- Tom
Hanks seems to be building quite a rapport with the good people of New York
City. Earlier this year, a New Yorker found the actor's credit card on
a sidewalk and returned it to him, prompting an expression of Twitter gratitude
befitting a man who probably rocks an American Express black card and a credit
limit that rivals the value of many people’s home. "A guy named Tony found
my credit card on the street in NYC and returned it. You make this city even
greater! Thanx. HANX," Hanks tweeted at the time. This week, it was time
for Hanks to return the favor when he came across a student ID card belonging
to a female student at Fordham University in one of the city’s many parks. Hanks
did what any person with hundreds of thousands of social media followers would
do, taking to Twitter to let the student know he had found her ID. "Lauren! I found your Student ID in the park. If you
still need it my office will get to you," Hanks tweeted with a picture of
the card. Amazingly, Lauren - whose late name Hanks cleverly obscured in the
photo using his thumb - has yet to come forward, which means she must have had
one hell of a weekend bender and is still recovering, or that she’s the stereotypical
ditzy college girl so wrapped up in her own world that she’s missing a golden
chance to meet a famous actor and have her 15 minutes of fame. Either way,
Lauren would do well to shake herself and get in touch with Forrest Gump……..
- As
mixed martial arts become bigger and bigger in the United States, a growing
phenomenon is sweeping the country and it is awesome. That phenomenon is men
and women with MMA training, both amateur and professional, walking the streets
of this country and dishing out world-class ass kickings to those who try to
rob them, burglarize their homes or otherwise make them the victim of some type
of violent crimes. These beatdowns have occurred at all kinds of business and
in public places and now, they’re happening inside homes. Enter Richard
Melville, a career criminal and apparent crackhead who decided that it would be
a good idea to go prowling around the town of Menomonee Falls and attempt to
burglarize a home for items he ostensibly could flip for some cash to feed his
drug habit. Unfortunately for Meville, he landed a real whale in his attempt to
finance his addiction because he doesn’t appear to be as good at burglary as he
is at jamming illegal substances into his body. The house he picked to break
into belonged to former professional MMA fighter Dan “Savage” LaSavage, who was
spending his first night in his new home and had just put his 3-year-old
daughter to bed when he heard strange noises inside the house. “As I walked
fast, I turned around, and it was right here,” LaSavage said. “He had blue
latex gloves on, and I was like, ‘What are you doing here?’ He popped up and
had like crazy eyes and was like ‘Ahhhahhh.’ He didn't, like, say any words.” In
fairness to Melville, it’s difficult to say words when a trained MMA fighter is
wrapping you up in a choke hold and squeezing the air out of you, which is
exactly what LaSavage did. He dragged Melville’s limp body out to the porch,
snapped a photo and when police arrived, they hauled off the suspect. Next
time, maybe this tweaker and his crack pipe will know better than to try to rob
a guy who not only fought professionally, but has a company that makes martial
arts equipment……….
- The
Miami Dolphins are attempting some major bye-week damage repair and no one has
as much work to do as Dolphins starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill. Not only did
he have his worst game of the season against the New York Jets in a contest the
NFL foolishly chose to highlight by making it one of the contests staged in
London this season, growing for a season-low 198 yards, two touchdowns and two
interceptions in a 27-14 loss, but his habit of throwing the ball to the wrong
guys was apparently in full bloom well before kickoff. After the game, reports
surfaced that Tannehill was making snarky remarks to practice squad defenders
in practice because they intercepted his passes. He reportedly told them to
enjoy their practice squad paychecks and trophies and now-former head coach Joe
Philbin reportedly had to tell those practice squadders to back off a bit
because their interceptions were deflating the starting quarterback’s
confidence. It’s such a bad look for a quarterback making eight figures a year
to be a) unable to outplay practice squad players and b) unable to deal with
them getting the better of him and needing to make petty, bitter remarks to
them because of it. Faced with those reports, Tannehill kind of, sort of owned
his comments. "It was a day before the [New York Jets] game, and I didn't
feel we were getting the looks that we needed before a game, so I got
upset," Tannehill said. "But I said nothing about a paycheck or
anything close to that. "Am I happy about everything I said? No. [Am I
happy] the things went down the way they did? No.” But hey, Tannehill claimed
to have spoken with those practice squad defenders to clear the air, so let’s
just assume those proud professional athletes accepted the hollow mea culpa of
a quarterback they hate and just move on with a team that fired its coach this
week and sits at an impressive 1-3 on the season……….
- Riot
Watch! Riot Watch! This is a special prison edition of the world’s favorite
overview of revolts, rebellions and uprisings the whole globe o’er, coming to
you directly from the Parana state prison in Londrina
, Brazil. The revolt began over a rather trite, clichéd list of prisoner
demands common to incarcerated men and women around the world, a list that
included conjugal visits, better food and improved conditions. There isn't a
prisoner on the planet who wouldn’t be down with sex, better grub and improved
living conditions, but not all of them are willing to stage a violent, albeit
brief takeover of their home correctional facility and show up in television
images in which they can be seen traipsing across the prison rooftop dragging
several hostages — all fellow inmates — with bound wrists and dangling them off
the edge. Prison is a notoriously rough place, but usually that comes in the
form of fights in the yard, attacks in the shower and confrontations in the
cafeteria, not a fellow inmate using you as bait so he can get a chance to get
after it in the sack with his lady once a week when she comes to visit. According
to reports from the scene, three inmates actually were chucked off the roof
like lawn darts and one is hospitalized in serious condition with head trauma.
As for the complaints of poor living conditions, that can happen when 1,140
inmates are held at a prison designed for 928. Then again, compared to the
overcrowding situation at some American correctional facilities, being a mere
22.8 percent over capacity is a stay at the freaking Beverly Hills Hilton by
comparison………..
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