- Sure, there’s a sh*tload of problems you can blame Donald
Trump for creating, perpetuating and failing to solve for lack of common sense
and having a soul, but this seems like piling on. Full-time producer and
part-time member of the two-man musical outfit known as Gnarls Barkley Danger
Mouse has addressed recent rumors that he and bandmate CeeLo Green were about
to reunite, claiming that the reason their return as a group hasn’t happened is
Trump’s election win late last year. As Danger Mouse tells it, both he and
Green are amenable to a reunion, but they were supposed to get together on Nov.
8, only to have his world - and every other American’s world - fed a massive
turd sandwich when Trump was elected president. “I’ll say this … CeeLo and I
have always been in touch and we’ve always remained friends and still do and
always have a creative desire,” Danger Mouse said. “That was a part of our
lives that never really felt over and never really felt finished and he and I
still do discuss it a lot. So that means there’s never not been a potential in
my head, so it’s definitely a possibility.” That Nov. 8 meeting never happened because
Danger Mouse ended up “drinking heavily on a couch by myself, staring at the TV,”
which is yet another reminder that famous people are just like the rest of us -
they’re f*cked with Trump as president, with the small exception that they can
fly their private jet to Canada while the rest of us have to drive or fly
coach. Two years ago, Green said that “the people need another Gnarls Barkley
album and yet, he continues to pursue his solo career while Danger Mouse focuses
on his production work. Maybe an anti-Trump album can bring these two men back
together and God knows, there will be no shortage of famous musical faces happy
to contribute their talents to the effort…….
- Damn, South America. Someone’s angry this year. There are
riots in Paraguay over recent governmental decisions, Venezuela is trying
valiantly to overthrow despot Nicolas Maduro and now, French Guiana wants in on
the action. While the people may not be demanding a regime change immediately, protesters
have rejected a 1 billion euro government aid offer as too small to resolve
their deep, well-rooted fiscal and security problems. Protest spokesman Manuel
Jean-Baptiste explained why the South American territory needs more than the
paltry 1 billion euros currently on the table: because French Guiana needs a
nice, round 2.5 billion euros ($2.7 billion) instead. Given the territory’s
name, it makes sense that the party on the other end of this negotiating line
is France and in response to Jean-Baptiste’s lofty demand, French Prime
Minister Bernard Cazeneuve called that figure "unrealistic." Even so,
Cazeneuve held an emergency government meeting Monday in Paris to address the
demands of protesters, who are enraged over high unemployment, crime and living
costs - i.e. the same damn issues plaguing nearly every developing nation in
the world. Not only that, these dreamers are also seeking money for better
security, health care and infrastructure and to make their point, they’ve held strikes,
protests and riots in recent weeks, in the process disrupting flights, business
and even a planned rocket launch. A nice week-starting roadblock kicked off
this week and proved that you can’t buy these people off with a meager 1
billion euros……..
- It isn't summer yet, but the Summer of Gronk has begun in
earnest. That term applies to the epic, bro-tastic period of time between the
end of each NFL season and the way-too-early start of preseason activities for
the next one, a period during which New England Patriots tight end and lifelong
frat boy Rob Gronkowski engages in the best chunks of the never-ending party
that is his life. Whether it’s holding his own weeklong high seas
kegger/cruise, hanging with porn stars or being the life of the party at his
favorite club, Gronk enjoys the life we’d all love to have if we never had to
worry about growing up. The first big moment of the SOG came Sunday night in
Orlando, where Gronk played an active role in the WWE’s WrestleMania
pay-per-view. He interfered in a match to help his real-life friend, WWE
superstar Mojo Rawley, win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal,
delivering a nice, pre-planned shoulder block to another wrestler to assist his
buddy. Less than 18 hours later and one long flight north, Gronk was on the
field doing Gronk things as he, three New England Patriots teammates and team
owner Robert Kraft helped the Boston Red Sox open their 2017 season. Quarterback
and all-around-wonderful-American Tom Brady proudly displayed one of his stolen
Super Bowl jerseys for the crowd, but the jersey that had just been found in
Mexico was immediately thieved by Gronk, who hilariously ran from Brady before
the quarterback tackled his tight end in shallow right field. Brady later threw
out the ceremonial first pitch, but it was clearly Gronk who proved that he
will once again live the f*ck out of the SOG………
- After all, isn't this why anyone gets into the legal
profession in the first place? So that when - not if, but when because it
happens to us all - you end up in a convoluted love triangle with a police
detective and a fellow prosecutor in your office, you can use your position to
establish and exploit an illegal wiretap to spy on the other two other people
in your love triangle. Unfortunately, you not only need to be able to carry out
that plan, but also get away with it if you don’t want to go to jail. Enter
Tara Lenich, a former New York City prosecutor who pleaded guilty to charges
she used that illegal wiretap after forging documents that allowed her to tap
the phones of a police detective and another woman working as a prosecutor
working in the Brooklyn district attorney's office. Lenich found herself on the
other side of the courtroom and entered a guilty plea, admitting to forging
those documents even though authorities haven't revealed the identities of her
targets. Given that her crime is a white-collar one, she of course won't be
staring down a scary amount of prison time, unless you realize that as a former
prosecutor, spending even one day behind bars when that’s where you spent your
career sending people is a very dicey proposition. Lenich, who was fired last
year, faces up 14 months in prison under sentencing guidelines and as always,
at least there’s a good, wholly defensible reason why a grown, college-educated
adult flushed their life and career down the toilet and will now go through the
remainder of her life with a criminal record and a dump truck full of regrets…….
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