, these seven were arrested and spent part of the night in jail before making bail. Yes, they were allegedly involved in a massive fight with other patrons that resulted in a few injuries. But just as was the case when Darryl Hannah got popped buying coke a few weeks back, there’s likely a reasonable explanation for this. Just like D. Hannah, I’m guessing that Brolin, Wright and Co. were just doing research for an upcoming role. That’s a popular excuse when an actor or actress gets arrested for doing something stupid and illegal. “I was just doing research for a role,” they try to tell everyone. So to the owners of the Stray Cat bar in Shreveport and to those that Brolin and his buddies may have assaulted, let’s not blow this out of proportion. These guys were just doing some field research for a future role, not a major thing…..

- It’s time for a very special edition of….wait for it…..RIOT WATCH! RIOT WITCH! Party time, excellent! Today’s riot watch brings us to that most unpredictable and tense of riots, the prison riot. It’s a miracle that prison riots don’t happen more often than they do, given the combination of violent, desperate, nothing-to-lose criminals crammed in confined spaces with one another and guards that they don’t like. Tensions build and sooner or later, you’ve got a freaking riot on your hands. One such riot took place Saturday in Dublin, Ireland, where 50 prisoners at the city’s central prison barricaded themselves into a remote area of the facility for about two hours. Guards in riot gear and packing batons and riot shields stormed the area, taking it back from the inmates. Why did the inmates take this action, basically a prison sit-in? Because the jerks who run the prison have the audacity to run the place like a freaking prison, that’s why. Prison officials have been taking steps to deter drug trafficking in the complex and the prisoners were none too happy about it. They’re in prison, dammit, and they need their drugs. It’s bad enough sleeping on uncomfortable beds in cold, dank cells with cellmates they don’t like. They eat the same bad food every day, they can’t watch TV, surf the ‘Net or go to a ballgame. The least you can do is permit them to traffic illegal drugs inside the prison. Yes, drugs are what brought many of them to prison in the first place, but what are you trying to do here, reform them and help them turn into productive citizens fit to reenter society? Oh…that IS what you’re trying to do? Never mind…..

- I really hate to see a great movie, a true piece of cinematic achievement, flop at the box office because the movie-going public just doesn’t grasp how awesome it is. What does that have to do with the new Eddie Murphy stink bomb “Meet Dave”? Absolutely nothing of course. That abortion of a film was the biggest turd of the weekend at $5.3 million, a take even lower than anyone could have expected after seeing how atrocious the film really is. The total ranked fourth on the earnings list for the weekend, behind the debut of “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” at a modest $35.9 million. The sci-fi flick starring Ron Perlman as a demon fighting for good may not be a great film, but next to piles of steaming, stinking monkey poo like “Meet Dave”, it’s freaking “Gone with the Wind” and “Citizen Kane” rolled into one. Another temperamental superhero finished second for the weekend as “Hancock” brought in $33 million to push its domestic total to a cool $165 million. Coming in third was the Brendan Fraser 3-D adventure “Journey to the Center of the Earth.” Not a stellar weekend at the movies, but every weekend can’t be a winner even during the summer blockbuster season.

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