Friday, February 13, 2015

Hookers steal cops' guns, the Sacramento Kings are a hot mess and Kanye West + Will Smith


- Nooooooooooooooo. There is no good news to be found within the revelation that Will Smith’s sad excuse for a music career may soon be revived and the architect of that revival is none other than Mr. Awards Show Ass Hat himself, Kanye West. Smith, who last released new music in 2005 when he dropped his already-forgotten album “Lost and Found,” confirmed that he has been collaborating on new material West, nearly two years after dropping hints that he and the egomaniacal tool who doubles as walking publicity stunt Kim Kardashian’s red carpet arm candy were working together. The two men were photographed together in a studio in Brazil and Smith tried to downplay the news, saying that he was merely "messing around with Kanye.” If that didn’t sell people on his story, Smith added that he and West only went to the studio “a couple of times,” intimating that they hadn't done anything substantial. Somewhere along the way in the past two years, that seems to have changed and now, unfortunately, the auteur of “Big Willie Style” is contemplating ending his 10-year long hiatus. "I went into the studio with Kanye. I'm thinking about it. I'm exploring,” Smith said while in London this week promoting his new con man movie “Focus.” "I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but I'm exploring. I'm in a creative ceiling. My son tells me I have to write out the things I don't like. I can't write and stop, I have to keep going and going and write them out. I've never worked like that before but I think I might give that a shot." Great, because the best rappers and albums are the product of 50-something dudes taking input from their kids. Factor in West’s indefensibly large ego and well, the Fresh Prince is about to drop a royal turd in the punch bowl……..


- Tiny apartments jammed into inhospitable spaces in Manhattan are one thing, but in Poland? Sadly, the trend of downsizing domiciles has crossed the Atlatnic and perhaps reached a new apex in Warsaw, where a new building is taking the idea of shrinking your living space to extremes. Polish architect Jakub Szczesny came up with the idea for Keret House six years ago when he happened across what he described as a narrow “yet appealing cushion of air” between two actual buildings fit for people to live in. It was not so different from the open areas between buildings in so many major cities, places where trash is tossed and people go to escape while doing something illegal or sleep if they have nowhere else to go. Inspiration struck and over the ensuing six years, Szczesny worked his way through all manner of bureaucratic red tape as he wormed his way toward permission to build within the empty space. He finally found a German construction company to put his blueprint together and building began several years ago. The structure was completed in 2012 and was available for use by traveling writers. National law reportedly describes it as an art installation, but an Israeli writer who stayed there confirmed that the building is fully functional even though it gets as narrow as 48 inches in some spots. The two-story aluminum and plastic house is wedged between a pre-war house and a modern apartment block in downtown Warsaw, funded by the Foundation of Polish Modern Art and Warsaw Town Hall. Thanks to metal pipes, the entire structure is elevated 10 feet off the ground, with entry possible by climbing a metal staircase and easing through a small hole. On the ground floor, there is a toilet, shower, small kitchen with a sink and cupboards, a small table and a bean bag chair. Up a metal ladder is the second floor, complete with a nearly double-size bed, a table and a chair. In Szczesny’s mind, it links the tragic history of Warsaw during World War II and the present. Because he’s only there twice a year, the building is open for others to try out from here on out………..


- The revolving door outside the Sacramento Kings’ head coach’s office hasn’t stopped spinning since indecisive owner Vivek Ranadive took over 21 months ago and more than a few people around the NBA have a beef with how the Kings are doing business these days. As the Kings prepare to welcome their fourth head coach during Ranadive’s short tenure, Detroit Pistons coach Stan Van Gundy is rather unhappy with the manner in which Sacramento treated interim coach Tyrone Corbin in the process of bringing in new head coach George Karl. The Kings announced Thursday that Corbin has been relieved of his duties after 26 games and will be cast aside in favor of Karl after All-Star Weekend. Corbin didn’t exactly set the world afire, going 7-19, and Karl is one of just six coaches in NBA history with 1,100 career wins, but that did little to dissuade Van Gundy. Porn star Ron Jeremy’s doppelganger said the Kings have made a mockery of their "very public" pursuit of and it's "inexcusable" how they've treated Corbin. "I think it's an unfortunate situation the way it's been handled," Van Gundy said. "I think Tyrone Corbin has been treated very, very poorly by their organization. I think the way they've treated him is unfortunate and inexcusable for one of the real class acts in our business. In one of the thinnest and most transparent offerings of B.S. by an organization, Kings general manager Pete D'Alessandro praised the job that Corbin had done since replacing Mike Malone, who was fired in mid-December. I have the utmost respect for Tyrone as a coach and person," D'Alessandro said in a statement. "He's a man of great integrity, a consummate professional that managed a difficult situation with class and professionalism.” Amazingly, Corbin will remain with the Kings in an advisory capacity in what should be a not-at-all-awkward work environment in the days and weeks ahead. Amazingly, the Kings hit the All-Star break at 18-34, nowhere near the playoffs……..


- Hooker 1, Skeevy Cop 0. Welcome to Kensington, California, where town officials are requesting an independent investigation into how a police sergeant allegedly had his gun stolen by a prostitute at a Nevada hotel room. Specifically, officials want to know how their police chief handled the investigation into Sgt. Keith Barrow letting a lady of the night go sticky fingers on his gun while he slept.  The missing weapon became a bit of a problem the next day when the prostitute's pimp shot himself in the leg with it during an altercation at a pawnshop. To recap, a cop leaves his gun out in the open and has a pro in his hotel room, letting her make off with the gun and give it to her pimp, who tries to fence it and can't even make it through the simple illegal sale of a weapon without trying to shoot someone. Barrow's attorney, Justin Buffington, confirmed that his client will serve a suspension from the department, while the Kensington town board said "the due process requirements could have proceeded in a more timely manner." "People have this impression that something wasn't done right, and we're admitting in the statement that things could have proceeded at a more rapid pace," Board President Len Welsh said. Wow, what a stunning and not at all wordy, hollow proclamation, Lenny. Police Chief Greg Harman is at the center of this mess that has called a lot of unwanted attention to a small, upscale community bordering Berkeley in the San Francisco Bay Area. According to police reports, the gun was stolen after Barrow paid the hooker $70 for sex. That’s a problem because prostitution is legal in Nevada, but only in licensed brothels. Amazingly, Barrow was not cited in the case. Buffington claimed his client may have been drugged and the town board allowed him to keep working after Harman determined that allowing him to continue working during the investigation did not pose a risk to the community. Right, because a sloppy and horny cop who can't keep his gun holstered is never an issue………

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