Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Ukraine aero-b*tch-smacks Russia, blame for Limp Bizkit and Brazilian soccer + guns


- Brazil loves its soccer. One Brazilian soccer referee also appears to love his guns as if he were an honorary foreign member of the National Rifle Association. Meet Gabriel Murta, a referee for a lower-tier Brazilian league, a man who clearly laid down the law during a match over the weekend. It all began when Murta was kicked and slapped by players from lower-league Amantes de Bola. As if that weren't enough for a guy making a few measly bucks for a second job, the manager bum-rushed the pitch demanding a red card and Murta decided he’d had just about enough. He allegedly responded by sprinting to the locker room and coming back with a gun that he then pointed at his tormentors. It’s worth noting that this guy is a police officer in his day job, so he just might have a God complex or a penchant for macho behavior, but his macho act has now been ordered to undergo psychological testing before the Minas Gerais Football Federation decides on a punishment. Punishment? For making soccer interesting? Just imagine how much more watchable every match would be if the refree were packing heat and rather than issue a red card, he might send red blood flowing onto the field with his Glock. “The Minas Gerais Football Federation has already summonsed the referee and a psychologist to a meeting, and I'm going to talk with him,” said Giuliano Bozzano, president of the local referees association. “What's happened is obviously not a common occurrence, and I don't want to rush into anything. At the moment it happened, he's opted for getting his gun because in his view it was a question of controlling a situation.” Yes, because guns always bring calm to any situation………..


- Speaking of police officers who don’t act like zealous, hotheaded, super-macho a-holes….meet Roeland Park (Kansas) police officer Zack Stamper, who was doing his job when he was dispatched to investigate a report of a suspicious person in a park. What he found was Samuel Meixueiro a homeless man forced to walk several hours a day to his job as a liquor store cashier. Given the frequent links between homeless people and alcohol abuse, the idea of a homeless dude working at a liquor store might seem like a bad idea. Yet it seems to be working so far for Meixueiro. However, his new gig hasn’t yet gotten him fully back on his feet and that’s what landed him in that park. When Stamper saw his plight, he was touched and gave Meixueiro a bicycle to ride to work. But the officer didn’t stop there and threw in a duffel bag to replace Meixuero's suitcase, which had a broken zipper. It was a kind gesture that brought Meixueiro to tears, with the homeless man saying he's been staying in a church while trying to save money for an apartment. Credit Stamper for listening to Meixueiro when he explained his situation and for driving Meixueiro to his job the first day they met. From there, the officer retrieved a duffel bag from his basement and a bicycle from the department's assortment of surrendered or abandoned ones. He cleaned up the bike, inflated its tires and took both the bike and the bag to the liquor store to surprise his new friend. It was the sort of kindness that people have come to expect from the Midwest………


- Apology not accepted, Rage Against The Machine bass player Tim Commerford. You can apologize all you want for the fact that your band inadvertently led to the creation of Limp Bizkit, but you cannot uncook that Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water. Limp Bizkit lead vocal hack Fred Durst has spoken in the past about the influence Rage Against The Machine have had on him and while a band cannot possibly control the people who listen to its music or what those people do with the influence you have on them. Limp Bizkit regularly cover 'Killing In The Name' in their live sets and while that’s something for which to be embarrassed, an apology doesn’t begin to cover it, not when at a 2014 live gig in New York, Durst praised Rage Against the Machine and dedicated a song "to the rap-rock band that started this shit." Commerford was asked about the connection and sounded contrite - just not contrite enough.  "I do apologize for Limp Bizkit," Commerford said. "I really do. I feel really bad that we inspired such bullshit." Ironically, Commerford might be better able to tolerate this Limp Bizkit connection because he seems to live under the mistaken impression that these hacks have split up. "They're gone, though. That's the beautiful thing. There's only one left, and that's Rage, and as far as I'm concerned, we're the only one that matters," Commerford added. if only that were true, bro. Sadly, Durst and his stupid red, backwards Yankees hat are still tormenting ears around the world………


- While Vlad Putin is away, Ukraine don’t play. With the Russian despot in New York for a weekend of United Nations keggers and toga parties, Ukraine banned Russian airlines from flying into the country in an effort to pressure Moscow over its backing of rebels in eastern Ukraine. The Ukrainian government b*tch-slapped the transportation industry when Cabinet ministers prohibited transit flights of Russian airlines via Ukraine, "if they contain military goods, dual use or Russian military manpower," according to a statement by the government. Who are the bold visionaries just begging for another Putin-led invasion? For one, Ukrainian Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk deserves credit. "Russian aircraft with Russian tricolor have nothing to do in Ukrainian airports," Yatsenyuk said at the meeting. This is no weak-ass ban, either; it will include Russia's largest carrier, Aeroflot, and is set to take effect October 25. Even with Putin sipping $25 vodka and tonics in Manhattan while giving death stares to Barack Obama across the room, Russia fired back quickly and Moscow called the ban an act of "lunacy." "Suspension of air service between Russia and Ukraine would be another act of insanity," Kremlin Spokesman Dmitry Peskov proclaimed. "Looking back at the past 20 months, we cannot deny a hypothetical possibility of such acts of lunacy on the part of Kiev." Look at our man D-Money, throwing around vague, multisyllabic terms like “hypothetical possibility” and glossing over the fact that nearly 8,000 people have lost their lives as a result of the fighting in eastern Ukraine - with Russia at the center of the insanity. Kiev and international monitors insist the ceasefire agreement between the military and separatists in the eastern part of the country is still holding, but Putin can fix that in a hurry once he gets home………..

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