- Who’s got the monkeys? Police searching
across France for 17 stolen endangered monkeys would love an answer to that
question and not simply because the AWOL apes could fetch tens of thousands of
dollars on the black market. Seven golden lion tamarins and 10 silver
marmosets, all owned by Brazil, were stolen over the weekend from the Beauval
zoo south of Paris, according to the zoo’s director. Stealing monkeys that
belong to a foreign country makes this an international incident and let’s just
say that Rodolphe Debord is very anxious about rectifying this wrong. "It's
an outrageous theft. These are extremely fragile animals that need specific
care," Debord said. This was no low-end theft, either; zoo officials detailed
a sophisticated break-in during which a group of thieves cut through a glass
window to steal the monkeys. Police are reviewing surveillance footage of the
incident, but time is of the essence because of the delicate palates of the tamarins,
which have specific dietary requirements. Time is likely also of the essence
for the thieves because these magical monkeys can fetch between $5,600 to
$11,240 each on the black market and stealing seven of them could net close to
six figures depending upon the buyer. “There are two possibilities. Either a collector
or the black market for new types of pets," Debord said. The third option,
and the one the zoo and police are clearly hoping for in this case, is the
quick arrest of all involved and the safe return of all 17 animals to their
domesticated homes as soon as humanly possible……….
- Gwar are about the biggest freaks in a world full of
weirdos. The shock rockers known for their over the top costumes and
prosthetics on stage, mixed with some of the darkest, heaviest rock you’ll ever
hear and a fair share of on-stage nudity go to some freaky places, but
apparently they’ve found a place they are no longer willing to go. That stance
has led the band to fire Kim Dylla, known for playing the role of Vulvatron, for reasons
that remain murky at best. Dylla was brought in as a member of Gwar in 2014
after Dave Brockie, aka Oderus Orungus, died of a heroin overdose, and word on
the street is that her ouster is for behavior that band members feared was
trending in Brockie’s dangerous direction. Dylla’s departure was confirmed on
May 8 with a statement from the band, but while someone else takes on her role
in the band, she’s fighting back against rumors she was fired for drinking too
much. "Kim did a great job, but we wanted to go a different direction with
the Vulvatron character. You will absolutely see more of Vulvatron in the
future, just not portrayed by Kim,” band member Brent Purgason wrote in a
statement. “There is no ill will, no acrimony, and no drama. We respect Kim’s
talent without question, it just isn’t what we needed in the character."
Dylla responded in a Facebook post in which she defended her drinking and
claimed she didn’t know about her firing until reading about it online. "Yes,
I drink beer. Almost every day. Find me a group of metal musicians who think
that is weird," Dylla wrote. "No, I don’t perform incapacitated and
never have. Yes, I can handle my sh*t. No, I don’t do drugs. Yes, I broke my
rib and kept singing through the rest of the set and the crowd never noticed.” She
concluded that people should never get famous because “it sucks.” Meanwhile, the
search for her replacement goes on and the band is set to mark its 30th
anniversary this year……..
- New York City is all about fashion and looking good. You don’t
need to tell that to the three well-dressed, armed bandits who burst
into a luxury Manhattan jewelry store and left on foot with bags of expensive
watches. Technically you could tell that to one suspect who was arrested and
now can sit back and watch as police seek his two cohorts, but he’s probably
not in the mood to hear it. The über-bold heist occurred in broad daylight at
the Tourneau store on Madison Avenue in a busy section of midtown, with all
three suspects dressed in nice suits that belied their purpose of ripping off
the store for tens of thousands of dollars in jewelry. The trio burst in and
fired a warning shot into the floor before smashing open a display case with a
hammer and scooping the watches into duffel bags they brought with them. Steve
Davis, the New York Police Department's chief spokesman, confirmed that two
suspects remain at large and said that as the men fled, a second shot was fired
toward the back of the store. Thankfully, none of the four employees and one
customer inside was injured and following a 911 call, plainclothes police
officers spotted the men around West 57th Street and gave chase. They tracked
down the slowest of the three and recovered one of the bags and went about studying
security videotape from inside the store and on the surrounding streets to aid
their search for the remaining suspects. Whenever the two at-large suspects are
finally apprehended, they should at least make for some well-dressed mug shots………
- Good to know that everyone involved with the Gareth
Bale-Real Madrid situation is doing their job as the good Lord intended. Bale
is running around on the pitch not scoring goals and looking like an overgrown
5-year-old brat whose mom made him play soccer before he can have his Capri Sun
pouch and orange wedges, Bale’s agent is lighting up his teammates for not doing their part to
make his high-priced superstar client a success on the field Real Madrid coach
Carlo Ancelotti is ripping Bale’s agent for trying to cause disharmony in his
locker room by agitating on behalf of his client. After critics noted
sarcastically that the $150 million striker touched the ball fewer times than
Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas during a 2-1 defeat in the first leg of the
Champions League semifinal at Juventus, agent Jonathan Barnett decided he
needed to defend his client…by claiming that the real problem was that Bale's
teammates do not give him the ball enough. In a sense, it’s exactly what agents
do because their priority is their client and promoting him above all else, not
making sure there is harmony within the team and encouraging positive
relationship within the locker room. Barnett did his job, Bale did his by
taking a massive check and delivering no goals while earning that money and
Ancelotti did what he needed to do by advocating on behalf of his team and
bashing the agent trying to rile folks up. Ancelotti said in his pregame news
conference ahead of the second leg of the matchup that everyone was happy with
Bale's displays this year and snapped that those outside the locker room shut
their mouths about topics they knew nothing about. All in all, it was far more
exciting than anything that will happen on the field at any point during the
entire Champions League schedule, or in any other soccer league around the
world at any point this year or any other year………
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