- Get off your lazy ass, Belarus. Your authoritarian
government has put up with enough of your sloth-like tendencies and The Man
isn't going to tolerate your idleness any longer. As per a new law passed this
week by parliament, folks who work less than half the year will have to
pay the government for their laziness. Tha’ts right, if you don’t care enough
to work for at least 183 days, the government is going to turn youinto even
more of its b*tch than you already are. The parliament passed the proposal by authoritarian
President Alexander Lukashenko mandating that work-capable people who work less
than 183 days a year to pay a yearly fine of $250. This will obviously spawn a
cottage industry of doctors and scam artists looking for loopholes and ways to
have themselves or people willing to pay for their help declared unfit to work.
There are exceptions for disabled people, pension recipients and people with
young children, so adopting a small child or just having a kid for the sake of
not having to work – hey there, American welfare recipients! – are also viable
options. A statement from the parliament, where the measure passed by a vote of
100-2, said "it's necessary to stimulate citizens who are capable of work
and ensure they fulfill their constitutional obligation to take part in
financing state expenditures." Labor Minister Marianna Shchetkina tried to
soften the blow by informing parliament that the measure would be temporary and
was needed because Belarus' economy is faltering in the wake of economic troubles
in neighboring Russia. Motivations aside, it’s clear that this is a show
of force by a government with a lot to lose………
- There isn't a top receiver or defensive back in the NFL
who will openly admit that there is anyone faster or physically freakier than
them in the league. It’s simply hardwired into these dudes’ DNA to believe that
their quicks are quicker than anyone else and in part, that helps them do their
job on the field. That makes Minnesota Vikings receiver merely the latest to proclaim himself the
NFL's fastest player. Wallace, who was a major disappointment in Miami after
signing a five-year, $60 million contract in 2013, is now balling in the frozen
wasteland that is Minnesota but seems to have brought his confidence to the
Land of 10,000 Lakes with him. "Without a doubt, I'm the fastest player in
the NFL," Wallace said.. "If somebody feels foggy about that, we can
[race]. I'm never going to back down from competition.'' Being willing to race
anyone in the league to prove your speed supremacy is the ultimate false
bravado because there is zero chance anyone is ever hopping a plane to actually
take part in that race. Wallace lied and said his personal best in the 40-yard
dash is 4.21 seconds, which would be faster than the best time ever posted at
the NFL scouting combine. That mark belong to the amazing disappearing former
NFL rushing leader Chris Johnson (4.24 in 2008). Arguably the best part of
Wallace’s tale is that he clocked a time of 4.33 in the 40 at the 2009 combine,
so as he’s aged he somehow managed to shave .12 seconds off his time. "I've
run a lot of routes and I've got a lot of miles on my legs, but I still feel
that there's nobody who can run with me,'' Wallace added. "I might have
slowed down a little but I could still run 4.25.'' Bro, how do you “maybe slow
down a little” from a 4.33 40-yard dash and get to running a 4.25? That makes
no sense, but playing in Minnesota after being swapped from Miami can't be a
lot of fun, so if claiming you’re the fastest man in the NFL makes you feel
better about yourself, so be it…………
- It seems Pizza Hut has a new market opening up to its
pepperoni-ringed enterprise. Sure, it can sell all of the overpriced pizzas,
calzones and cheesy garlic bread it wants, but there could be real money in serving
as a clandestine facilitator for the reporting of hostage situations in
domestic settings. Their inspiration in this endeavor is Highlands County (Florida) resident Cheryl Treadway, who used an
online Pizza Hut ordering form to send a covert message claiming her boyfriend
was holding she and her children hostage. Treadway sent a secret message asking
for help in an online pizza order to the Pizza Hut in Avon Park Monday
afternoon. A red flag was raised immediately because let’s face it, no one is
ordering a pizza in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, and when Treadway
asked for employees to call 911 in the comments section of the order form, the
employees did what minimum wage earners ordinarily never do and sprung into
action. The employees alerted police and when deputies arrived at the home,
Treadway opened the door and told police that her boyfriend, Ethan Nickerson,
had a knife. The fact that this kook had a knife and was allegedly holding his
lady and her children hostage but allowed her to order a pizza and answer the
door when police arrived suggest that he may not be a top-notch criminal, so
after deputies escorted Treadway and a child to safety, Nickerson was arrested.
Two other children in the home were not harmed, according to Highlands County
Sheriff’s Lt. Curtis Ludden. Nickerson was charged with aggravated assault with
a weapon without intent to kill, battery, false imprisonment and obstructing
justice by depriving communication to law enforcement. After allegedly holding Treadway
all day until she convinced him to let her order pizza on her smartphone……….
- This one cuts. It cuts like a freaking knife. Right into
the soul of perfect musical kismets where all things awesome and long overdue
reside. Ryan Adams, indie rock veteran and icon for the fringes of the
mainstream musical world, has often been confused with hacky Canadian rocker
Bryan Adams. Their music shares little in common, but 13 years ago, an audience
member attending a Ryan Adams show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville yelled
a request for Bryan Adams’ well-known track “Summer of ’69.” That request went
unfulfilled and Ryan Adams later said that such hecklers were "a bunch of
f*cking c*cks." "They come to my shows just to provoke me. I had to
go into therapy because of whole Bryan Adams 'Summer Of ’69' thing," he
said at the time. Yet time and age have allowed him to gain some perspective on
the matter and 13 years later, he returned to the Ryman and played the song he
claims to despide. It was a wonderful moment of music coming full circle and in
response to that gesture, Bryan Adams has promised to cover a Ryan Adams track
in return. "Ryan [Adams] wrote to me to tell me the day before that he was
going to do it," he said. "I think it was some sort of cathartic
release for him to return to that venue and play that song, as you probably
know the story there. So I think in some ways, he has been haunted by the song
somewhat, which is a shame because it’s a really great song. Anyway, I’m happy
he did it. He’s a great artist. And sure I’d sing one of his songs. I’m not sure
which one, though.” It’s a great moment for Bryan Adams, who hasn’t been
relevant in a couple of decades and could use anything that will get his name
out there again, even for a fleeting moment………..
No comments:
Post a Comment