- Stories like this may not surprise me any logner, but they still piss me off just as much. Political correctness and a nauseating niceness have permeated our youth sports culture in the United States to the point that many leagues in various sports don’t keep score because they idiotically believe that doing so would irreparably damage the self-esteem of the kids on the losing team. Every child gets a trophy, even if they suck and can’t compete with the other kids on a reasonably competitive level. No child is told that they aren't quite good enough and need to improve. That moronic thinking has hit a new high (or low) in Beechwood, Ohio, a wealthy suburb of Cleveland where it’s being proven that money can’t erase stupidity. The mayor of Beechwood and the Beechwood Little League have canceled the all-star game for 9-to-12-year-olds because they fear that having all-stars wrongfully excludes those kids who aren’t all-stars and would damage their self-image. Mayor Merle Gordon sent a letter to parents of children involved in the Little League program stating the city was canceling the All-Star games based on information provided in an article written by the founder of the National Alliance for Youth Sports, Fred Engh. The article suggested that All-Star games take away from sportsmanship and hurts the self esteem of players, especially younger player.
In the article Engh states, “There’s nothing like sticking a dagger into a youngster’s self-esteem the first season he plays the sport by letting him know that he’s not good enough or considered worthy to be part of this elite group of teammates. That’s not the message we want to send to children who are already less active and more obese than any previous generation in history.”Oh my freaking God, are you kidding? Guess what, people: some kids are good players, some aren't. The kids know it, they see it for themselves. They follow professional sports where there are all-stars and they know what that means. Heaven forbid they’re told that someone out there is a better baseball player than they are. No way do you want to challenge them to improve so that next year, they can earn that all-star designation for themselves. Just make them believe that they’re okay as is, no need to try and become better. You think they don’t know other players are better when Timmy crushes three home runs over their head in the outfield and they strike out every at-bat? You people are idiots of the highest degree and we’re fortunate that a Little League is all you’re in charge of…..
- Ah, the taxing duties of law enforcement in rural northern Alabama. One brave deputy in Capshaw, Ala. showed his courage and bravery Sunday when a woman driving on U.S. 72 in northern Alabama spotted a goat and a dog playing with each other near the road. She stopped because she was afraid the animals would get hit, but when she did the goat jumped on the car and wouldn’t come down. It was at that point the woman’s concern turned from the goat’s well-being to the well-being of her beloved Mercedes. Fearing scratches and dents in the car’s paint job, she called the Limestone County Sheriff's Department. The courageous deputy stormed onto the scene, grabbed the goat and put it in his patrol car. No word on whether the goat resisted and had to be Tasered, but hopefully not because calibrating the right strength of a Taser blast for a goat is an inexact science. When the goat was apprehended and put into the patrol car, his friend the dog jumped into his back seat too. The deputy took the dog to a veterinarian and the goat to the home of another deputy who has a farm. The sheriff’s department is asking anyone in the area who has a goat missing to call them because the goat is unable to make bail on its own. Ultimately, what’s most important here is that the good people of Limestone County feel safe knowing that such vicious threats to society are being taken care of thanks to the bold efforts of their sheriff’s department. Well done, guys!
- Have college athletes become a lot dumber in the past few months or are they just bigger lushes than they used to be? It seems like 4-5 times a week that we’re hearing about a college athlete (usually a football or basketball player) getting busted for DUI. University of Louisville receiver JaJuan Spillman just got hit with his second DUI/drug possession charge in 18 months this past week, but he had good company because two players from other major programs were either getting hammered and driving or pleading guilty to such a crime. In Wyoming, Mich., University of Michigan running back Kevin Grady was arrested early Wednesday morning and will be arraigned next week on a misdemeanor drunken driving charge. According to police records, Grady was released on a $5,000 personal recognizance bond and is to be arraigned July 9.
If a Big Ten player commits a crime like that, you know the SEC isn't going to sit idly by. The SEC is intent on proving its superiority to the Big 10 on the field and off, so Tennessee punter Britton Colquitt stepped up for his school and conference by pleading guilty Monday to drunken driving charges. He’ll spend 24 hours picking up litter and lose his license for a year, both small prices to pay when people are counting on you to show what conference is No. 1. Colquitt’s drunk driving came on Feb. 17 when he was charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. Officers who stopped him said he admitted to drinking and driving as well as hitting a parked car and a tree stump, causing more than $400 in damage. Dude, you know you’re out of control when you show such reckless disregard for the welfare of a tree stump. Get yourself together, B. So all in all, not exactly a banner week for college athletes, more specifically college football players. I get that college kids drink a lot and being immature and irresponsible is part of the gig, but
- Iran is a major threat to the world, they’re part of the “axis of evil” and they need to….receive a tenfold increase in goods imported from the United States? Huh? W. has been pounding the drum about Iran being the next great threat to the world with its nuclear ambitions and assistance to terrorist groups, yet under his inept leadership exports of American goods to Iran have gone up tenfold. The main exports include undergarments, cosmetics, cigarettes, bull semen, fur clothing and musical instruments. Among those items, the only one that’s not a big issue is cigarettes. After all, importing death sticks is the most powerful weapon we can possibly unleash on a country. Those addictive cancer sticks will inflict pain, suffering, leather faces and green skin on a country in ways nothing else could, so give Iran all the cancer sticks they want. Our country has done just that under W.’s watch, shipping $158 million worth to Iran to make cancer sticks our single biggest export to Iran. Predictably, W.’s administration is trying to spin its actions in upping exports while condemning the country they’re exporting to. “Our sanctions are targeted against the regime, not the people,” explained Adam Szubin, director of the Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign Assets Control. Right, because in a country like Iran, with a vicious dictator in charge, the imported goods will just go right to the common man who needs them. The government will in no way look to interfere or benefit from them, sure. This is in no way a hypocritical, contradictory stance by an administration that has taken a never-ending series of hypocritical, contradictory stances since it came to power in 2000. At least they’re consistent….
- This couldn’t possibly end up as anything other than a disaster. The team of the Material Skank (a.k.a. Madonna) and the train wreck known as Britney Spears has already produced a lame-ass music video for Spears’ abortion of a single Me Against the Music in 2003 (I don’t know if anyone won that battle, but I know that music lost. In fact, music was brutally beaten and murdered, as it is any time Spears attempts to create anything musically) and the pair’s kiss at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards that was as pathetic a publicity stunt as you’ll ever see. But now these two talent-deprived pop tarts are preparing to join forces once again as the Material Skank heads out on her Sticky & Sweet tour this fall. Apparently dressing up like cowboys, dominatrixes, futuristic whores, etc. just isn't enough anymore and the MS needs Brit to record a mystery video of some sort to be used on the tour. The Material Skank’s publicist is being cryptic about the nature of the video (unless it includes Brit signing an ironclad contract forbidding her from ever recording or touring again, I’m not interested), saying it’s “a secret.” Let’s go ahead and assume that’s code for “it blows and it’s lame.” Normally I give you Albums to Avoid, but in this case it’s a Tour to Avoid. If this tour is scheduled to come to your town, start picketing and protesting outside the venue now. Make signs, banners and stage rallies and marches from now until the day of the concert. Organize fundraising drives to buy up al the tickets and then burn them. Then, on the day of the concert, construct a soundproof barrier around the venue and then get in your car, driving as far and fast from the city as possible. The atrocities begin on Aug. 23 in Cardiff, Wales and aren't scheduled to come stateside until October. You have some time on this one, but it’s a major menace so you’ll want to start soon.
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