- How
are the Backstreet Men still a thing? Did no one tell the BSM that the man-band
era, arguably the second-darkest in music history behind disco, is mercifully
over and that the likes of One Direction are merely ugly aberrations that will
eventually fade away? Yet here is Backstreet Man
A.J. McLean - you know, one of those other dudes in the group that no one ever
really cared about but who was just there to fill out the lineup - announcing
that his merry band of musical miscreants will return to the studio this week
and might even unleash the unholy hell of touring with one of their fellow
mid-‘90s pop disasters, The Spice Girls. McLean confirmed that after being
involved with the zombie movie “Dead 7,” written by fellow BSM member Nick
Carter, the group are energized to make what they try to pass off as music
again. "The Spice Girls tour has been this idea bouncing around for the
past year and a half, and it's something we're still talking about,"
McLean said. "But we're going back in
on the 12th to dust off the cobwebs. We're working with a new producer, Jay
Cash, who wrote 'Sugar' for Maroon 5. This is just the beginning phase, but
we're hoping to have the album done before our cruise in May." Yes,
another man band cruise. Because merely living in a world where this awful
brand of hot pop music garbage exists isn't enough and some people need to
willingly trap themselves on a boat at sea with it and have no means of escape.
The last BSM album, “In a World Like This,” was a totally irrelevant 2013
release that the world has managed to forget, so by all means, record another
one to be ignored as well………..
- Way
to keep it weird, Britain. Not a good kind of weird, by the way. No, it’s definitely
the bad kind of weird when the British Metropolitan
Police report a significant increase in the number of child abuse cases that
involve allegations of witchcraft and exorcism. Yes, you read that correctly.
Children are being abused, sometimes to the point of putting their lives in
danger, because their parents are kooks who believe that either they or their
child is being harassed by, possessed by or otherwise maliced by evil spirits.
According to police, a special unit received 46 such cases in 2014, more than
twice as many as the year before. The Project Violet unit deals with these
unusual cases and not only did the number skyrocket in 2014, but 60 incidents
have been reported so far this year, continuing the upward trend. Detective
Sergeant Terry Sharpe admitted that while the total number of incidents remains
"small in number, "there has been a significant increase."
Sharpe pointed to one heinous incident in which a 9-year-old boy was called a
"devil child" and thrown out of his home by his parents. Oh, and
there was also a mentally unstable mother who believed her son was a witch and
tried to bite and smother him. Britain is far from alone in having an unnerving
number of ass hats whose connection to reality is tenuous at best and deadly at
worst, but it would still be nice to know why this ugly trend is picking up
speed so quickly in the British Isles……….
- The
sports world has largely forgotten about disgraced former Tour de France
champion Lance Armstrong, but his scandalous career is still making waves in
certain corners of the globe. Mostly that’s because of people who are still
trying to make a name for themselves - and maybe a few dollars along with it -
by releasing a movie about Cheat-strong that will detail his systematic doping
regimen that allowed him to battle back from nearly being killed by cancer to
win seven Tour de France titles. “The Program” is due out this week in Italy,
prompting Armstrong's former physician to file a
lawsuit aiming to halt distribution of the film in Italy. Lawyers for Dr.
Michele Ferrari have requested that the "The Program” be sequestered from
distributor Videa and that the producers pay damagers. Those legal eagles claim
Ferrari never administered EPO to Armstrong Tour de France victories and banned
for life from professional cycling in 2012 after a U.S. Anti-Doping Agency investigation found
that he had used PEDs during his cycling career. In the movie, French actor
Guillaume Canet portrays Ferrari, so perhaps having a Frenchman play you on the
big screen is even more infuriating for an Italian. Either way, director Stephen
Frears and everyone involved with the film can't be too worried about this
lawsuit, largely because it appears to have little merit and also because it’s
creating a ton of free publicity for their movie. It’s an all-around win for a
film that probably won't be garnering any Oscars any time soon……
- Who
doesn’t love a good yacht club? Other
than the 99.75 percent of us who don’t know and could never afford a yacht and
are therefore infused with a lifetime of resentment for those arrogant pricks
who believe that spending $100,000 for a boat they use a few times a year and
stock with premium liquor and food to consume while cruising the high seas with
their fellow rich friends, of course. So what’s the problem if exclusive (i.e.
irrationally expensive) Pitzer College in Claremont, California wants to have
itself a student yacht club? Sure, the arrogant young a-holes in this club
didn’t actually earn their wealth and are merely coasting off the fortunes
mommy and daddy have amassed, but that’s no reason for the student senate at
Pitzer to vote to deny instating a yacht club at the school because a majority
of these fake educational legislators “found the name 'yacht club' to have a
particularly offensive association with yacht clubs and a recreation known for
being exclusive," according to Taylor Novick-Finder, a Pitzer College senator.
When you’re school’s cost of tuition is reportedly $64,000 per year,
exclusivity is implied and there is zero chance of anyone getting into Pitzer
without a firm knowledge of the fact that they’re living in a small, pricy
bubble with little connection to reality or to the filthy, unwashed masses for
whom they possess such a healthy disdain. Since the controversy sparked up, the
school issued an obligatory statement explaining that the school "respects
the diverse views of our student body," but believes that
"discussions, and sometimes debate, on opposing views, are part of the
educational process." Whatever you feel is going to keep the poor, ugly
undesirables from lighting their torches, sharpening their pitchforks and
attempting to storm the gilded gates of your prestigious institution…….
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