- There was no way it was going to last, but that doesn’t
make the amazing reappearance of the PGA Tour’s resident wild man at the top of
a tournament leaderboard any less awesome. John Daly, who has drank and drugged
his way around the tour over the years and picked up a series of troublesome
wives as he traversed the country in a pimped-out mobile home, hasn’t recorded
an official tour win since triumphing at Torrey Pines in 2004. Yet there he was after the first round of the AT&T
Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, one shot off the lead after firing a 7-under 65.
He ended the day one shot behind J.B. Holmes and Justin Hicks after a memorable
round of golf along the Monterey Peninsula, recording his best opening round on
the PGA Tour in nearly 10 years, The only thing he’s won lately – other than an
exhibition in Turkey last year – has been the pity of people who marvel at his
immense talent but lament his inability to keep his personal life and golf
career from coming off the tracks. He’s still a two-time major champion, but a
tournament volunteer still expressed mild shock when Daly completed his round. Of
course, in true Daly form, he chased that effort with a 1-over 72 Friday and
fell six shots off the lead, but no one can take away his best start since a 64
in the Byron Nelson Championship in 2005. Life at Pebble Beach has rarely been
kind to Daly, who tied for 20th at Pebble Beach in his rookie season in 1991
and he hadn't made the cut in 10 tries since then. "That wouldn't shock
me," Daly said after his first round. "I still haven't made it
yet." He actually did make the cut this year and did so while wearing the
screaming-loud Loudmouth pants from his own attire line. Overcoming those
hideous, multi-colored pantaloons to miss only three fairways and need just 26
putts for the round was a fantastic feat, even if there was never any chance to
Daly hoisting the trophy on Sunday………
- There are many indicators that something is wrong with the
world. None are as loud or undeniable as a 222-meter-long (728 feet) yacht
being built for $1 billion simply because some arrogant prick wants a boat so
big that none of his fellow conspicuous consumption friends can top it. Meet "Triple
Deuce," set to be the world's biggest super yacht at a cost that dwarfs
the gross domestic product of noted world powers like Micronesia, Western
Sahara and the British Virgin Islands. With all the integrity and character
you’d expect, the owner of this waste of space, money and energy is choosing to
remain anonymous for fear that peasants everywhere will revolt and find a way
to get his head on a pike so it can be paraded through the town square as it
should be. The opulence and wastefulness of the yacht is all about
"boasting rights," said Craig Timm of 4Yacht, broker of the
record-breaking project. "It's just like the competition to build the
world's tallest building. When finished, Triple D-Bag will be the most
expensive private yacht ever built, which should happen some time in the spring
of 2018. According to Timm, the bill will top out at $1.2 billion, which
doesn’t even count the projected $20 to $30 million annual operating costs –
plus the filthy blight it will cast on all of humanity merely for being in a
world where a colossal waste like this exists. All that seems to matter of the
unidentified ass hat who will own this monument to ridiculous excess is that
his or her new toy will be more than 130 feet longer than the world's current
biggest superyacht, "Azzam," believed to be owned by the President of
the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan. Never mind that
$1.2 billion could feed so many of the world’s hungry or provide medical and
other vital services to Third World countries because dammit, rich people need
to chill on a yacht with a master suite that is two stories and stretches across 275 square meters -- including a private gym. Rich people,
you suck donkey balls……….
- Waffles, Beck? You win an effing Grammy, you withstand the
sh*t storm of Kanye West’s latest act of awards show d-baggery and your gift to
the people who helped you win Album of the Year is a damn food truck serving
waffles? Sadly, the rumors are true. After winning his Grammy and having West
go moron with another bum-rushing of a stage, Beck treated staff at his record label to a
waffle breakfast. An email sent out by Beck and Silva Artist Management
confirmed that a truck filled with food from Waffles De Liege would be at
Capitol Records Friday morning. "Dictionary.com defines WAFFLE as 'to
speak or write equivocally' …but it is with NO equivocation that we say THANK
YOU for everyone's hard work in helping 'Morning Phase' to win not only the
Grammy for 'Best Rock Album' but also for the 'ALBUM OF THE YEAR.' It was a
great night and it's a victory that we all share,” the email read. “As a means
of keeping the celebration going just a little bit longer, we're sending over
our friends from the Waffles De Liege food truck tomorrow morning." Great,
so you’re sending over a mountain of calories on wheels rather than having an
upscale restaurant cater the celebration for “Morning Phase,” which is a quick
and easy way of knocking out something that should take time and effort and
involve Beck getting up at a podium and delivering a heartfelt speech that
doesn’t end with the industry’s biggest attention whore and one of its
most-overrated acts hijacking the mic and trying to mac on Jay-Z’s lady again
by insisting that her canned, overproduced pop music was once again better than
the efforts of the person who actually won the award. But hey, at least Beck
didn’t send over a couple of hot dog carts, so there is that………..
- Congratulations, Judaism. The rest of us thought that the
Catholic Church had cornered the market on sexual impropriety by the men tasked
with shepherding its flock, but if the actions of Rabbi Barry Freundel are any
indication, then the Jews may have a few questions of their own to answer about
why those in charge are abusing their power to get their freak on. According to
prosecutors, the right rabbi is accused of secretly videotaping more than
150 nude women at a Jewish ritual bath. In the first revelation of the extent
of Freundel’s freakery, authorities filled in some of the blanks for victims in
a meeting at the U.S. Attorney's Office in Washington. As usually happens with
secret meetings containing information that isn't supposed to go public, it
took less than 12 hours for the details to go public. Freundel was initially charged
with voyeurism late last year, but at that point the case hinged on the
accusations of recordings of six women. At the time, prosecutors indicated that
there were more victims in the case, but nothing they leaked suggested that the
number was so much higher and the damage so much more extensive. This may not
be on the level of the sexual abuse by Catholic priests over the years and
maybe there isn't an epidemic of ritual bath nudity peeping tom-ism, but it’s
fair to say that this doesn’t cast a favorable like on the Jewish faith. Here’s
hoping this is a case of one sick freak abusing his authority to feed his
deviant psyche, not the tip of a much larger pervert iceberg………
No comments:
Post a Comment