Thursday, October 01, 2015

Duke v. Nature, Amtrak v. baggage hogs and Jack Bauer v. Destiny


- Not nearly enough, France. Have any of you actually walked the streets of your amazing city? If you had, you would know full well that a paltry new 68-euro ($76) fine is not going to be nearly enough to keep anyone from flicking their smoldering cigarette butt onto the sidewalk. Europe’s rate of smokers is disturbingly high for a continent where most countries consider themselves exceptionally civilized and ahead of various trends and curves. Paris is littered with 350 tons of cigarette butts each year and for one of the most-visited cities in the world, that’s a problem. Ignorant foreigners who have the audacity to visit without first learning fluent French do not want to be stepping over simmering butts on their way to the Eiffel Tower, Louvre or Latin Quarter. Beginning today, anyone who litters with their spent lung darts will receive that 68-euro fine and city hall is calling on all businesses to help enforce the rule — "to amplify the fight against this daily incivility" and make the City of Lights a cleaner place. Butts not only cause "visual pollution," city hall said in a statement, but also contain toxic products that could spread into soil and water. No way….lung darts have toxic contents? Smoking has been banned in French public buildings, restaurants and bars since 2008, but nearly a third of French people still smoke on the regular and those numbers seem a bit low for anyone who has ever visited the country for more than a layover at Charles de Gaulle…….


- Dammit, Jack Bauer, I AM NOT GOING TO ASK YOU AGAIN! Hell, no one should even ask in the first place. If “24” is going to live on, then Jack Bauer must be a part of it. Actor Kiefer Sutherland played Bauer for eight great season’s in Fox’s spy drama and came back for last year's 12-episode limited series “24: Live Another Day.” He is to the role what Matt Damon is to Jason Bourne and we all know how ugly it was to see a Bourne movie sans Matty D. Sutherland has tried to rule out returning as Jack Bauer again and honestly, his emotions might be genuine. "24 is definitely over now for me,” Sutherland said. "It's one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given as an actor, but it's moving on without me, I want to do other things." Bzzzzz! Wrong answer, K. Just like Jack Bauer would not accept denials and claims of innocence or lack of knowledge from terrorists, we don’t accept your claim. Executive producer Howard Gordon is currently working on what Fox has described as "another version" of 24 and while a spin-off could be interesting, building around a twenty-something male terrorist hunter working in tandem with an older female agent who has not previously appeared on the show is not going to fly without Bauer. Gordon said in June that there were no plans for Sutherland to feature in the spin-off series, but added that the door would remain open for him. The show’s producers sold Fox on the idea of a new season of the show that could work with or without Sutherland, but it seems like they’re all deluding themselves. Bauer WAS “24” and when “Live Another Day” ended with him in the hands of the Russians, it begged for a different ending. BAUER, WE’VE BEEN THROUGH EIGHT SEASONS AND 192 EPISODES AND YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT THIS WAY……


- Oh, so NOW Amtrak has standards. The rail company that had given the world more crashes over the years than anyone outside of any version of Windows has killed, maimed and destroyed the lives of so many with its subpar operations over the years, but apparently even an inept railway has to throw down the gauntlet at some point. That gauntlet will apparently come on the issue of baggage. For those who take their life and cast it to the wind by riding with Amtrak while taking baggage with them, today marks the start of a new era. Amtrak will (allegedly) start enforcing its baggage weight limits, handing out fees to those hauling more than their fair share onboard. The rules have been in place for some time, allowing passengers two small personal items and two standard carry-ons for free. That actually seems reasonable, yet some people can't follow even fair standards and so Amtrak has decided to crack down on those exceeding their allotment, handing out a $20 surcharge per bag to people with too many bags or luggage that exceeds 150 pounds. The same goes for those who exceed the maximum of two excess carry-ons. According to the company,  people with too many bags could be keeping others from fitting theirs in the luggage areas and super heavy bags aren’t safe for train workers to lift. Again, it’s mighty rich of Amtrak to lecture anyone about safety, but conductors and train staff weren’t really sure how to deal with rule breakers. A spokesman noted that the rulebreakers are few, but the problem they cause is much larger than their number. Therefore, if someone at the station notices this and thinks that a bag is overweight or oversized, they will intervene. There’s no way any traveler will object and cause a problem, so clearly this is an ironclad plan…….


- For years, the Duke University football program has struggled with the question of how to get people to come to games. That happens when you’re one of the most hapless, inept programs in college football, but these days the Blue Devils are winning 10 games a year and contending for Atlantic Coast Conference titles. So why are the members of the athletic department’s marketing staff developing something they’ve dubbed Tropical Roulette in order to sell tickets for this Saturday’s 3:30 p.m. game against Boston College? Because Hurricane Joaquin may make landfall in North Carolina this weekend and while you can still play college football in a torrential downpour, fans are less likely to show up if there’s a chance they may have to swim to their seat. Thus, beginning Wednesday, the athletic department is looking at the weather forecast to see what the chance of rain is for the game. Depending on those forecast odds -- as recorded in readings taken at 8:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. each day -- ticket prices will be tweaked. The largest possible discount will come if, at the time of reading, there's a 90 percent chance of rain or greater. Should that happen, general admission tickets will be discounted 50 percent off the regular $25, dropping the price to $12.50 a ticket. If the chance of rain dips below 30 percent, ticket prices will be cut just 10 percent. "Fans can decide to lock in their ticket now or roll the dice and wait," said Chris Alston, director of football marketing for the school. After drawing 24,127 for its loss to No. 16 Northwestern s and 20,101 for its win against No. 23, Georgia Tech, Duke is 3-1 and hoping to defeat both Boston College and nature this weekend……..

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