Saturday, September 26, 2015

Fake superheroes v. crime, reviving "The A-Team" and moveable private island insanity


- Look who just got himself a free weekend to hit up some parties and chill with friends in South Bend, Indiana. Notre Dame reserve defensive tackle Jay Hayes can look at his weekend off from the football team in one of two ways. Hayes, who hasn't played this season, didn’t travel with the team for Saturday's game against Massachusetts. The reason he was left behind was ripping  the coaching staff on Twitter earlier this week, suggesting that his coaches weren't really doing anything to help him get better. "When a coach stops coaching you..that's when you jus gotta move on," Hayes tweeted. "Gotta get this natty [national title] and I'm out." They were clearly the frustrated words of a college athlete who thinks he’s much better than he is on the field and predictably, Hayes deleted his tweets once they began to garner him unwanted attention, as if there is any way to actually erase tweets once you post them. Head coach Brian Kelly clearly saw them and slapped Hayes on the no-fly list for this weekend’s road game. "You have to think before you hit send, and what you have to do is knock on my door instead of hitting the send button," Kelly said. “If he has a job at Google and talks about his boss that way, he probably is not going to have a job the next day. You just tell them, 'Look, you need to make a better decision next time or it's going to impact you when you leave here.' He won't be on the travel roster this week for that mistake." Time to find a good frat party and enjoy a weekend of cheap beer, sleeping in and freedom, Jay……….


- Being rich is all about finding ways to elevate yourself above not only the peons beneath you on the socioeconomic ladder, but above your fellow rich people. Be it through valuable pieces of art, exclusive luxury cars, obscenely extravagant jewelry or jaw-dropping vacation homes, the über-wealthy need to remain a cut above. The latest over-the-top, wholly unnecessary object of opulence that the 1 percent of the 1 percent can target is Kokomo Ailand, a movable island created by the innovators at Austria-based Migaloo Private Submersible Yachts. Migaloo’s designers, with seemingly no connection to reality or sanity, are working on plans to create  the world’s first mobile private island. Ya know, because you wouldn’t want to do something truly crazy like take those spare hundreds of millions of dollars you have lying around and use them to feed the starving masses of the world or provide a place to live for the millions of homeless individuals on this spinning sphere of humanity. “Living on and with the sea will be a future mega-trend, and this island can be a first step to adapt to this new way of living,” said Christian Gumpold, managing director of Migaloo. “The response has been amazing. All of our clients love the idea.” Of course they love the idea, C., they’re rich, self-centered pricks who clearly don’t care about making the world a better place. But hell, then you have a private island that can move under its own power, boasts a 262-foot elevator, a penthouse with 360-degree views, a jungle deck with a waterfall, an al fresco dining area, beauty salons, a spa, a gym, a bar and a pool, you can always try to buy yourself the soul you most definitely do not possess………...


- Did no one learn a lesson from the utterly awful, star-studded, spectacular failure of a movie that was 2010’s “The A-Team” in all of its remade glory? The movie had Jessica Biel, Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper, yet it was such an extreme flop that a planned sequel was cancelled - and we all now that cancelling a sequel makes Hollywood executives weep bitterly. So why are we now hearing that 20th Century Fox is working on a new TV series based on the classic '80s drama that spawned that awful 2010 movie. “The A-Team” famously featured an all-male team of US Army Special Forces operatives trying to clear their name after being framed for a crime they didn't commit, traveling the world helping plucky underdogs defeat dastardly bad guys. Every episode featured attractive women and adorable kids in need, with the A-Team’s four members inevitably captured, only to escape by building a war machine of some sort from spare parts foolishly stored in the space where they were being kept and scoring a decisive blow to the bad guys in the end. The remake will be helmed by “Fast & Furious” writer-producer Chris Morgan, who will work with Tawnia McKiernan, daughter of the original show's co-creator Stephen J. Cannells. The original show ran on NBC for five season between 1983 and 1987, but the remake won't be a carbon copy. It will reportedly bastardize the original format/score a totally unimportant blow for gender equality by featuring both male and female members of the team. Given the failure rate of new TV shows, the odds aren't in this one’s favor, but it should still be fun to throw lots of money and big names at it before it crashes and burns………


- Never mind the debut of “Heroes: Reborn” on NBC this week, a make-believe real life superhero continues to try to make a difference in the Emerald City. Ben Fodor, a self-styled hero using the name Phoenix Jones , first became known in 2011, when his vigilante-style crime-fighting ways began to be widely documented in his native Seattle. He began wearing a mask and patrolling the streets, on a mission to get himself killed because he thinks he’s straight out of a comic book. Eventually, Fodor’s affinity for fighting took him to the octagon as a mixed martial artist, where he lost his World Series of Fighting debut to Emmanuel Walo in April. In officiated combat, Fodor’s life has turned around since then and he recently submitted Roberto Young at WSOF 23 to run his professional record to 6-1. Winning a few dollars fighting hasn’t satiated his thirst for combat, though, and one day after defeating Young, Fodor claims that he stopped a possible murder on the streets of Seattle. The imaginary superhero allegedly noticed a man being pistol-whipped early in the morning and stepped in to help. He later told police officers he saw a man hitting another man in the head outside a music venue. “In the middle of the fight, I saw a man start striking overhand to another man’s face. At that point, I got closer and saw that he had a gun in his hand,” Jones said. “He was pistol-whipping a person. The man fell down and tried to get up, and two other people started stomping his face...He gets up, and the guy comes back with the gun. At that point, I came through, and I hit the suspect with the gun, and he went down, and the gun came out. I took off. My friend Nate took off with me.” Wait….a superhero who runs when he sees a gun? Sounds like someone needs to grow up and become a real hero, Fodor/Jones……..

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