- Chain
restaurants enrage some people. They hate the idea of heavily processed food
made in assembly line fashion, with speed and cost prioritized over quality.
That may or may not have been the reason an Alaska woman took off her clothes
and put on her inner Hulk this week at a Subway restaurant in Anchorage. What’s
clear is that the naked nihilist entered the restaurant on Tudor Road fully
clothed at around 5 p.m. and went into the restroom, where she removed all of
her clothing and returned to the dining area in a full-on rage. She began to
break the furniture, pull down ceiling tiles and throw around the food, tables
and chairs in a display that probably would have fit better at an establishment
such as Taco Bell with its hazardous-to-your-health-and-fit-to-be-destroyed
“food” offerings. Terrified employees called police, who responded to the scene
and were able to apprehended the woman and bring an end to her rampage. You may
or may not believe this, but officers speculated after arriving on the scene
that the naked woman may have been on drugs, perhaps spice. Either that or she
simply is not a fan of cheap, quick submarine sandwiches bundled with tiny and
wildly overpriced bags of salty snacks and cookies. Oh, and there’s also the
chance that she simply realized she lives in a frigid wasteland devoid of sun
and warmth for the majority of every single year. Either way, props to this
woman for making others’ lives more interesting for a few brilliant minutes………
- Five
Finger Death Punch are good people. Ivan Moody’s rock outfit may not be
considered among the best bands in rock and roll, but anyone who disses them
should hear them out on their views regarding a certain egomaniacal, wildly
overrated rapper with a fondness for attention whoring before rendering a final
verdict on FFDP. Specifically, check out their recent show in Chester,
Pennsylvania, which contained a moment that has to rank as the best and biggest
in Moody’s life. There he and his bandmates were, rocking out and getting the
crowd moshing when Moody took a moment out of the noise to issue a proclamation
that led to hundreds and hundreds of people chanting a statement that is as
true and just as any that has ever been uttered. "Let's make one more
statement right now: F*ck Kanye West. Yes, I f*cking said it and I don't regret
it,” Moody shouted to the crowd. It’s not the first time those words have been
uttered and they’ve been totally justified every time, but rarely does someone
a) grab a microphone on stage in front of a crowd and say it and b) not have
West bum-rush the stage and hijack the mic from them. Moody proceeded to lead a
chant of "F*ck Kanye!" before adding, "I'm gonna hear about that
tomorrow on Facebook and I really don't give a sh*t." It was the sort of
concert we should all aspire to be at and FFDP are the sort of band that we can
all rally behind whether we’re fans of their particular brand of rock and roll
or not………
- Someone’s
feeling a bit oversensitive and paranoid, eh Maldives President Yameen Abdul
Gayoom? My man, you’re the leader of a small, weak chain of islands that form a
nation most people could not find even with the assistance of Google Maps, so
you have to expect that with your lofty position you’re going to be a target
for those who either want your throne or feel like you’re not doing a good
enough job. Therefore, you can't be acting a fool and firing your defense
minister in what is believed to be part of an overhaul after an explosion on
your speedboat last month, one officials suspect was an assassination attempt. Gayoom
broke off Defense Minister Moosa Ali Jaleel, the president’s spokesman
announced in, of all places, a tweet. Hey Yameen, if it’s not too much to ask
from the leader of a country, do you think you can let the world know in an
official statement rather than one contained in 140 characters on social media?
Why not hit that with #yourefire #trytoblowmeupidetonateyourcareer? Best of
all, the tweet didn’t give a reason for Jaleel’s firing, which just
coincidentally comes amid arrests and transfers in the defense minister that
followed the Sept. 28 blast that wounded Gayoom's wife, an official and a
bodyguard. The big boom came as Gayoom and his wife were returning by boat from
the country's airport to the capital. The airport and capital are on separate
islands in the archipelago state. So far, two soldiers have been arrested in
conjunction with the bombing, but this (alleged) conspiracy is still being
unspooled………
- Hey
America, remember when our soccer team was the next big thing on our national
sports scene, inspiring World Cup viewing parties attended by thousands? Neither
do we. Let’s all just agree to act like those never happened and none of you
tried to tell anyone who would listen that the United States was on the verge
of becoming a global soccer power. That has never been further from the truth
right now following the last three major outings for the U.S. men’s national
team. First, there was 2015 CONCACAF Gold Cup semifinal loss to Jamaica. Up
next was a Confederations Cup loss to Mexico in which the Americans were
thoroughly outplayed. To cap it off, the U.S. dropped a 1-0 decision to lowly
Costa Rica in an international friendly played in some place called Harrison,
New Jersey. Joel Campbell delivered the dagger that downed the Americans in
front of a meager crowd of just 9,214 and let’s just say those hearty soccer
souls were not enthusiastically behind embattled U.S. coach Jurgen Klinsmann.
Klinsmann was booed when he was announced before the game and the loss didn’t
exactly endear him to the fans. Afterward, the wildly overrated coach offered
little encouragement about his team’s current state. . "The Saturday night
clash with Mexico was still heavy in the air," Klinsmann said. "Heads
were full. We were not able to shake this off within two days. It was too much
a disappointment but also too much on their shoulders. There are not only
sunshine days. We had a lot of sunshine 2012, 2013, 2014. Now it's raining a
little bit and you've got to go through that.” Sunshine days? That’s all you
have? J., your team is preparing for the kickoff of a new World Cup qualifying
campaign in exactly a month and pundits and fans across the United States are
calling for your head. Maybe you want to come up with something better than
sunshine days before the U.S. is dropping 5-0 decisions to the likes of
Trinidad & Tobago……….
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