- Madonna has always been a publicity whore. So it’s always surprising
when someone - anyone - wants to shine more of the spotlight on her and she’s
opposed to the idea. Her bizarre turn in stance comes in response to news that
a biopic film called “Blond Ambition” is in the works, a project penned by
rising screenwriter Elyse Hollander. It’s thought of as one of Hollywood’s best
unproduced screenplays and it’s already been picked up by Universal Pictures. The
Material Skank took to Twitter to make it clear that this project most
certainly does NOT have her approval. “Nobody knows what I know and what I have
seen. Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool,”
she wrote. “Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a
disease in our society.” In a sense, using the word charlatan in an Instagram post
is a pretty bold reach, given that media hardly existed the last time that word
was actually part of modern language, let alone social media. Blessing or not,
the movie will reportedly zero in on Madonna’s formative years in New York City,
perhaps incorporating the legendary story in which she took a flight from her
hometown of Detroit to New York City in 1978 with only $37 in her pocket and
told a taxi driver to take her to “the center of everything.” As the tale goes,
he dropped her off in Times Square and she spent the next five years working as
a model, dancer and waitress while playing in the bands Emmy and Breakfast
Club. She later became a solo artist and spent lots of time hanging out at the
iconic nightclub Danceteria before finally breaking through in the pop music
world in 1983 with her self-titled debut album and going on to become one of
the single most overrated musicians in the history of the industry……..
- The practice of executing people is undergoing major
changes around the world. Many places in the United States are having to
consider alternative methods of sending condemned criminals shuffling off this
mortal coil because of a dearth of the drugs used to kill people by lethal
injection…and then there’s Scotland. Specifically, there’s the western city of
Glasgow, where a candidate for city council says she wants to bring back the
guillotine as a means of terminating the lives of the convicted with malice.
Gisela Allen, the populist U.K. Independence Party's candidate for
Garscadden/Scotstounhill, is breaking new/old ground by saying that not only
should the death penalty should be reinstituted in the country, but suggesting
that the guillotine could take place of hanging. "I want the death penalty
to be re-enacted. It doesn't necessarily have to be hanging," Allen said
of her plan. "You could have the guillotine. I think the public is
entitled to protection." She made it clear that her stance represented personal
beliefs and not party policy, which then freed Allen up to offer another
unpopular proposal, this one to raise the age of retirement to 70 while also
eliminating free bus passes and sex education in schools. Furthermore, she
wants to yank support for nurseries because in her bygone-era-themed world
view, the best idea is for women to stay home with their families. "I
don't want increased child care," Allen stated. "Women with small
children should stay at home and look after their own children. Nurseries
shouldn't get support. No sex education in school and I don't want any LGBT
community — it's private life, none of anyone's business." Some of her
policies are downright kook-tastic, as she has advocated for a reopening of
public toilets and an abolishment of golf course because they’re some sort of
environmental and safety threat. Yes, trying to eradicate golf in the home of
golf, it’s almost enough to make people wish they had a guillotine to use………
- Nothing says truly troubled by your team getting swept out
in the first round of the NBA playoffs and intent on figuring out what to do
with a superstar player entering the final year of his contract quite like
cramming into an Indy car and zipping through downtown Manhattan. But such is
life when your town wants to host the NBA All-Star Game and your team president
has a) spare time on his hands, b) access to an Indy car and clearance to drive
four blocks down Fifth Avenue in said specially themed car to deliver your
team’s bid to host the 2021 game to NBA commissioner Adam Silver.
Such is life for Indiana Paces president Larry Bird, a Hall of Famer who is an
Indiana native and had driven an Indy car only once, during a practice run for
his drive. At 6-foot-9, jamming into the car wasn’t easy. "It's a little
rough ride," he said. "No suspension or anything, but it's fun."
About 200 people gathered around as Bird maneuvered along the left lane, exited
his yellow and blue "Larry Bird" car and quickly lamented the
combination of the car's small pedals and his big feet. That his team was
eliminated from the playoffs in a first-round sweep by defending champion
Cleveland didn’t seem to dampen Bird’s spirit. "It's like a bucket list
thing. It's in New York, so you've got to do it," Bird said. "If I was
driving around my neighborhood I don't think I'd have had any interest in it.
But coming up to New York and ride down the street for a few blocks, it's
something that I wish everybody could do." The odds seem high for the bid
to succeed, as Indiana hasn't hosted the NBA All-Star Game since 1985 but has
plenty of experience staging big events, including the Super Bowl and seven
NCAA men's Final Fours. The Hoosier State is basketball heaven for many, so the
Association will likely send All-Star weekend there soon……..
- Not enough thieves take time to properly prepare before
committing their crimes. Not so for a suspect who robbed a local Dunkin’ Donuts
in North Philadelphia and showed that he wasn’t just going to barge through the
door unprepared for what might come next. Knowing that even though he was
entering the building shortly before 7 a.m. on a Saturday, he may still have to
evade and outrun the long arm of the law after making the heist, the thief was
captured on video doing some much-needed stretching before entering the store.
Yes, stretching in a parking lot while wearing all black, latex gloves and a
ski mask does look odd, but how many people are cruising an urban area at 7
a.m. on a weekend and could see an oddly dressed and suspicious individual
doing stretches right before walking in, hurdling the counter - see, stretching
did pay off - and pointing a gun at an employee before demanding, “You have 20
seconds to give me the money from the registers,” before jumping back over the
counter and fleeing? According to police, the suspect stole over $300 from the
registers and was last seen leaving the parking lot, but in a nice bit of proof
that pre-theft calisthenics do indeed work, the suspect remains at large and
one would have to imagine, free of any nagging hamstring or quadriceps pain or
post-robbery back soreness. Score one for being willing to put in the work
before committing a crime that you commit so you don’t have to do something
resembling actual work……..
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