Monday, September 28, 2015

Duran Duran's draw, Andrew McCutchen's mistake and German airport/hors metaphors


- Some items are just asking to be stolen. For example, if you have a 100-pound pumpkin growing outside your home in some Podunk part of South Dakota and you don’t find a way to secure that gourd, then you may as well adorn it with a sign asking local pranksters and troublemakers to heist it. Matthew Murraine doesn’t seem to understand this truth and he’s extremely bitter that late last week, someone stole the plump pumpkin he had ben growing for months at his home in Spearfish, South Dakota. Murraine wants to know who swiped his large orange sphere in a crime he believes was carefully planned. "They backed right up to the house. That's pretty brazen," he said. "They brought a saw. You could see on the stem where they had cut.” The pumpkin was quite the spectacle, growing as 2 inches per day, which Murraine said was fascinating "in a nerdy pumpkin grower kind of way." To sum it up, you have a self-professed nerd with a gaudy, unnaturally large pumpkin for which he has no security and this guy is shocked that someone stole it? According to Murraine, the pumpkin still had a month of growing time left and would have reached about 120 pounds. "It dwarfed my daughter, and she is 3," he said.  "I want them to felt guilty about taking (it) from kids.” Yes, because your daughter’s world will never be the same without that pumpkin. It would definitely hurt after giving the gourd 20 gallons of water every four days and a gallon of milk each week for calcium, but losing its estimated value of $200 isn't the sort of loss that should shake anyone’s world to its foundation……….


- Andrew McCutchen is missing the point entirely. McCutchen, who made four All-Star teams and won a National League MVP award over his first six seasons in the majors, shaved off his trademark dreadlocks in March, eschewing the look that had been but one part of his awesome persona as a cornerstone of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ resurgence the past three seasons. He became so well-known for his dreadlocks that the social media reaction to his March haircut was disturbingly over-the-top. Sure, he donated the dreadlocks to charity, but being able to successfully rock dreadlocks is something not everyone can do. It was an epic look for an amazing all-around player, so clearly it was a one-time thing and the dreadlocks will soon return, right? Nope. "Never bringing them back," McCutchen said. "Never. All it was, for myself, was a haircut. I know for other people, it probably meant more because that was my trademark. But if my hair was my trademark, and that's the reason people know me, that means I suck at baseball." My man, you couldn’t be more wrong. People didn’t know you solely from your dreads, but they were patt of what made you awesome. Seeing a dude mash 425-foot home runs with his long locks whipping around behind him as he swang and jogged around the bases made for a great sight and getting rid of them was a bad call. Need more evidence? McCutchen batted just .194 in April this season and while he insisted his new ‘do had nothing to do with his slow start, McCutchen is deceiving himself. Sadly, he plans to continue getting it cut every time the Pirates' team barber visits the clubhouse and the world is a worse place for it………


- While the rest of Europe is dealing with one fiscal crisis after another, one of the most financially stable nations on the continent is so flush with cash that one of its leaders is literally advocating the abandonment of a troubled new airport project in favor of starting the project all over. Lawmaker Jens Koeppen, a member of Chancellor Angela Merkel's party, has seen just about enough of the river of euros poured into the Berlin Brandenburg Airport and with the new facility years behind schedule and billions of euros over budget, Koeppen has an explosive idea for dealing with the problem. He wants to tear down what exists of the new airport and start anew. The lawmaker said that in the effort to stop wasting money and start real progress toward a functional, modern airport  all options should be considered, including building an entirely new airport. "If there are problems that can't be solved, and that's clearly the case, then one needs to admit defeat and get off the dead horse," Koeppen said. Not exactly a clean execution of that metaphor, but perhaps something got lost in the translation. Beating a dead horse is what you were going for here, but riding a dead horse is also a rather fruitless endeavor. For now, the tear-down option doesn’t appear to be under consideration, as current plans to open the airport in the fall of 2017 are in doubt after authorities last week closed part of the site due to fears a roof could collapse. The government hasn’t officially revised that timeline in light of this new development, but the sight of having the whole structure torn down is something very few are likely to have the stomach for……..


- Every band needs to find a niche if it’s going to be successful long term. Whether it’s amazing live shows, outlandish antics, insightful lyrics or something else, a band needs to give fans a consistent, reliable reason to continue supporting them as the years go by. Duran Duran has been holding it down for more than two decades and despite being well past their prime, they continue to sell albums and draw fans to shows. How do they do it? According to Simon Le Bon, one of the big reasons for his band’s popularity is that women love Duran Duran and when you have a lot of attractive women showing up for your concerts, the dudes are bound to follow.  "The s. They might not have liked us when they walked in, but by the end of the concert they had a bit of affection for Duran Duran,” Le Bon said. “Some bands are really happy with being a band that people have to sit down and get stoned to. But, you know, I like to get people up and dancing. There's a lot to be said for being a party band. It's a hell of a lot of fun." Coincidentally, Duran Duran just released its 14th studio album earlier this month and serving up a great quote like, “Smart guys went to Duran Duran concerts because that's where the girls were,” is a great way to generate more attention for the project. It’s also a not-so-subtle humble brag that allows Le Bon to remind everyone that lots and lots of hot chicks are fans of his band and therefore, Duran Duran have had plenty of chances for some, um, free affection after shows around the world in the past few years. Enjoy the final few minutes of your time in the spotlight, S., because aged-out rockers have to fade away at some point……..

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