Thursday, February 12, 2015

Skrillex + disco, Venezuelan judicial corruption and Bobby Petrino still = huge douche


- Justice done flipped on a Venezuelan a judge less than 24 hours after he issued what was quickly deemed to be a too-lenient sentence in a high-profile drug trafficking case. Ali Fabricio Paredes is having his judicial integrity called into question because prosecutors believe he acted unfairly in sentencing Walid Makled to 14 years in prison. The sentence drew immediate and vociferous objections from prosecutors, who say they will appeal. According to the state prosecutor's office, the judge will face charges related to favoritism in the case of the drug kingpin. Undoubtedly, legal and governmental officials were getting ready for a massive celebration after what they thought would be a long and punitive sentence for Makled, who they won the right to prosecute after his arrest in Colombia trigged a tug-of-war between their country and the United States. After both nations vied for the right to try him, he was ultimately extradited to Venezuela. Winning that fight only to lose the war when the judge – for some allegedly shady reason – whiffed on the sentencing because he was bribed/threatened/blackmailed/talked into going with just 14 years behind bars is a huge black eye for the country. Many critics quickly linked Paredes' detention to the case of Maria Lourdes Afiuni, who was jailed in 2009 after then-President Hugo Chavez objected to her freeing a banker. Her legal proceedings have dragged on for half a decade and h er ongoing trial has sparked international condemnation. This case could take just as long and one wouldn’t expect to hear or see much of Paredes any time in the near future………


- Are there two genres of music that generate more polarized responses than disco and whatever the hell it is that Skrillex does? Maybe country, maybe polka, but disco and the sounds of Skrillex are tough to top when it comes to the bile they produce. Those who run screaming from both types of music will probably want to avoid the new Tron video game soundtrack. That’s where disco producer Giorgio Moroder and Skrillex will unite, with Moroder confirming that Disney approached him to compose the music from the video game. "We have about five themes, electronic stuff and let's see if he's [Skrillex] interested in remixing or re-working one of the songs," Moroder said. Moroder actually has a lot of musical credibility to his name, having scored films such as “Scarface,” “American Gigolo” and “Flashdance,” and claimed that once he’s done with this sound track, he has an offer on the table to score a major motion picture. "I cannot tell you what, but it's… not a 150 million dollars but a big movie, big production," he added. If working with Skrillex weren't enough to irritate music fans, Moroder will also dive neck deep into pop hack Lady Gaga’s new album. The producer claimed he has five or six tracks prepared and was supposed to hit the studio with the Gagster a while ago. "I was supposed to be in the studio with [Gaga] a week ago, but I got a cold. I’ll see her when I’m back. I have about five or six tracks, just basic ideas,” he said. “Drums, keyboard, bass. I’m going to be surprised, I think – I don’t have a clue about the way she’s recording. Will she play the piano? Will I?" In the midst of these dueling projects, Moroder is also set to release his first solo album in 30 years and it will include guest spots from Kylie Minogue, Mikky Ekko, Charli XCX, Sia, and others………


- Angry dogs are sometimes beneficial for humanity. For example, a canine with an overzealous personality can be a pain in the ass if you’re a humble runner merely passing down the street some 200 feet from said canine’s home, but that same dog can pay handsome dividends if it’s on duty protecting a minimum wage-earning gas station employee when some lowlife robber comes bursting through the door looking to score a couple hundred bucks the dishonest way. That’s precisely what happened a Portland Road gas station one afternoon earlier this week. According to Saco, Maine Deputy Chief Jeffrey Holland, an unidentified suspect attempted to rob the clerk working at the station, but found more resistance than someone who’s making less than $9 an hour typically puts up against an armed assailant who is threatening to shoot them unless they surrender money that doesn’t belong to them anyhow. The clerk stood his ground and refused to hand over the money, electing to hide behind what Holland described as a "good-sized" pit bull-boxer mix. Even though the clerk was holding onto the dog, the animal lunged at the robber and struck pay dirt, biting the scumbag twice on the face and sending the man scrambling for the door and bleeding. Holland said the suspect fled in a pickup truck and is still at large, while the employee escaped unharmed due to the dog he typically brings to work with him for situations such as this. It kinda makes having to pick up whatever droppings the dog deposits around the property worth it………..


- As always, the world must never forget that Bobby Petrino is a d-bag. The man who lied about leaving one job at the University of Louisville and then bolted after insisting he wouldn’t, quit mid-season via form letter in players’ lockers on the Atlanta Falcons team he was being paid millions to coach, had an affair with a half-his-age graduate assistant and broke dozens of rules because of it while coaching the University of Arkansas and was fired only after motorcycle crash with his blonde skank left half his face on the asphalt and hasn’t been respected by anyone in a long time is at it again. Last year, Petrino – having returned to Louisville for a second stint – and his staff recruited South Carolina's Mr. Football, Dutch Fork High star running back Matt Colburn. They went after Colburn hard, throwing all of the promises at him that coaches always use on players to sell them on committing to their school for the next four years. It worked and Colburn decided to cross state lines and play for the Cardinals. He felt pretty good about that decision, right up to the point Louisville defensive coordinator Todd Grantham told him that there was no scholarship available for him in 2015. Petrino and Grantham wanted Colburn to grayshirt, delaying his enrollment until 2016. It was the ultimate d-bag move, tagged with Grantham telling Colburn that the Cardinals needed his scholarship for defensive backs after three left early for the NFL draft. It was such a d-bag move that Dutch Fork coach Tim Knotts announced that Petrino and his staff were barred from recruiting at the school. Thankfully for Colburn, Wake Forest quickly scooped him up and he will still be able to play Division I football. "It's just a blessing in disguise," Colburn said. "I have to look at it as one door closing and another door opening. It is definitely a blessing, mostly because he won't be balling for the most deceptive, despicable and soulless a-hole in college football and instead can play under men who actually have a conscience and at least try to live up to their promises once in a while……….

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