-Boy, I did not see this coming. You mean to tell me that the previous reports of Bar-roid Bonds only having one failed steroids test on his record were erroneous? I’m not sure if I can believe that kind of outrageous accusation….but tell me more. Apparently, a federal judge in San Francisco told prosecutors on Friday to redraft their multiple-count indictment of Barry Bonds and ordered the slugger's 2003 grand jury testimony unsealed. Multiple sources have leaked word that among the information contained in the unsealed 149-page court transcript is evidence of an additional positive steroids test beyond the previously reported one in November 2000. The U.S. Attorney's office had previously disclosed that Bonds tested positive for testosterone, but so far that’s the only positive test that has been confirmed publicly. However, with U.S. District Court Judge Susan Illston ordering prosecutors to amend Bonds' indictment and unsealing those records, odds are we’re about to learn about other positive tests for the mercurial, egotistical, ‘roid-fueled slugger. Prosecutors originally accused Bonds of lying 19 different times (why not make it an even 20?) during his grand jury appearance and subsequently charged him with four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. Illston did actually agree with Bonds' attorney Dennis Riordan that prosecutors must edit out many of the alleged lies or seek a new indictment in light of recent developments, but that’s more of a semantics issue than anything else. The feds could actually mix in additional charges if they re-file, and prosecutors are expected to decide whether to seek a new indictment before Bonds' next court date March 21. But don’t worry, Bar-roid, I’m sure you have nothing to worry about…..uh huh, yeah right.
- Fox, you have competition. You may hav the single biggest abortion of a reality show in the history of television in American Karaoke, but ABC is not going to let you run away with the title of King of Terrible Reality TV. NBC is in there too with bombs like My Dad is Better than Your Dad and Deal or No Deal, but ABC made a strong move this past week by re-upping Dancing With the (D-List) Stars for another season in 2008-09. But wait, they didn’t stop there. That wouldn’t be nearly enough to upgrade their Awfulness of Schedule factor enough to vault them up the CRTCS (Crappy Reality Television Championship Series, much like college football’s Bowl Championship Series only for things that suck instead of things that are good). No, ABC also decided to bring back the single most tired, played reality show ever, America’s Funniest Home Videos. That show is the king of irony because despite its name, it has never been funny. Pets falling into toilets, people “accidentally” running into closed sliding glass doors and dads getting whacked in the junk by their four-year olds with wiffle ball bats are al just as lame now as they were when this show was pulling those same gags back in 1990. Supernanny and Wife Swap willl also return, giving ABC a solid four-=pack of garbage reality shows. Fox may have the top dog in bad reality TV and a decent No. 2 in The Moment of Truth, but ABC’s overall depth puts them right in the race. At this point it’s too close to call…..
- Some college basketball thoughts from the weekend…..a possible theme would be “That Didn’t Last Long.” That would refer to three teams, one of them being the University of Tennessee, which ascended to its first No. 1 ranking in men’s basketball at the start of the week only to lose their first game while at the top, falling 72-69 Tuesday night to intrastate rival and 14th ranked Vanderbilt. The Commodores scored the win on their kooky court that drops off like ten feet on every side right outside the court boundaries and has the team benches at the end of the court instead of on the sidelines like every other college gym except Minnesota. UT rebounded to scrape by Kentucky 63-60 at home today, but UK was without their best player and the win isn’t going to be enough to keep Tennessee at No. 1. That didn’t last long would also apply to the losers at Kent State, who got their school’s first-ever Top 25 ranking this week at No. 24 and proceeded to drop their first game as a ranked team at a .500 Bowling Green, 89-83 Saturday afternoon. BG’s offense normally has as much sizzle as a week-old, opened can of Diet Pepsi, but against the Golden Flushes of Kent State, it soared. Wave bye-bye to the Top 25, Kent. Also not lasting long was St. Mary’s College’s run at the top of the West Coast Conference. The Gaels had led the WCC all season, wresting the top spot from perennial conference champs Gonzaga, but Gonzaga kept it close and after losing their first match-up with St. Mary’s earlier in the season, they won 88-76 on Saturday to more or less win the conference regular season title once again. Aside from those three teams, I also need to rip the a-hole student at the University of Arizona who threw a water bottle on the court during a XX-XX Arizona loss to USC on XXXXXXX. You can do a lot of things to support your team, but throwing things on the court and chanting racist, sexist, homophobic or hateful things aren’t among them. Your team is a mediocre 17-12, UA fan, so deal with it. Stop throwing crap on the court, because no one thinks that makes you a good fan - well, other than Euro soccer fans who lob lit flares at players, bag their urine and make urine bombs to hurl and riot after basically every game. A big whoops also committed by Kansas State freshman standout Michael Beasley, who was clearly still riding the high of his team’s win over archrival Kansas earlier this season when he declared that KSU would gladly play KU any time, any place - even Australia - because they felt like they would win. Either that or they would go to Kansas and get beaten by double digits, which is what happened Saturday. Cheer up though, Michael, because you might get another shot to get your ass kicked, er, beat Kansas any time, any place when the Big 12 Tournament gets underway. That’s all on college hoops for now…..
- A key difference between how the Brits handle their elite members of society/the ruling class and their military service versus how the United States handles things…..in America, leaders like W. (just an example) “find their way” into national guard units that have no chance of ever being deployed to the front lines or being in any real danger in terms of combat. Whether it’s using their family’s affluence or just weaseling their way out of fighting in combat, they just don’t go where it’s dangerous. By comparison, the British royal family’s male members are right there, serving in combat, taking risks just like their fellow soldiers. Prince Harry, 23, is the latest member of the royal family to continue the tradition, is close to coming back from serving on the front lines with his British army unit in one of Afghanistan’s roughest, most dangerous and lawless provinces. His uncle, Prince Andrew, flew helicopters over combat zones in the Falkland Islands during England’s war with Argentina in 1982. By comparison, W., um, did nothing. He never really served at all, using his daddy’s power to find a safe, non-combat role with the national guard until the danger had passed. You still suck, W., just in case you were wondering.
- I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure how to process this net piece of information. For the first time in the history of this country, 1 out of every 100 adults is in prison, Yes, 1 percent of America currently resides in jails and prisons, so what to make of it? Should we be thankful that our felonious 1 percent are behind bars and that we are theoretically safe from their criminal act, or should we be disheartened that so many people in our country are criminals? All told, 2,319,258 people are currently incarcerated in the U.S., with the percentage a new high for the nation. Not surprisingly, high-population states like California, Texas and Florida have the largest prisoner populations, but it’s the state of Kentucky that really has reason to boast, since the Bluegrass State had the single biggest jump in percentage increase for its prison population between Dec. 31, 2006 and Jan. 1, 2008. The state saw a 12 percent jump during that time, and to answer your question, no, I don’t think that’s entirely attributable to arrests for moonshining. So make of it what you will, America, but now more than ever, we are a nation of criminals….and that’s just the ones behind bars and doesn’t count the many criminals currently serving in public office at every level of government…..
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