- Conspiracy
theories are always awesome and the more ridiculous they are, the better. They
go up a whole other level when the person espousing them is the leader of a
developed nation who is making outrageous claims like saying he invented the
question mark. Enter Venezuelan President Nicolas
Maduro, who is accusing enemies in Colombia of trying to assassinate him as
both countries prepare to spar at the Organization of American States over an
increasingly tense border dispute. Turning an international event into a forum
to promote your insane theories of espionage and assassination is totally a
Venezuelan despot move and somewhere, Maduro’s mentor Hugo Chavez is looking
down on all of this and smiling as a single happy tear drops from his eye. Maduro
claimed during a visit to Vietnam that the conspiracy has the consent of
Colombia's government and yes, you read that right, Vietnam is tangentially
involved in all of this. Like so many conspiracy theory kooks, Maduro didn't
present any evidence to back the claim but said he would soon. Take all of this
with very little gravity, as Maduro and his Colombian counterpart Juan Manuel
Santos have been trading verbal shots ever since last week's expulsion of more
than 1,000 Colombians living illegally in Venezuela. In true Maduro fashion,
the dictator accuses the migrants of being behind a wave of crime and smuggling
along the border. The fact that diplomats from the two countries addressed
representatives from 34 Western Hemisphere nations at an OAS emergency meeting
Monday in Washington to discuss the border crisis felt like an afterthought
given the show ol’ Hugo is putting on………..
- We
can't tell if you abused your estranged wife or not, so come on back to work
and get paid to beat the hell out of people. Give the Ultimate Fighting
Championship credit for really cracking down on one of its fighters, Travis
Brown, after his estranged wife, Jenna Renee Webb, posted a series of photos on
Instagram showing multiple bruises to her arms, legs, neck and face. UFC
smacked Brown with a very punitive temporary suspension, conducted an
investigation into Brown’s estranged wife’s claims of domestic violence and
found….“inconclusive evidence.” UFC
officials temporarily suspended Browne and launched that “independent
investigation” after Webb posted her photos that she captioned, “Probably one
of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made was walking away from this life and
starting over. I’m still ashamed for saying as long as I did.” She tagged that
with a broken heart emoticon followed by the hashtag #domesticviolenceawareness
and while no one should ever belittle domestic violence in any way, you
probably want to leave the emoticons out of the mix. UFC announced that Brown’s
ban had been lifted following the investigation into the allegations, which was
conducted by a former FBI agent with
more than 25 years of experience. It was a seven-week investigation that included
interviews with multiple subjects associated with Browne and Webb, as well as
interviews with Browne and Webb themselves. In the end, UFC and its retired FBI
agent getting a big check from Dana White simply couldn’t reach a definitive
conclusion into what happened, but the company promised that “if proven true
with facts, it will result in swift action on our part.” Whatever you say,
professional men and women of violence………..
- Is
six months behind bars - likely to be shortened with good behavior because
overcrowded prisons mean that even the worst of the worst don’t always serve
their full sentence - a fair trade for literally taking a bite out of the dude
who was plowing your wife behind your back? It’s a question to ask Virgil Bates III of Toledo, the man who skyrocketed the
über-temporary fame when he bit off part of his wife's lover's ear after
finding them in bed together. Given the circumstances, going Mike Tyson to his
wife’s lover’s Evander Holyfield is a relatively mild reaction. For that
reaction, Bates has been sentenced to six months in a correctional treatment
center and in a sad twist, he must also pay the victim $5,600 and spend four
months in a work-release program. A court ordering a man to give money to a man
who was having an affair with his wife is just wrong no matter what. Bates pleaded
guilty to aggravated assault this month and was sentenced this week. According
to police, Bates confronted his wife and her lover in June, leading to a fight.
He told the judge during his trial that the man bit his arm during the fight,
prompting him to bite back. The judge didn’t seem to buy that tale and also
seemed more swayed by the fact that the missing ear part couldn't be
reattached. The best part of all of this is that Bates and his wife had been
separated for two years, but have since reconciled. Apparently having a man
willing to cannibalize her lover’s ear is the sort of thing that wins this
woman’s heart………
- Hopefully
Zac Efron cashed that check from Warner Bros. because right about now, the
studio could put a stop payment on that b’otch if he hasn’t. That’s the natural
reaction when you green light one of the worst movie ideas in ages and that
movie suffers the worst opening weekend for a major
film playing in more than 2,000 movie theatres. Let’s begin with the good news.
“We Are Your Friends” had a budget of $6 million, so it’s not as if the studio
invested “Avengers” money in the movie only to see it gross $1.8 million in its
opening weekend. For those who don’t know, the movie is set in the electronic
dance music (EDM) world and features Efron, who plays an aspiring DJ trying to
make it in the EDM world. His fake DJ success attracts the attention of an older,
more established DJ (Interstellar's
Wes Bentley), who becomes his mentor. Oh, but the heart wants what the heart
wants and Efron effs it all up by falling for his mentor's girlfriend (Emily
Ratajkowski, who starred in Robin Thicke's 'Blurred Lines' video) and so he is
forced to make some tough calls about his career and his love life. Only those
in the EDM world likely know that the movie is named after Justice vs. Simian's
2006 dance hit 'We Are Your Friends' and those same tweakers were clearly too
busy to go see the movie and its cameos from real-life EDM DJs Alesso, Dillon
Francis, Nicky Romero and Them Jeans. "This was a passion project for Zac
Efron, and we believe in him. Yes, the result was disappointing, but this was a
small film,” Warner Bros. executive Jeff Goldstein said. Oh, all right then. A
passion project? Right, because studios love investing in those……….
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