At least somebody knows how to leave Iraq....plus a goalie moons a bnuch of Mormons

- See, it is possible! I knew it! You can withdraw your troops from Iraq, and now we have concrete proof. Britain announced plans on Tuesday to pull its armed forces out of Iraq, beginning with 1,500 troops heading home in a few weeks. What really kills me about this, though, is that British Prime Minister Tony Blair and W. talked about this very subject via teleconference and W. later labeled it as “a sign of success” in Iraq. If it’s such a sign of success, then 1) when the hell will American troops be coming home, and 2) exactly which part of Iraq is a success? Is it the insurgent groups who keep blowing one another up, is it the contained presence of roadside bombs endangering the lives of our soldiers, is it the fact that we still haven't found those elusive WMD’s, or is it something else I haven't listed here? I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s not a sign of success, but rather of Blair realizing that his own country doesn’t support British troops in Iraq or the fact that they were there, in a place they shouldn’t be, in the first place. Furthermore, I’m going to assume that other world leaders are manning up, facing the fact that they made a mistake in getting involved in this war to begin with and pulling their troops out of Iraq. Thanks to our brain dead Bozo in Chief, though, America soldiers on (pun intended) and we won't see this end until someone gets elected in ’08 on the strength of their guarantee to put an end to this whole debacle.

- I’m willing to bet that more than a few college guys have mooned someone. You get drunk, you and your buddies are out screwing around, someone dares someone and out comes the moon. However, this is the first time I’ve heard of a college guy mooning the refs and crowd during a hockey game. Mickey Meyer, goalie for the USC hockey team, dropped trou because he was pissed at the referees and how they were calling the game. Meyer’s antics didn’t stop there; he pretended to ride his goalie stick like a horse and slapped his butt several times while mooning everyone. Best of all, this was at a game at Brigham Young University, i.e. the Mormon capital of America, one of the most religious and conservative places in the country. I’m sure those people were all veeeery amused to see a bare-butted dude pretending to ride a horsie and acting like, well, a horse’s rear end. Predictably, Meyer was ejected and let’s go ahead and ass(ume) he will be suspended for a few games. But hey, in the end he will have something he can look back on years from now and be very, very proud of.

- Side note: had the chance to hear a speaker last night by the name of Michael Franzese. If you know his story and have ever heard him speak or be interviewed, then you know what an amazing life he’s had. If you don’t know anything about him, run a search on him or hit on Wikipedia. To sum it up briefly, he’s a guy who dropped out of college in order to pursue a life in the mafia, following in the footsteps of his then-imprisoned father. He made hundreds of millions of dollars for the mob through gambling operations, gasoline pricing rings and other schemes. He had people killed (he admitted as much), made big-time mob-financed movies and was acquitted five times on charges brought against him by various law enforcement agencies. He went to federal prison for eight years when he finally was convicted, then was offered a chance by the FBI to begin working on the other side of the law. He renounced his life of organized crime, had a contract put on his life but started speaking to college and pro athletes about the real dangers of gambling. He’s appeared on every conceivable TV and radio show about sports, news and the like and written two books. He’s a walking example of someone who walked away from the mafia and has lived to tell about it. If he ever comes to speak anywhere near you, you need to go and hear him. It’s an amazing tale of a life that changed after going through things that most of us will only see on the movie screen in Goodfellas or Donnie Brasco (the two mob movies Franzese cited as being accurate portrayals of the mob lifestyle). Plus, he’s using his influence to make a difference for a lot of college kids who hear him speak, and regardless of his dirty past, you have to salute the guy for what he’s doing now.

- Know how people hypothesize about finding a cure for cancer or AIDS? Well, those looking to cure the latter can apparently stop looking, because the president of Gambia, a tiny nation in Africa, claims he has found the cure to AIDS. Yahya Jammeh says that a combination of a green herbal paste, a mysterious bitter yellow drink and two bananas are the remedy for a disease that scientists are still fighting to cure. Jammeh announced his “miraculous” find to a group of visiting diplomats in January, yet major pharmaceutical companies haven't rushed to scoop up his formula. Somehow, the World Health Organization isn't in Jammeh’s corner either, maintaining that at present, there is no cure for AIDS. Unfortunately, Y., I’m going to have to side with the WHO (no, not the band, although I’m down with them too, good music) and say that your “cure” isn't really a cure at all and doesn’t help eliminate AIDS. Besides, based on the volume of commercials I see on TV right now, the major focus of the entire pharmaceutical industry is drugs that enhance the size of guys’ cranks and helps them perform better sexually. And after all, what’s more important, making sure more people can get it done in the bedroom or curing a disease that kills hundreds of thousands of people worldwide on an annual basis? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

- One quick headline joke, because I’m always accused of being too serious: “EU ministers agree on gas emissions cut.” So yes, it looks like the EU will be forcing the closing of all Taco Bell restaurants on the continent and dropping an embargo on the sale of pork n’ beans in Europe.

- Popular new trend: celebrities requesting that everyone “respect their privacy” and thanking us for doing so in advance. Britney Spears’ publicist made the request regarding her trip to rehab (well, she’s already bailed on rehab again, so never mind) and Tom Brady’s publicist thanked everyone for respecting Brady’s privacy in his dealing with the news of the pregnancy of his ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan. Nothing like thanking people for doing something that they haven't even done yet and probably aren't going to do at all. Pretty simple solutions here for Tom and Brit. Tom, quit knocking up famous actresses and then dumping them for supermodels, and Brit, stop having psychotic breakdowns, going G.I. Jane on your hair and checking in and out of rehab so often and so quickly that the revolving door at the facility doesn’t have a chance to stop spinning. Either that, or stop doing what made you famous (being a Super Bowl winning quarterback and making terrible music while dressing like a skank, respectively) and become an “ordinary” citizen. Problem solved.

- This story makes me queasy and nauseous just thinking about it, but……three patients at a hospital in Tuscany were given organ transplants using organs from an HIV-positive donor. Of all the oops moments in medical care, that’s got to be the worst. It’s one thing if you get the wrong leg amputated or have some sort of botched surgery; those alone are awful and life altering. But it’s on a whole ‘nother level when you get an organ put into your body that could give you a life-threatening immune system deficiency. The incidents have raised serious questions about transplant procedures in Italy (I’d hope so!), and honestly if I’m ever in Italy and in need of medical care, I think I’ll hop on the Eurorail and go to Germany or France instead.