- Is there a part of preparing for the Olympics that the Chinese aren't having a problem with? They have black, soot-ridden, polluted air that is so toxic and unhealthy that athletes are preparing to sport surgical masks in Beijing or skip events entirely out of fear for their health. Then there’s the obscenely bad traffic that is contributing to the polluted air and making it über-difficult to get around the city. Venues for many events still aren't finished and ones that are have structural designs that look like they were created by a drunken, stoned Robert Downey Jr. after an all-night bender and working in tandem with a colorblind third grader with toxic vertigo. So the last thing the Games needed was massive, red-alert algae infestation in on the coast of the city set to host the Olympic sailing events. Reports are now circulating that a ginormous infestation of blue-green algae has developed in the waters off the coast of the port city of Qingdao, host city for sailing events. A virtual forest of blue-green algae is clogging the coastal waters, blanketing beaches and lying in thick layers along sailing routes. Ironically, the city actually chipped in $750,000 for the right to host the sailing events, yet they are unable to keep their waters from cramming up with so much algae that the nasty little buggers are starting to reach up onto the beach. Nothing says Olympic event quite like waters to rife with algae that boats can barely pass through and the beaches are overrun with the creatures. Not surprisingly, this particular species of algae tend to develop and thrive in waters that are heavily……polluted! Who could have seen that coming? Polluted water in China? No way! Is there anywhere in your God-forsaken country that isn't polluted? How is everyone in China not dead or dying at this point? They breathe toxic air, they drink polluted water and they eat food grown or bred in that toxic environment, so how are any of them still alive? Predictably, Chinese officials are offering up their usual slate of excuses and promises that everything will be fine by the time the Games begin in August. They say they’ll need at least two weeks to clear coastal waters, and plan to do so by mobilizing10,000 workers aboard 1,000 boats. A slight loophole in their plan seems to be figuring out how to block other algae from drifting in, but I’m sure that’s a minor issue. You have to wonder if anyone could have seen this mess coming, if there had been other instances of….what’s that? You say that China has had a number of similar outbreaks in recent years, mostly on inland lakes, largely as a result of severe pollution from industrial sources, farm chemicals and domestic sewage and that along the coast, red tides of microscopic algae have forced fishing industry shutdowns? Oh. Best of success in cleaning up the 5,000-square-mile area currently infested with the algae, China. Could be problematic if athletes show up to compete and 32 percent of the coastal area set aside for the Aug. 9-21 sailing events is unusable….
- Not the best start to a big divorce trial for Peter Cook, the estranged husband of former supermodel Christie Brinkley. Nothing has been proven yet - well, other than the fact that Cook seduced an 18-year-old woman he hired to work at his Hamptons architectural firm and is thus a confirmed piece of crap - but in his opening remarks for the case, Brinkley’s attorney claimed that Cook spent in excess of $3,000 a month on porn websites during the couple’s marriage. This is actually one of those Ron Burgundy moments where I’m not even angry….I’m impressed. I mean, how do you spend $3,000 a month on porn sites? I haven’t exactly priced memberships to fetish and freak sites lately, but those things can’t be more than $30 a month, right? At that rate, you would need memberships to 100 of them to reach the $3K mark. Even if you were enough of a degenerate to have that many porn site memberships, how would you have time to make use of all of them? You’d have to visit those sites non-stop, 24/7 and even then you still wouldn’t have time for all of them. Hearing the details of this part of the case should be interesting, to say the least. If I’m the judge, I’m going to have some reservations about awarding custody of two children - a 13-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter - to a guy who seduced a barely legal girl and blew more money on porn sites (allegedly) than most American earn a month. Diana Bianchi is the girl Cook had the affair with and Brinkley only learned about it from Bianchi’s stepfather. This would be why you want to think carefully before 1) having an affair with a girl who is just out of high school, 2) blowing $3,000 a month on porn websites and 3) engaging in bitter divorce proceedings with your soon-to-be ex-wife. Have fun with the trial, P. Cook, I know I will….
- The message is really getting through. I feel confident in saying that abusive, overbearing, murderous Zimbabwean leader Bob Mugabe and his henchmen, er, government officials are understanding what the rest of the world is so angry about in regards to Mugabe thieving his country’s runoff election by threatening and killing members of the opposition and driving his opponent from the race with a campaign of terror. How do I know this? Because while at an African summit in Egypt, a spokesman for Mugabe was asked about his boss’ response to the heavy, continuous criticism from the Western world and his response that they can “go hang a thousand times.” Mugabe and Co. have been equally adamant that they will not step down nor negotiate any sort of coalition government to include the opposition. In other words, we have more power, resources and we’ll f’ing kill you if we have to, so no thanks. As much as I hate to admit this and pretty much never advocate violence, Bob Mugabe seems like the kind of man who only understands someone going upside his head with a bomb or shotgun blast. That may be where someone would need to go to oust him. Not advocating anything, I’m just saying….
- Nothing says running a great charity that supports a good cause and doing so with class quite like a dine and dash. Alonzo Mourning will never be accused of being the friendliest, most charismatic guy and he is nothing if not a shameless shill for his many causes, but you’d think a guy with that much money would make a point of paying his bills. That would seem to not be the case, because a Las Vegas casino has filed a lawsuit against the NBA and Mourning’s charity seeking payment on a convention bill dating to the 2007 All-Star game. Wynn Las Vegas claims NBA Entertainment, NBA Properties and co-defendant Alonzo Mourning Charities have failed to pay a $50,000 bill for convention and meeting space and related services used during the 2007 NBA All-Star weekend. Whoops. Don’t you hate it when you forget about a $50,000 bill and it ends up in a lawsuit? According to the Wynn, it entered into an agreement with NBA Entertainment for use of the resort’s hotel and convention space during the February 2007 event. The suit contends that the league then authorized the charity to use some of the convention and meeting space for a fund-raiser, according to the lawsuit. That’s where Mourning came in, as it was his charitable foundation to benefit victims of kidney disease that put on the function. It’s a great cause to be sure and I’m glad Zo is out there working on its behalf; I just think he could do so while also paying his bills. Not doing so make you look like a classless jerk and someone who is trying to skate on a bill he should be able to pay with money rattling around behind his sofa cushions. Settle the debt and pay your bills on time instead of letting them slide for a year and a half and forcing those to whom you owe money to sue you…….
- Fear not, theater lovers. With the prospect of another Broadway strike looming, theater (or theatre for the snobbish types) producers and the union representing Broadway actors reached a tentative deal Wednesday on a new contract. After the strike by stagehands and theater workers that shut down Broadway for three weeks in November, another strike within eight months could have been disastrous. The new deal covers 39 months and expires in 2011 and would increase the compensation packages for actors - including pensions and health benefits - by 11¼ percent. The Actors’ Equity Association and the Broadway League had been negotiating around the clock all week, hoping to avert another work stoppage. So if you’re heading to Manhattan and hoping to see your favorite Broadway show in the months ahead, it appears that your main problem will be scoring good tickets at a reasonable price…..
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