- Were
they just curious college girls, or was it something more sinister? That’s the
question at hand for two women, 18 and 19 years
old, who were detained last week in Indonesia's devout Aceh province by Islamic
Shariah police say. Their crime was some sort of unspecified lesbian act and
that act at a tourist resort was enough to get them arrested. According to the
law enforcement chief of the Shariah police, Evendi A. Latief, the two women
confessed to being lesbians and were transferred to the Aceh police's Women and
Child Protection Unit. They were detained in the province's capital, Banda Aceh, a place
Indonesia's central government granted Aceh, the most devout province in the
Muslim-majority nation, the right to implement a version of Islamic Shariah law
in 2006 as part of a peace deal to end a separatist war. The women probably
should have known where they were and realized that if they in any way displayed
their same-sex love in a public or semi-public setting, the Shariah police were
going to descend on them like rabid badgers after their next meal and slap the
cuffs on them with malice. Yet even in such an unforgiving place, these two
lascivious lesbians were shown mercy because they will undergo rehabilitation
instead of being charged with a crime. Verrrrry magnanimous of, Shariah police.
Because clearly, some sort of 12-step program/brainwashing/behavior
modification is going to change these two women’s lifestyle and cause them to
go straight……….
- There’s
not a worse idea in baseball than Steve Bartman attending the Chicago Cubs'
first playoff game in seven years. Bartman famously blundered his way into
baseball lore in October 2003 when, with the Cubs leading the Marlins 3-0 in
the eighth inning of Game 6 of the NL Championship Series, he interfered with a
foul ball that appeared to be a potential catch by Cubs left fielder Moises
Alou. The Cubs went on to lose the game, blow a 3-2 series lead and extend a
World Series title drought now at 108 years and counting. They haven't won a
postseason contest since but have the third-best record in baseball this season
and are set to play in Wednesday’s National League wild-care game against the
Pirates in Pittsburgh. With that in mind, a dude named Keque Escobedo
established a GoFundMe page with the goal of getting Bartman to that game. "Lifelong
Cubs fan wants to make amends for 2003, let's make it happen. First we need to
find him to get him to the big game,” Escobedo wrote on his page. “If anyone
knows where he is at, tell him we are looking for him. The money would pay for
his expenses including his ticket, hotel room, flights and a little spending
money.” The only saving grace for the page is a line explaining that if Bartman
can't be track down before the game, “all the proceeds raised will be donated to
the Alzheimer's Association." As it turns out, Bartman was easy to find
and amazingly enough, this totally unimportant man has a spokesman. "It's
nice of these people to think of Steve, but he won't be taking advantage of the
offer," spokesman Frank Murtha said. "He's perfectly capable of
attending the game on his own, though he has no intention of being at the
wild-card game." Right, because that guy wants to attend the game, risk
being identified, turn into a media spectacle again and unleash all kinds of
hell to rain down upon him should the Cubs lose……….
- Don’t
poke the bear with a stick….and don’t blast him with a shot of pepper spray
just for coming into your yard. There is no need to tell that to Mary Maley, an Alaska woman who has become a national
punchline after a video of her ill-fated encounter with a mischievous black
bear went viral. She rolled tape as the curious black bear made its way into
her yard and rather than do the smart thing by staying inside, calling animal
control and trying to avoid getting mauled or eaten, she decided to yell at the
bear. That was her first mistake, but it was not her last. Early in the video,
she berated the bear - because it clearly understood what she was saying - and
then compounded her error by blasting the bear with pepper spray while
continuing to order the bear to get away from her. The pepper spray seemed to
only antagonize the animal and after shaking off its effects, the angered bear
showed an impressive level of spite by turning around, walking back to Maley’s
kayak that it had already damaged and proceeded to absolutely decimate the
small craft. It was a wonderful reminder that while karma doesn’t actually
exist, there are times when a person does something stupid and/or offensive and
immediately gets repaid in a heartwarming way for their actions. It is amazing
that someone who lives in rural Alaska and presumably has been around bears
before wouldn’t react better, but the state is off the edge of the map and out
there, there be morons………
- Way
to rage against one of the biggest bands of a bygone era of rock and roll,
Roger Waters, bassist of one of the biggest bands of a bygone era of rock and
roll. The Pink Floyd bassist, whose own band has hung on for far too long and
far too many shameless late-career cash grabs, has a major beef with Bon Jovi
over the latter’s upcoming concert in Israel. There
are a lot of offensive places to play in the world because said countries have
horrible human rights records and despotic leaders who trample the freedoms of
their people, but Israel is generally not one of them. While Israel is locked
in a nonstop battle with its rivals in Palestine, the conflict isn't one that
has led to charges of massive genocide or anything beyond the usual evils of
holy wars between rival nations. Yet Waters is pissed at Bon Jovi for last
night’s show in Tel Aviv, accusing frontman Jon Bon Jovi and his band mates of
standing "shoulder to shoulder" with Israel before listing many of
the casualties suffered by the Palestinians at the hands of the Israeli
government in an open letter published prior to the show. "Often in the past I have written detailed, and
sometimes even persuasive, letters to colleagues in the music business,
encouraging them not to give succor to the Israeli government's apartheid
policies by performing in Israel," Waters wrote. "Having read Jon's
comments last week in Yedioth Ahronoth,
I won't waste my time drawing parallels with Apartheid South Africa and the
moral stand that so many artists took then and that thousands are taking now in
the face of decades of Israeli oppression of Palestinians." The show went
on despite Waters’ objections and so far, neither Jon Bon Jovi nor his
bandmates have given much public attention to Waters’ rant……..
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