- Alabama fell well short in the inaugural College Football
Playoff championship game. The Crimson Tide were embarrassed by Ohio State and
clearly has lost its spot as the sport’s dominant program, so the question for
Nick Satan, er, Saban this offseason was to make sure his team did what it
needed to do to retake its spot at the top of the Division I mountain. Clearly
for an SEC team, that means one and only one thing: more police blotter
entries. Saban’s players received the message and they’ve stepped up big this
spring. Alabama
cornerback Cyrus Jones did his part when he became the fourth Crimson Tide
player to be arrested this spring after he was charged with two counts of
third-degree domestic violence, according to the Tuscaloosa County Jail
website. This isn't some third-string scrub, either; Jones started all 14 games
during his junior season and now he’ll be missing some action after he was held
on one count of harassment and one count of criminal mischief. Both charges are
classified as misdemeanors, so he’ll likely get a one-quarter suspension
against one of the Division III foes Alabama likes to schedule at the beginning
of the season, but at least Saban released a canned statement denouncing the
incident. . "We don't ever condone any behavior that shows any kind of
disrespect," Saban said in a statement. "There was no physical
contact in this situation. Once we get the facts, we will take the necessary
steps to correct this behavior in the future." According to police,
officers responded to a domestic call and determined that Jones had taken and
damaged a woman's cell phone earlier in the day and threatened to assault her
in front of a witness, placing him on the blotter alongside Geno Smith (DUI),
Tyren Jones (possession of marijuana) and Jonathan Taylor (domestic violence)
this spring. Tide pride, y’all……….
- There is an art to skipping jury duty and a man who skipped the final stages of jury selection in the Boston
Marathon bombing trial is an amateur at it. Jose Gutierrez of Lawrence made it
through the initial rounds of jury duty, which is clearly where dude went
wrong. The real professionals in jury duty avoidance know that you don’t
even show up for the selection process and odds are that no municipality is
ever going to bother tracking you down or trying to force you to do your civic
duty. If they do cal you out for flaking, you simply claim you never got the
summons in the first place and they can't prove a damn thing because they don’t
send those notices via registered mail. Sadly, Gutierrez made the mistake of
showing up and when he skipped jury service March 3 so he
could go to work, he got nailed. Federal Judge William Young found that
Gutierrez intentionally violated his obligation to serve as a juror and
sentenced the wayward citizen to 40 hours of community service with a $400
fine. The judge went stickler for the rules by pointing out that 1,300 other prospective jurors complied
with their obligation to appear in court for the trial of bomber Dzhokhar
Tsarnaev and told Gutierrez he should
be "ashamed" of his decision. Part of the blame here has to go to a ttorney
Hank Brennan, who represented Gutierrez, and came up with nothing more than
saying his client reported for the first two rounds of jury selection, but did
not attend the third round because he felt he needed to go to his job as a
medical interpreter that day. "He had young patients he felt wouldn't get
the care they needed that day if he wasn't there," Brennan said. "At
the time, he thought he was making the right decision, but knowing now that he
affected the (jury selection) system, he knows now that he made the wrong
choice." No, he made the right one, just two rounds of jury selection too
late………..
- Sam Smith needs fans to stay with him…and accept either a
full refund for those tickets they have to one of his four scheduled shows in
Australia or hang onto them and hope he comes back around. The British soul singer had four shows in front of him but will
be singing at none of them after being diagnosed with a hemorrhage to his vocal
cords and ordered to stop performing until he's healthy. Not only were those
four gigs axed, but so was a scheduled appearance Sunday night at the TV
industry's annual Logie Awards. "I
am deeply, deeply saddened to tell my Australian fans, I have to cancel my
Australian tour," Smith
wrote in a message posted on Instagram. "I have been vocally exhausted for
a while now however last night
in Sydney I had a small hemorrhage on my vocal cords. The doctors have told me I need to fully rest until my
vocal chords have healed, otherwise this could become a huge long-term issue. I am so sorry to all
who have bought tickets, I truly am. This kills me." Sadly, it seems like
only last Saturday that Smith began his tour at Brisbane's Riverstage and only
Monday that he played the first of two dates at Sydney's Hordern Pavilion….,
mostly because it was. His throat problem is a common one for singers and
snipered sold-out shows in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. Word on the
street is that another tour to the same places is being worked out for December
and that’s a good one because Smith’s album “In the Lonely Hour” finally
reached No. 1 in Australia this week after nearly a year on the national albums
chart. Verrrrry current of you, Aussies. The album’s only been out for more
than a year, but you finally came around to liking it enough to push it to the
top of the charts. The fate of Smith’s upcoming Asian tour is also up in the
air, but here’s hoping those vocal cords come through in fine form and allow
him to keep belting out “Stay With Me” for many months to come………
- Eff the Fourth of July. May 1 is where it’s at for
declaring and celebrating independence and the delusional kooks of Liberland
know the truth. If you don’t remember, Liberland is the fake "micro-nation"
on the bank of the Danube River, theoretically established between Croatia and
Serbia. It’s fronted by Vít Jedlička, a Czech libertarian politician who claims
to have found a plot of land left unclaimed in the 1990s border settlement between
the two nations. He and his sycophants a held their own version of Independence
Day Friday, christening "Liberland" as a 2.7-square-mile country
where taxes are optional and freedom reigns. It sounds like a failed Fox
reality show with more liberal economic policies and on this special day, dozens
of would-be citizens traveled by boat to Liberland to toast its birth. “We will
start to settle Liberland during the 1st May 2015 morning, and the first 100
honorary citizenships will be granted to the first people arriving,” Jedlička said
in a statement prior to the festive event. “Food will be available, as well as
a great atmosphere, beer and flowers.” Jedlička, who is a member of the
Conservative Party of Free Citizens in the Czech Republic, is the
self-appointed president of the new free republic of Liberland and he claims
international law allows his claim over the terra nullius—or literally “No
Man’s Land.” He and his staff have been working to set up their fictional
nation not only in terms of how to govern a place that isn't real, but also to
develop a marketing and branding plan. So far, they’ve crafted a flag, coat of
arms, national anthem and an in-progress map to lay out Liberland’s borders. Hell,
they’ve already managed to get themselves recognized on Google Maps and in
2015, that’s damn close to official. If you believe Jedlička, architectural
firms from his hometown of Prague have offered to assist in developing infrastructure
and urban planning. A whopping 300,000 people from around the world have
applied for citizenship in Liberland, according to Jedlička, so let’s see where
this freak show goes from here……….
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