- It’s an age-old question: are those really cops that just busted down the door at your party or are they strippers dressed as cops? There’s no real way to tell, because as much as it may appear that the hot female cop with a 36-D rack and pretty smile is a stripper, there’s always that 1 in 1,000 chance that she really is a police officer. Same goes for that chiseled, blue-eyed guy with a square chin who you’re sure is there to take off his uniform and shake his groove thing. Some partygoers at a private birthday bash in western Germany were faced with this conundrum Sunday and they wrongly assumed that the officers were in fact strippers. Two officers arrived at the home shortly after midnight to quell the raucous party and were greeted by several women who believed that they were hired beef. “It took a while to realize they were police officers,” explained a police spokesman. Perhaps it should have been a tip-off that no one at the party had ordered strippers, but I’m guessing that, based on the location of the party (Germany) and the fact that the cops had to be called, most of the people at the party were probably fall-down drunk by that point anyhow. Now there’s a clip I wouldn’t mind seeing on YouTube, those plastered women trying to get two real-life cops to take it off…..
- Where’s the United States Congress I know and love? Oh, there it is! Whew. I was concerned that amidst all of the wrangling over war funding, jamming as much pork-barrel legislation through as possible and having its members either running for president or focused on their own upcoming reelection bids that maybe Congress had forgotten how to cook up a good bribes-and-corruption scandal. Thankfully men like Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska are still roaming the halls on Capitol Hill, every bit as corrupt as any congressman has ever been and doing his best to stay that way. Stevens was indicted by a federal grand jury Tuesday on charges that he lied about receiving more than $250,000 in gifts from an Alaska-based energy company on whose behalf he lobbied and intervened in Washington. In a 28-page indictment, the grand jury charges the senator with seven counts of making false statements on his Senate financial disclosure forms. Stevens is charged with “knowingly and willingly engaging in a scheme to conceal….his continuing receipt of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of things of value.” He allegedly received home improvements paid for by Veco and its chief executive officer Bill Allen that included a new first-floor garage, a first-and-second-story wraparound deck, new plumbing and new wiring. Additionally, Stevens was given a new 1999 Land Rover worth $44,000 by Allen in exchange for $5,000 and Stevens’ 1964 Ford Mustang, which was worth less than $20,000 at the time of the exchange. Awesome, just awesome. This is the kind of governmental corruption we’ve come to expect from our nation’s elected representatives. Thank you for helping us get back to the values and standards our nation’s legislative system was built on, Ted Stevens….
- So the Brett Favre hostage crisis took its next painful step forward today. I call it a hostage crisis because Favre is holding the entire NFL world and specifically the Green Bay Packers hostage as he plays his nonstop game of retirement chicken. Yesterday the self-centered gunslinger officially submitted his reinstatement papers to the league office, meaning he will be placed back on the Packers’ active roster and can report to training camp. The debate rages on as to whether the team can work out a trade for Favre or if general manager Ted Thompson and the front office have the stomach to handle the massive circus that will ensue when Favre arrives in camp and takes his new position as the team’s backup quarterback. The irony all of this is that if Favre had never brought up the “R” word and just kept playing year after year, giving no indication that he was considering retirement, everyone would still love him. The only reason the team has moved on and many around the football world are ripping him for being selfish and indecisive is because after every f’ing season for the past 3-4 years, Favre has waffled on whether he’ll be back for another season. If he had just said he’d be back not held tearful retirement press conferences, this situation would be much better and much less contentious. As is, Favre is ruining much of the goodwill he built up over the years and I’ll remember him much more for this whole debacle than I will for anything he did on the field….
- Who knew that people who make board games for a living could be such cantankerous dicks? Hasbro Inc., which owns the North American rights to Scrabble, has been waging war against two Indian brothers who created an unofficial online version of the game that became extremely popular on Facebook. Rajat and Jayacut Agurwalla live in Calcutta, India and they developed a Facebook application called Scrabulous. Like other user-developed applications on the social networking site, Scrabulous is free to play and has been attracting nearly half a million players per day, making it one of Facebook’s most popular games. That only seemed to further enrage Hasbro, which first pressured Facebook to suspend the application, without success. After being shot down by the site, Hasbro turned its attention to the Agurwalla brothers and the end result was a lawsuit filed this week that finally convinced them to shut down access to Scrabulous in the United States and Canada. Not helping matters is the fact that earlier this year, video game maker Electronic Arts Inc. released an official, Hasbro-approved online version of Scrabble for Facebook and the legit version has been getting its ass kicked on a daily basis by Scrabulous. The official version has been betting an average of 15,000 players a day, dwarfed by the 500,000 playing Scrabulous during the same time frame. The truth hurts, doesn’t it Hasbro? But that’s no reason for you, the maker of board games and good times for the whole family, to behave this way. You should be jolly, whimsical and fun-loving; instead you’re bitter, surly and lawsuit-filing. Shame on you for your crotchety, bitter ways…….
- California is stepping up the attack on a large percentage of its residents being FAT. With the state’s ban on using trans fats in cooking now on the books, the Los Angeles City Council is undertaking its own assault on obesity. The council voted unanimously on Tuesday to place a one-year moratorium on building new fast food restaurants in the impoverished South Los Angeles area. Obesity in this portion of the city is at an alarming high, with 30 percent of adults considered clinically obese. That’s compared to 19.1 percent in the city’s metropolitan area and 14 percent in the upscale Westside area. It’s a great idea, preventing fast food joints from building new restaurants so the city can try to bring in eateries serving healthier fare, but there may be a hole in this line of thinking. Did the council consider that people in South L.A. are fat not because they’re eating worse food, but rather because they can’t afford to buy expensive gym memberships and exercise equipment like those living in the city’s wealthier areas? People in South L.A. can't afford liposuction either, nor can they pay for a Pilates class or a personal trainer. Their exercise comes more from trying to outrun the mugger who is attempting to steal their wallet or chase down the city bus before it pulls away from the bus stop. I appreciate the sentiment and I’m always all for anything that can be done to make America less FAT, but I just don’t know how effective this new measure will be towards that end…..
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