Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Russian hockey is klassy, FAO Schwarz peaces out of Times Square and begging for money for a Tupac movie


- Normally, architects and engineers are total dweebs you do not want to end up stuck talking to at a holiday party. But just when you think they couldn’t be a bigger bunch of socially irredeemable dweebs who make “The Big Bang Theory” look like “Sons of Anarchy,” they go and do something like this …. And totally redeem themselves. Enter Polish architect Krysztof Kotala, who wants to build an underwater tennis court in the place where all exhibitions of ridiculous excess and opulence go to grow to fruition – Dubai. Kotala wants to erect his monument to “why the hell not” just off the coast of Dubai. His design firm, 8+8 Concept Studio, has released some badass proposed designs of the court. The estimated dimensions of the project are staggering, as it would likely require a 108-foot-wide glass pane as its centerpiece when the standard glass pane is around 32 feet. Just looking at the images of this beast of a building, it certainly seems like more of a novelty than a place where a high-end tennis tournament would be held. After all, it’s tough to imagine Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer being cool with tossing the ball overhead for a serve, looking up as they make contact and seeing a 15-foot-long shark smashing into the glass directly above them. Oh, and there’s also the chance that there could be a leak or massive crack in the glass and everyone inside could drown, so that should probably be considered as well. But for a city that is already home to the world's highest tennis court – sorry, any tennis court featuring a match between Snoop Dogg and Wiz Khalifa – it could be the next evolution in absurdity………


- It’s time for another chapter of “Who’s Begging You To Give Them Money To Finance Their Vanity Project?” and today’s contestant is Gobi M. Rahimi, the director of several of Tupac Shakur’s last music videos including, '2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted' and 'Made Niggaz.' Rahimi has launched a crowdfunding campaign to make a film about the late rapper, not to be confused with the other Tupac movie in the works. On his Indiegogo page, Rahimi is billing his project as "the true story of Tupac's last seven days" and all it will take to make his dream of making money off the death of Shakur a reality is $300,000 to und the film's pre-production, shooting and post-production costs. "I was waiting for Tupac at club 662 in Las Vegas after the Mike Tyson fight on September 7, 1996,” Rahimi wrote in his post. “I was informed by rapper Nate Dogg that Tupac and Suge Knight had been shot and taken to University Hospital. I immediately rushed there to be by Tupac's side. This was the first of an emotional 7 days that I sat guard over Tupac who was in an induced coma, riding the line between life and death. 7Dayz is the story of my experience at the hospital amidst death threats, undercover FBI informants and an uncooperative Police Department." His pitch about why he wants people to give him money rather than try to sell the idea to a studio is beautiful, as he claims it’s "to prevent it from becoming another watered down Hollywood film" and to "give you the opportunity to see this story in its most uncensored and truthful manner, the way Tupac would have wanted it." Actually, here’s thinking that Tupac probably wouldn’t have wanted you gravy-training his passing to make a movie for your own benefit, but what the hell? Regardless, Rahimi is struggling to reach five figures in donations and with about six weeks left to reach that $300,000 target, this isn’t looking good……….


- A piece of American tourist history is about to be no more. Yes, the FAO Schwarz toy store in midtown Manhattan will close its doors this summer, leaving the 153-year-old brand without a retail outlet. Toys “R” Us Inc., which owns the store in the heart of Fifth Avenue across from the Plaza Hotel, is shuttering the store because of rising rents and is in the process os seeking a new location in Manhattan for the business. However, a new location likely wouldn’t open for at least a year and in the meantime, the company is trying to find jobs for the store’s 200 employees at its other shops in the region. “The company is committed to the FAO Schwarz brand and growing its legacy,” Toys “R” Us said in a statement. “While we are sad to say goodbye to our current location, we are excited about the opportunity to create a new flagship location in New York City that will no doubt delight generations of children to come.” Toys bearing the FAO Schwarz name still will be sold in Toys “R” Us stores and online because, well, capitalism. The Fifth Avenue store opened almost three decades ago, so it hasn’t exactly been around since World War II or anything truly historic, but it does routnely draw in gobs of tourists who figure they haven't really seen Manhattan unless they pose with wildly overpriced toys they have no intention of purchasing. The store became famous after being featured in the 1988 hit film “Big” when actors Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia danced on a giant toy piano spread across the floor and that spawned a massive tourist trap for children. FAO Schwarz has been around since the Civil War and it isn't going away officially, with its next possible stop a below-ground space at 1633 Broadway, a 48-story skyscraper at Broadway and West 50th Street, just north of Times Square……..


- Stay classy, Russia. It’s great to see that a respected, quality nation like the Communist hell hole formerly known as the U.S.S.R. can not only compete at the highest level of international sporting competition, but it can respond like a bunch of spoiled brats whose travel baseball team loses to its biggest rival in the last tournament of the summer when it gets its ass kicked in competition. Witness the commendable display the Russian team put on after getting b*tch-slapped by Canada 6-1 in the Ice Hockey World Championships title game in Prague, a display so disrespectful that Russia now faces punishment from the International Ice Hockey Federation. Canada, which pretty much owns the rest of the world in the areas of denim, round bacon and mullets per capita in addition to hockey, had just finished curb-stomping the Russians and were doing what champions do, namely receiving their trophy and listening to the joyful sounds of their national anthem being played. The Russian team, on the other hand, opted to head for the dressing room before the trophy presentation and the playing of the Canadian anthem and that is klassy with a “k.” IIHF president Rene Fasel said he "rather upset" by the Russians leaving the ice and that "some sort of punishment" would be handed down and this whole mess has already with Russian Sports Minister Vitaly Mutko passing the buck like he was just handed a piping-hot potato fresh out of the oven by blaming tournament organizers for opening a gate in the boards. Mutko tried to claim this was viewed by the Russian team as an invitation to leave because clearly, no one opens a gate at a hockey rink unless someone is supposed to step through it. Next time, come up with a better excuse for being a bunch of classless d-bags who can't accept defeat, Russia……….

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