- Netflix was doing so well. The video streaming service had
expanded its offerings to include its own original content and some of those
offerings received great reviews. The prospect of a new Pee-wee Herman movie co-produced by
Judd Apatow is not likely to be one of those heralded productions. The film,
titled “Pee-wee's Big Holiday,”
will premiere exclusively on Netflix in all territories in which the streaming
service is available. It will bring back noted pedophile and former children’s
television star Paul Reubens will return as his alter ego Pee-wee Herman and
also serve as a producer alongside Apatow. "As a fan of Pee-wee Herman
since he first appeared on The Dating
Game, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with the brilliant
Paul Reubens on this film. It is a dream come true," Apatow said in a
release promoting the film. “In Pee-wee's
Big Holiday, a fateful meeting with a mysterious stranger inspires Pee-wee
Herman to take his first-ever holiday in this epic story of friendship and
destiny." Good, but make sure you keep any and all children who appear in
the movie away from Herman and never allow him to be alone with any of them at
any time….and make sure that freak keeps screaming his Word of the Day at
random intervals while talking to inanimate objects that have been given both
names and faces. John Lee, behind the camera on numerous episodes of sitcoms “Broad City” and “Inside Amy Schumer,” will direct
this farce beginning next month using a script co-written by Reubens and “Arrested Development” scribe Paul
Rust. What a dumpster fire of a trip down memory lane this should be……….
- World, Mexico is giving you a road map for how to make
people give a damn about your political elections and if you’re smart, you’ll
follow it. Even if the reasoning Mexico is using doesn’t apply to many
countries, the concept it plans to use to combat its political problems
translates. It seems that Mexico’s political parties are worried that the
populace is losing faith in their ability to pick candidates who aren't linked
to drug cartels, so the National Regeneration Movement party decided to do something
about the issue. To restore faith in its transparency and ability to choose candidates
without ties to drug gangs, violence or corruption, the party went Powerball.
In other words, party officials had some 3,000 vetted hopefuls put their names
in a drum and after a few hearty spins, they picked out the names of 200 people
who will run as candidates were pulled out at random. This idea will supposedly
squash the trend of people with links to cartels getting parties to allow them
to run for office in Mexico by promising to pay for their own campaigns. Before
you scoff at the notion of a candidate lotto, just know that within the past
week, a rival party dropped from its candidates list a woman whose husband is a
former mayor who was arrested for allegedly protecting a drug cartel. Yes,
picking candidates the same way they pick winning numbers every Thursday night
when your grandmother plays Bingo at the local VFW isn't exactly credible or
respectable, but if the alternative is a candidate nose-deep in drug money,
then maybe a giant Drum O’ Candidates isn’t such an awful plan……….
- Chris Rainey, you have company. Rainey made headlines back
in 2010 while a football player at the University of Florida for texting the
words, “Time to die, b*tch,” to a woman with whom he had a relationship – while
the police were with the woman investigating claims that Rainey had threatened
her. Now-former Louisville guard Chris Jones, who was dismissed from the
program on Sunday, didn’t go quite as far as Rainey, but he’s the same sort of
d-bag who threatens women via text message and it cost him his spot at the
university. According to police, Jones sent a threatening text message to a
woman with whom he has had a relationship for much of the past year, vowing to "smack
TF out of" her, with "TF" interpreted to mean "the f-ck,"
after she messed up his room on the afternoon of Feb. 17. After the woman
reported the text to police, Louisville coach Rick Pitino suspended Jones for
the Cardinals' game the next day at Syracuse. Jones was reinstated and scored
17 points in a win over Miami, but was gone again after that and following Louisville's
52-51 victory Monday night at Georgia Tech, Pitino said, “Unfortunately, we've
got to move on. They're like your children. You don't like to see anybody be
hurt. But there's also accountability and doing the right things. He didn't.” Predictably,
the woman decided not to prosecute Jones and instead, he plans to meet with
noted basketball player rehabilitator John Lucas to work on his anger
management issues. Some time away from the ol’ iPhone might be beneficial as
well……….
- Want to take one of those cool-looking Viking
River Cruises through Europe and cruise down the Rhine or the Rhone to see
majestic river valleys, historic churches and majestic mountains, but feel like
now is not the best time to go trekking across the globe? You should probably
get over your fear of leaving the country, but if you can't, Viking has a new,
domestic way to charge you a sh*t-ton of money to spend a week or more aboard a
boat with hundreds of strangers. The European river cruise company is preparing
to launch an American branch of its operations and set sail on the Mississippi
River, taking folks from New Orleans north to Memphis, St. Louis and St. Paul,
Minnesota, depending on the season. Gov. Bobby Jindal and Viking officials
announced that New Orleans will be the first North American home port for the
cruise line and a fired-up Jindal – dollar signs dancing in his eyes –
proclaimed that will mean hundreds of jobs and a boost to the city's tourism
industry. Viking is expected to begin offering cruises from New Orleans in 2017
and in order to make this nautical wet dream a reality, the company plans to
build six boats capable of hosting up to 300 passengers for the new American
cruises. Until then, it will continue to offer tours in Europe and Asia and
seek more venues in which to continue its rapid expansion of recent years.
River cruising has also surged of late, possibly because it means people don’t have
to ship out to sea on a vessel that is a floating biohazard and possible fire
risk and can be much closer to shore should anything go wrong and force them to
evacuate rather than face a week or more without working toilets…………
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