- It’s last year’s Republican presidential primary
clusterf*ck, only on a (very) slightly grander scale. Welcome to the Iranian
presidential derby, where more than 600 candidates have registered to run in
next month's election, setting up what could be an all-out fight at the
proverbial bat rack when it comes to vying for commercial time on the country’s
TV airwaves in the next few weeks. According to reports on the ground in Iran,
at least 638 have registered in the first three days of the process and that
jaw-dropping number is more than double the number that had registered during
the same period in 2013. Tomorrow is the final day to sign up, so if you’re one
of the four or five Iranians over the age of 10 who doesn’t appear to have
signed up just yet, now is the time to act. Maybe with a late push, we can blow
right past the staggering total of more than 1,000 people who registered in
2005 under reformist President Mohammad Khatami. Conditions are good for
running because more candidates are willing to jump into the mix any time a
moderate is in office because the political sphere is more open. That’s the
good news…whereas the bad news is that the stick-up-our-ass Guardian Council, a
clerical body that oversees elections, is expected to bar most candidates
before it announces a list of approved candidates by April 27. Those looking or
a revival of the country’s recent, horrific and despotic past will be excited
to know that former hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is on the list of
those looking to challenge President Hassan Rouhani, a moderate, who is
expected to seek re-election……..
- Jim Henson, it’s good to have you around again. Henson,
famed creator of The Muppets, also directed the 1986 movie “Labyrinth,” which
starred a young Jennifer Connelly as she ventures into an otherworldly maze to
rescue her younger brother, who has been kidnapped by David Bowie’s fantastical
creature The Goblin King. In a move that will surprise no one, even though
Bowie is sadly no longer with us, there will be a new “Labyrinth” spin-off film
because Hollywood cherishes every day it can go to work and come home without
having to come up with a truly original idea. “Labyrinth” was originally
released in 1986 and some 31 years later, it’s coming back with Fede Alvarez
directing and Jay Basu writing the script to a follow-up for what became a cult
favorite movie more than three decades ago. The pair are currently busy with
the upcoming “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” sequel, “The Girl In The Spider’s
Web,” and their “Labyrinth” sequel is currently casting and will begin
production this fall. According to the studio, the piggybacking successor film
will create a new story within the universe created in the original movie that
will function “more like a spinoff than a sequel.” Whatever y’all need to tell
yourselves to make it easier to churn out recycled content and make money from
it. “‘Labyrinth’ is one of the seminal movies from my childhood that made me
fall in love with filmmaking. I couldn’t be more thrilled to expand on Jim
Henson’s mesmerizing universe, and take a new generation of moviegoers back
into the Labyrinth,” Alvarez said of his new gig……..
- So….is it a problem when you’re a major American city
whose district attorney doesn’t currently have a valid law license? It’s a
question worth asking in the Keystone State, where Pennsylvania's highest court
is temporarily suspending the law license of Philadelphia District Attorney
Seth Williams as he awaits trial on federal bribery charges. Sure, having a
district attorney facing trial on federal bribery charges could be reason for
concern whether someone has a law license or not, but when your district
attorney can’t actually go to court, it makes his or her job significantly more
difficult. The positive for Williams is that the state Supreme Court order
issued Thursday after a joint motion by Williams' lawyer and the office of
disciplinary counsel doesn’t take effect for one month, so he can litigate the
hell out of his case load until then. His office is on the record as saying
that he won't make any legal determinations while he's suspended and won't act
as an attorney in any case involving the office, meaning his job will be
limited to administrative, policy and personnel matters. In his absence, First
Assistant District Attorney Kathleen Martin and the deputy district attorneys
will carry out the legal duties while their boss deals with a 23-count bribery
and extortion indictment that he’s somehow linked to financial problems he
claims to have gotten into in the wake of a recent divorce. All in all, he
doesn’t really sound like the kind of man of integrity that a city would want
leading its important legal efforts………
- It’s almost as if Louis Murphy can’t catch a break - or a
pass. The latter is why he currently doesn’t have a job with an NFL team and
the former is why he now has criminal charges pending and an upcoming court
date in Tampa. Murphy last played in the NFL in 2015, has caught more than 40
passes just once in season and it’s hard to imagine a team wanting to take a
chance on a disappointing former fourth-round pick who found the end zone just
10 times in his career and isn’t smart or with it enough to avoid showing up
for a morning flight from Tampa International Airport carrying a loaded gun in
a backpack. According to airport police, Murphy rolled through the airport at
approximately 8:12 a.m. local time, at which point airport security discovered
a Glock 23 pistol inside a backpack belonging to Murphy at the Airside C
security checkpoint. Making this situation all the more jaw-dropping was the
fact that the gun was loaded with 11 rounds of ammunition and Murphy was dumb
enough to pack that sort of heat even though he did not have a concealed
weapons permit, according to airport police. Less than an hour later, Murphy
was a) not boarding his flight, b) arrested and c) staring down a charge of
carrying a concealed firearm, a third-degree felony in the state of Florida,
which carries a maximum prison sentence of up to five years and a fine of up to
$5,000. He was released a few hours later, no closer to an NFL job yet several
steps toward spending some quality time on cell block C……..
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