- Props to the New York Yankees for finally making it known
publicly that they intend to give a giant middle finger to disgraced slugger
Alex Fraud-riguez at every possible turn. The confirmed steroid user and
unashamed cheater recently blasted his 660th career home run – some of them
might even have be legitimate and not fueled by performance-enhancing drugs –
and that was supposed to trigger $6
million bonus, as it tied him with Willie Mays for fourth on the all-time home
run list. Yet for the first time since the next potential court battle
involving Fraud-riguez became public, a New York Yankees official has dared to
say publicly that the team has no intention of paying the aging third baseman
five payments of $6 million for reaching the following home run milestones: 660
(Willie Mays' total), 714 (Babe Ruth), 755 (Hank Aaron), 762 (Barry Bonds) and
763, which would break Bonds' all-time record. "We have the right but not
the obligation to do something, and that's it," Yankees general manager
Brian Cashman said. "We're going to follow the contract as we follow all
contracts, so there is no dispute, from our perspective." Simply put, the
team believes A-Fraud invalidated the addendum to the 10-year, $275 million
contract he signed with the Yankees after opting out of his previous contract
in 2007. From the Yankees’ point of view, that deal and its bonuses are
contingent upon the club's ability to market each accomplishment. In light of Rodriguez's
162-game suspension for drug violations last year, the Yankees (rightly) contend
marketing any of the feats is impossible now due to Rodriguez's admissions of,
and punishment for, illegal PED usage. “The Union is prepared to intervene on
Alex's behalf,'' Major League Baseball Players Association spokesman Greg Bouris
said, presumably while his inner monologue screamed, “I can't believe we have
to fight for this disingenuous asshole.” All in all, a truly unsavory situation
all around……….
- Look the hell out, world. Russia has a new toy and it
wants to use it to conquer the world….maybe just not in the way you think.
Sure, the new
Armata tank is billed as having the potential to surpass all Western versions
because of its remotely controlled cannon and the protection it offers its crew
and that comes in handy when you’re looking to wrongly invade every damn
country with whom you share a border or from which you’ve ever eaten an ethnic
food, but the more pertinent fact is that sh*t sells really well for would-be
world dominators around the globe. The mythical new tank made its big public
debut this week, rumbling down a broad Moscow avenue on its way to Red Square
for the Victory Day parade's final rehearsal. It was the latest step in a
drawn-out release process that included the Russian Defense Ministry last month
releasing photographs of the tank. Those teaser photos showed only the tank’s
platform, with its turret covered with fabric. Monday was the first time anyone
not enlisted to help Vlad Putin crush the world under his Communist heel had
seen the whole tank uncovered. The Armata will replace the T-72 and T-90 and is
scheduled to enter service next year. As for the big parade in which it figures
to feature prominently, that event takes place on Saturday, the 70th
anniversary of the victory over Nazi Germany in World War II. It’s ironic
because that was a time when Russia actually did something good for the world,
but it hasn’t exactly contributed much of value in the 70 years since……..
- Directing a “Star Wars” movie is the sort of gig most
dorky directors would be willing to throw their best girly punches for and scrap
their damndest with their scrawny forearms to win. So why is director
Josh Trank pulling out of directing the second film in the "Star
Wars" anthology? "After a year of having the incredible honor of
developing with the wonderful and talented people at Lucasfilm, I'm
making a personal decision to move forward on a different path," Trank
said in the statement. "I've put a tremendous amount of thought into this,
and I know deep down in my heart that I want to pursue some original creative
opportunities." Umm, that tells us nothing, J. What does tell us something
is that Trank was reportedly fired and that Disney, which owns "Star
Wars" creator George Lucas' studio Lucasfilm, announced that Trank, the director
of "Chronicle," had decided to move on. The studio seems to be
handling this politically, but odds are that a director isn’t just voluntarily
quitting on a project like this. The first anthology movie, "Star Wars:
Rogue One," will take place between "Episode III: Revenge of the
Sith" and "Episode IV: A New Hope" (known to many as the first
"Star Wars" movie from 1977). “Rogue One,” directed by Gareth Edwards
("Godzilla"), is a tale of a group of rebels that goes on a rogue
mission to steal plans for the Death Star. It will star Felicity Jones and is
expected to come out next year, so there is time to figure out who the hell is
going to replace Trank. Disney has yet to announce a replacement and said only hat
"the Star Wars team is continuing to develop the project." As for
Trank’s wholly unnecessary redo of "Fantastic Four," it’s due in
theaters August 7………….
- Sex on the beach…it’s not just a drink these days. Thanks
to Elissa Alvarez and Jose Caballero, it’s also a scarring
experience for several small children who had the misfortune of seeing these
two overly amorous lovers getting it on at a public beach in Bradenton,
Florida. Alvarez and Caballero were accused of having sex on in front of
families and with some fairly ironclad evidence against them, it took a Manatee
County jury about 15 minutes to find them guilty of lewd and lascivious
exhibition. The case wasn’t exactly shrouded in mystery after prosecutors
played a video in the courtroom showing Alvarez moving on top of Caballero in a
sexual manner in broad daylight. There were also multiple witnesses who
testified that a 3-year-old girls saw the alleged sex act and while the odds of
a child that being able to keep it in their pants will cost Alvarez and
Caballero dearly. Both of them will have to go through the rest of their lives
registering as sex offenders wherever they go and in addition to that
delightful piece of news, their respective convictions carry a maximum prison
sentence of 15 years. Credit to Caballero for managing to bag a chick half his
age and to get her to get her freak on while at the beach, but maybe next time
you either get a cheap motel room or at least wait until after dark so there
aren’t a bunch of families trying to chill on a sunny day at the beach………
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