- We’re
surrounded by morons, world. Never forget it. Just when you think that you’ve
got a lot of really smart folks out there when you drive on the highway or shop
at the store, think of brain-dead, IQ-deprived ass hats like the man who stopped at a Michigan gas station and started a fire that
could have made himself and everyone in the area go boom. The best way to
appreciate this idiot’s sheer stupidity is to peruse surveillance video from
the Center Line gas station, which shows flames quickly engulfing the man’s car
and the gas pump when he….wait for it….tried to kill a spider with a cigarette
lighter. Yes, this man was standing mere feet from hundreds of gallons of
highly flammable and combustible material and he thought, “Hell, there’s a
spider and I don’t like spiders, so rather than kill it with my foot, or smash
it with a paper towel from the nearby gas station utility stand, or find a
blunt object from inside his vehicle with which to obliterate this creepy
crawler, I’ll try to torment the spider by burning it to death using an open
flame! Brilliant!” This fool later told authorities he spotted a spider on his
gas tank and pulled out his lighter to get rid of it, which doesn’t really make
any of this any better. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the man was able to put
out the flames with a fire extinguisher. The true shocker is that he didn’t try
to fill an open container with gas and douse the fire to put it out……….
- In
the late-night talk show wars, the race is on for three of the genre’s newest
faces to make their mark. Jimmy Fallon has his gimmicks and original bits,
Stephen Colbert has transitioned well into hosting “The Late Show” and the man
who occupies the time slot after Colbert on CBS has….umm….he’s James Corden? Corden,
side from being British, isn't all that distinctive and for that reason, maybe
it’s good that when Disclosure makes a trip to Los
Angeles this week to perform its brand of electronic/dance music, Corden will
hold down production duties. The siblings are set to perform “Caracal” and tabbing Corden to produce is a bit
surprising since the new “Late Late Show” host has a light musical background, including
work on Rizzle Kicks 2011 video for 'Mama Do The Hump' and with Dizzee Rascal on
2010 track 'Shout.’ Corden is known much more for his television and theatre
work and he’s actually won several awards in those fields. "I'm excited
to work with American Express and Disclosure to produce my first live music
event. Howard and Guy are extremely talented individuals who have taken the
world by storm with their music, and I am privileged to be able to create a
memorable experience for their fans,” Corden said of his producing hold down
the 12:35 a.m. time slot on CBS for the rest of his broadcasting life………
- Want
to piss off an entire nation with one simple statement? Blame them for one of
the biggest, bloodiest and most violent conflicts in the history of humanity and
see how they react. The Russian ambassador to
Poland decided that was a good approach to take a blowtorch to the collective
pride of the nation in which he represents his home country by foisting a large
chunk of the blame for World War II on Poland. Ties ‘twixt the two Slavic
nations have worsened considerably in recent months and when Russian Ambassador
Sergey Andreev said the Soviet Union's invasion of Poland in 1939 was not an
aggression, it didn’t take long for the Poles to react. The Polish Foreign
Ministry said Saturday that Andreev "undermined historical truth" and
seemed to be trying to justify Stalinist crimes. Trying to defend Joseph Stalin
is a notoriously losing proposition and given that World War II began after
Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union sealed a pact in 1939 that included a secret
provision to carve up Poland, blaming Poland for starting the war is a bit like
blaming a homeowner whose house was just robbed and wrecked for their role in
the crime because, you know, had they not built that house and lived in it,
then there would have been no way for that robbery to occur. Germany and the Soviets
did a tag-team invasion of Poland, with Germany rolling in from the west to
start the festivities and a Soviet invasion from the east 16 days later.
Millions of Poles were killed in the war and it remains an extremely painful
time for a very prideful nation, so Andreev a) knew exactly what he was doing
and b) clearly did it on purpose………
- Former
No. 1 pick Anthony Bennett is the NBA’s version of the pack of Mentos and stick
of beef jerky that the forgetful slacker in your friend group purchases on his
way to your holiday white elephant gift exchange because he totally forgot
about buying a gift. Bennett was the top pick of the 2013 draft by the Cleveland
Cavaliers, but showed up for camp out of shape as a rookie and even after
improving his fitness level somewhat, he was traded to Minnesota in the Kevin
Love deal in the summer of 2014. Given a fresh start in an even more frigid
wasteland than Cleveland, he struggled with injuries in his lone season with
the Timberwolves and despite a slightly increased scoring average, he was
placed on waivers this week. Shockingly, for a player once thought of highly
enough to be picked above every other available player in the draft went
unclaimed and all 30 NBA teams were notified at 5 p.m. ET on Friday that
Bennett had cleared waivers. In light of that development, Bennett walked away
from the Minnesota Timberwolves with a $3.65 million buyout and the word on the
street is that he is expected to sign early this week with the Toronto Raptors.
Toronto makes some sense for the native Canadian, but even being the lone NBA
team in his home country isn't going to buy him much goodwill if he continues
to disappoint on the court. Bennett did enjoy a strong summer with the Canadian
national team and going home could be what he needs to kick-start his career
after rough stints with the Cavaliers and Timberwolves, but when Minnesota attempted
to deal prior to its release, it couldn’t find a single taker. That’s a
precipitous fall in the span of two years and has sparked talk that Bennett
could be the biggest NBA draft bust ever, which is not a label you want affixed
to your name……….
No comments:
Post a Comment