- There’s
something to be said for taking advantage of the opportunities life presents to
you. That something, at least in this case, is that you’re a dishonest and
disreputable scumbag who allegedly played a key
role in trafficking chimpanzees and other endangered wildlife when your job
title was Guinea's wildlife director . Meet Ansoumane Doumbouya, who was also Guinea's
representative to the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species, a
man once tasked with protecting endangered species and other cute critters and
chose to use that power to line his pockets with loads of cash. According to the
Great Apes Survival Partnership, Doumbouya was arrested Aug. 21 and faces up to
10 years in prison if convicted. But let’s not jump to conclusions here because
it’s not as if dude was carrying blank official export permits when arrested…oh
wait, he was? Dammit. In fact, Doumbouya allegedly issued fraudulent CITES
permits for years to export wildlife, including manatees, parrots and monkeys. The
good news for this scumbag when it comes to trying to defend himself against
these charges is that no one is sure how many chimpanzees and other apes he
moved illegally over the past seven years. On the downside, his arrest doesn’t really
reflect well on the CITES, a partnership which is a U.N. initiative bringing
together governments, conservation and research organizations and private
companies. It was a nice scam while it lasted, but the fact remains that you
either cash out when it’s wise or you hang on too long and end up in handcuffs………
- Nice
try, Anthony Horowitz. Horowitz, in case you had no
idea who the hell he is, is the author of the latest James Bond novel “Trigger Mortis.” That really wouldn’t
matter because no one knows or cares who the hell writes Bond novels; they
merely care about the stories once they get made into movies and about who is
chosen to play the title role. But for now, we all care about who Horowitz is because
he decided that rumors that Idris Elba might be chosen to play Bond in a future
film were so awful that he had to chime in. Elba is the leading candidate for
the next movie in the moneymaking franchise, but if Horowitz were the one
making the decision, he wouldn’t be. "For me, Idris Elba is a bit too
rough to play the part," Horowitz said. "It's not a color issue. I
think he is probably a bit too 'street' for Bond. Is it a question of being
suave? Yeah." Nice save, Tony. Trying to throw everyone off the
scent of your racism by tossing the word suave into the mix always works.
Something tells me you wouldn’t be dissing a Hispanic or Asian actor for the
role by calling them too street and no one has ever called a single white actor
in Hollywood “too street,” so this sounds a lot like you being racist against
black people. Predictably, those words came back to bite Horowitz and led to
him apologizing for that previous statement. That the statement came on
Twitter and did little more than apologize for his choice of words cheapens it
further, so maybe a better apology is forthcoming……….
- Is
this the new ubiquitous, lame, overused and insanely annoying Las Vegas
catchphrase that literally everyone will be using even though it totally isn’t
accurate? Here’s hoping not. For years, "What
Happens Here, Stays Here” has been the tagline for all things Vegas, but the
Southern Nevada Water Authority is hoping that a new slogan by R&R
Partners, the firm behind Vegas' most famous tagline, will finally make water
conservation sexy. The humorous campaign includes television, radio, print and
social media and it carries the slogan, "There's Nothing Sexier Than Saving
Water." In the drought-ridden West, could ads depicting people adjusting
watering clocks as members of the opposite sex ogle with lust be the answer?
No, but the ads coincide with the new fall restrictions that began Tuesday and
through Oct. 31, limit watering to three days a week and prohibits sprinklers
during the day and misting systems at businesses. The problem with this
campaign is that Vegas isn't even original, as San Francisco already has sexy
water conservation adds urging residents
to go "full-frontal" and take short, steamy showers. Spokesman Scott
Huntley tried to scrape the egg of his city’s face by claiming that the new Las
Vegas campaign was developed over the last year and that Nevada officials were
not aware of San Francisco's recent ads. The Nevada water agency has tried
plenty of compliance promotions for seasonal transitions over the years, many
humorous even though violators are first given warnings before fines start at
$100, exceeding $1,000 for repeat offenders. The campaigns cost a cool $1.6
million annually in a desert area that has been in drought for years. "We
were the first to the game on this. We've had a tremendous amount of success
that's being emulated in other places," Huntley said. Whatever makes you
feel better about your lame-ass idea, Vegas. Just don’t expect this one to
become Sin City’s next great cultural export…………
- Is
this a Major League Baseball clubhouse or a third grade classroom? While most
of us are done with chickenpox before we hit junior high and contract them from
Joey in Mrs, Martin’s art class, Kansas City Royals All-Star pitcher Kelvin
Herrera and right fielder Alex Rios are going through that tough time of
itching, scratching and quarantine as not only adults, but as millionaire
professional athletes. These two are paid a hell of a lot of money to hold down
roster spots for one of baseball’s best teams, but they will likely miss a
couple of weeks as the season wraps up after experiencing symptoms over the
weekend and being sent home from Tampa Bay. Not only that, their diagnoses have
raised concerns that others on the AL Central-leading team may have been
exposed and the last thing manager Ned Yost and his team need with the playoffs
nearing is to have a bunch of pock-marked MLB stars who can't play because
they’ve trade their normal mitts for oven mitts on their hands to keep them
from scratching their wounds. As anyone with children knows, the disease is
highly contagious, spread through the air via coughing or sneezing and
sometimes by touching. Its symptoms of a blister-like rash, fever and fatigue
don’t typically make one an affective outfielder or relief pitcher, so it’s
probably best that Herrera and Rios have been temporarily expelled from their
own team. After all, chickenpox can be serious for people with weakened immune
systems and so the Royals have reached out to players, coaches and their
families to determine whether anyone else has had or may be at risk. For now,
one thing that isn't at risk is the Royals’ playoff chances, as their
double-digit lead in the AL Central is virtually unassailable, even by one of
childhood’s most dreaded illnesses………..
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