- Hooray for soccer. In news that about 2 percent of America
will enjoy, the United States, Mexico and Canada have announced their intention
to submit a joint bid to co-host the 2026 FIFA World Cup. The good news is that
Americans won't have to suffer through the logistical headache of hosting an
entire World Cup if the bid is successful - just three-quarters of the game.
That means hosting the World Cup would suck 25 percent less than normal given
that the majority of America still doesn’t give a damn about soccer. In what
could either be a blessing or a curse, U.S. Soccer chief Sunil Gulati said the
bid has the support of President Donald Trump. This would be the first World
Cup to have three host countries and would be just the second time that the
tournament has had multiple hosts after the 2002 World Cup was co-hosted by
Japan and South Korea. The disappointing news for American non-soccer fans -
i.e. real Americans - is that the expansion of the 2026 World Cup from 32 to 48
teams, and thus increasing the number of matches from 64 to 80, this bid has a
definite appeal to it for the corrupt folks at FIFA. According to Gulati, the
U.S. would host 60 games -- including every game from the quarterfinals on --
while 10 each are played in Mexico and Canada. FIFA hasn’t yet finalized its
official bribery process, er, rules for hosting the 2026 World Cup, but that will
happen at its Congress on May 11 in the
soccer hotbed of Bahrain. In another stroke of bad news for U.S. non-soccer
fans, countries in Europe and Asia will be prevented from bidding because
Russia is hosting the 2018 World Cup, while Qatar hosts the 2022 tournament……..
- Not really a good way to boost your street cred as a
rapper, aspiring Australian emcee Terry Peck, a.k.a. 2pec. A dine, dash and
dive isn't really the way the dude from whom you tried to thieve your name,
2pac, a.k.a. Tupac Shakur, carved out space for himself in the rap world. But
it’s clearly how Terry Peck rolls because he apparently dove into the ocean to
avoid paying for his massive seafood dinner at a restaurant in Australia, which
might be the worst getaway strategy of the year so far for a criminal. The
problems arose when Peck was dining at Main Beach's Omeros Bros Restaurant in
Queensland and racked up a $450 bill. His massive meal allegedly included two
lobsters, 17 oyster shooters, a baby octopus and several beers, but math must
not be his strong suit because when Peck found out how much he’d spent, he
allegedly sprinted from the restaurant to the beach and went headlong into the
ocean. This being Australia, where most everything that matters is near a
beach, police had easy access to a jet ski and they used one to return Peck to
Shore, where he was arrested and charged with theft and assault on a police
officer. Ever the bitter loser, he denounced the food as "overpriced"
and complained that the lobsters were "overcooked" in court. The
hilariously named Omeros Bros Restaurant spokesman Mark Hunnybun was not
amused. "We cook our lobsters perfectly here — we pride ourselves on
cooking our lobsters perfectly," Hunnybun said…….
- What better venue for a cartoon band voiced by actual rock
stars than their very own TV show? Gorillaz have revealed that they have a their
very own show in the works and in a stunning promotional coincidence, the
band’s leaders, Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett, release their new record
‘Humanz’ on April 28. In promoting the new album, the band picked an ideal time
to let the world know that they have a 10-episode TV show coming and that an
animated Gorillaz movie was nearly made by DreamWorks, but fell through because
“it was too dark to spend a couple of hundred million dollars on.” Hmm, teasing
a possible movie in case anyone out there is interested in picking up the
concept an running with it? Ever full of juicy gossip, the band went on to
reveal that Morrissey turned down a guest spot on their new album after a
“month long email exchange” and that Sade and Dionne Warwick also spurned their
offers to collaborate, with Warwick allegedly claiming she wasn’t interested
because she believed the group’s lyrics conflicted with her religious beliefs.
“I don’t take rejection personally,” Albarn said. That’s a lot of publicity-generating
gems dropped just weeks ahead of a new album, one that was already highly
anticipated before the world knew its auteurs were about to become TV stars too……..
- We’ve all been in a movie theater with the loudmouths who
manage to disrupt everyone else’s cinematic experience by NEVER SHUTTING UP, so
isn’t it ironic that a group of movie fans making a whole lot of noise also
can't hear a thing? It’s all going down in Rhode Island, where a group of deaf
moviegoers say a movie theater refused to switch on the captioning so they
could follow along with Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." A group of
18 hearing-impaired people tried to see the film at the Showcase Cinemas at
Warwick Mall and in what could be the lone quasi-black mark against them,
organizer Tim Riker says the group arrived unannounced. Maybe a group of that
many people with a special need to enjoy the movie should have called ahead,
but still, would turning on the closed captioning really be that much to ask?
Perhaps the worst move of all came from a manager who refused on the grounds
that it wouldn't be fair to other patrons who had not paid to see a subtitled
movie. Yes, this ass hat tried to argue that turning on the captions would
provide an unfair benefit to people who hadn't paid the extra money to see the
movie with the added perk. The hearing-impaired group left without seeing the
film, but now Riker says the group wants state lawmakers to approve pending
legislation requiring certain theaters to accommodate hearing- and
sight-impaired customers. The Warwick
theater is owned by Massachusetts-based National Amusements, which has
continued to fumble and stumble through this mess by failing to issue an
apology or any comment at all on the incident, while "Beauty and the
Beast" has churned fiscally onward, earning $432 million domestically in a
month………
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