- We’ve all had THAT roommate. They’re sloppy, messy,
inconsiderate and they never pony up their portion of the rent on time. In some
cases, the situation becomes so untenable that you have to take the unfortunate
step of asking them to move out. That often goes badly, but rarely does it
include said roommate refusing to vacate the premises and instead unleashing a
reign of terror and hell fire on your dwelling that becomes so severe you feel
the need to bug your own apartment with secret cameras to document her
chicanery. Enter University of South Carolina student Hayley
King, who was arrested after her roommates set up a camera and caught her
spitting and putting window cleaner in their food. In what sounds like the
actions of a low-wage restaurant worker who takes offense to a diner sending
back their steak because it’s supposedly undercooked, this heinous b’otch
decided to take several containers of food out of a refrigerator and either
spit in them or spray window cleaner into them. According to investigators,
King’s roommates set up the camera because they had several arguments with her
and she refused to leave their off-campus apartment. One of her roommates
allegedly ate out of one of the containers before seeing the video and believed
the food had been tainted. They then set up cameras, got their proof and with
it in hand, Columbia police questioned King about the allegations and she
allegedly confessed. She is now charged with unlawful, malicious tampering with
human drug product or food and if convicted, she would face up to 20 years in
prison on the Class C felony charge. But hey, men of Columbia, odds are that
she’s single and could probably use someone to shack up with………..
- Shut your mouth, LucasFilm president Kathleen Kennedy. Kennedy has
either been living in a cave or at least avoiding anything remotely resembling
a movie theater for the past few years because if she had been in the general
vicinity of any local multiplex or even a Red Box location, she would be
astutely aware of the cinematic abortion that was 2008's “Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal
Skull.” And if she were aware of that tire fire of a film, she would not
be dropping heavy hints that a new Indiana
Jones film will be made "one day.” For those who managed to avoid
“Crystal Skull,” it featured an aged-out Harrison Ford and a totally
overmatched Shia LeBouf in a lame-ass bastardization of one of the best movie
franchises of the past half-century, one that ended with aliens inexplicably
being thrown into the mix when they made unequivocally no sense. So yes, Disney
acquired the Indiana Jones
franchise alongside Star Wars
when it purchased LucasFilm for $4.06 billion in 2012, but that doesn’t man it
needs to keep Indiana Jones alive. Let the beast pass peacefully, Kathy. Yet
there this kook is, saying a new Indiana
Jones film "will one day be made inside this company.” "When
it will happen, I'm not quite sure," Kennedy added. "We haven't
started working on a script yet, but we are talking about it." The word on
the street is that Disney is planning to revive the franchise with “Guardians Of The Galaxy” star Chris
Pratt replacing Ford and if that sounds like a bad idea, that’s because it is.
Pratt may be able to play an archaeologist-type character in the new “Jurassic
Park” movie,” but asking him to be Indy is a bit too much. Oh, and “Crystal
Skull” may have banked $780 million worldwide, but it still sucked and no
amount of money can ever change that. Lastly, someone is going to have to fell
Ford he’s out because as recently as 2013, he insisted that he could still star
in another Indiana Jones film
despite being old as dirt………..
- Idiots are everywhere, world. Some of them live in
Brazil and one of them is a bit too fixated on looking like a certain fictional
character who plays a prominent role in Marvel’s new “Avengers: Age of Ultron.”
The idiot in question is Brazilian bodybuilder Romario Dos Santos Alves, who claims
he is often labeled a monster or a beast and sometimes terrifies children with
his freakish appearance. What makes him different from any of the other
millions of protein-loading, ‘roid-shooting, muscle-shirt-wearing bros around
the world who believe that 24-inch pythons and poppin’ pecs are the way for
them to impress the ladies and show how totally awesome they are? How about the
fact that this ass hat is addicted to injecting his muscles with oil and
alcohol in an effort to look more like his favorite superhero, the Incredible
Hulk? Yes, the man who is Bruce Banner when calm and becomes a 20-foot-all,
green monster in curiously flexible purple shorts when enraged. In his quest to
resemble The Hulk, Alves said he first injected his muscles with synthol, which
is a mix of oil and alcohol. He began that wholly unhealthy practice three
years ago in a quest to make his muscles larger and it technically worked, as
his s biceps eventually grew to 25 inches. Amazingly, using this terrible
substance began causing him constant pain and several health problems due to
the toxins in the oil and even more amazingly, it also impacted his mental
health and his relationship with his wife. Arguably the most astonishing part
of the whole story is that this knob even had a wife, but the crazy do need
love too. He narrowly averted disaster when at one point, a doctor told him he
would have to amputate his arms. For now, his arms remain affixed to his body,
but maybe it’s time to start injecting something that increases intelligence
and adds brain cells rather than muscle mass……….
- He’s the sexually harassing roach you cannot kill. Isaiah Thomas is
the man who killed the Continental Basketball Association, ran one of the NBA’s
most storied franchises into the ground while also racking up an eight-figure
sexual harassment lawsuit, made a mess of a Division I basketball program and
is now headed, of all places for a confirmed harasser of women to go, to run a
WNBA franchise. Thomas has become president and part owner of the New York
Liberty of the WNBA, the team announced Tuesday, officially reuniting him with
the man of whom he must have mountains of damning photos and/or evidence of
billions of dollars in shady financial dealings, James Dolan. Dolan reluctantly
let Thomas go in the aftermath of a 2007 sexual harassment scandal and has
desperately been seeking a way to bring him back, including an attempt to sign
him to a consulting deal despite a horrific track record as the Knicks’ coach
and general manager. He found that way through the basketball backwater that is
the WNBA. "I am honored to have the opportunity to lead the New York
Liberty and help the franchise reclaim its position as one of the elite teams
in the WNBA," Thomas lied in a statement. In his new role, Thomas will
preside over both basketball and business operations for the Liberty, which
along with the Knicks are owned by Madison Square Garden chairman Dolan. Dolan’s
obsession with Thomas borders on the disturbing even if he is, in this case,
reuniting the Hall of Fame point guard with his former Detroit Pistons teammate
Bill Laimbeer, head coach and general manager of the Liberty. The funniest part
of all of this is Thomas insisting he is only involved with the Liberty and not
the Knicks, which is so clearly a lie that it’s almost not worth addressing.
Look for he and Dolan to come up with code words to allow them to discuss
Knicks business when pretending to talk about the Liberty, perhaps even assigning
every Liberty player a corresponding Knicks’ player’s name so when they mention
Rebecca Allen, they’ll really be breaking down the future for Knicks star
Carmelo Anthony……….
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