- Glad to see that Congress, part of it anyhow, has done what most Americans are now doing; ignoring the pointless, aimless ramblings of our intelligence-deprived Commander in Chief, W. A day after W. implored Congress to give his proposed troop buildup in Iraq a chance to work (hey, didn’t they say the same thing about the Titanic and the Hindenberg?), the Senate Foreign Relations committee shot down the plan by a 12-9 vote. Heck, even though most of the Republicans on the committee voted for the measure, they even spoke out against it beforehand. They then fell in with the party line, but hearing one senator after another make a plea to turn responsibility over to the Iraqis for running their own country was great. W. has pride and he’s stubborn, but how many people have to line up against him before he concedes that he is wrong and that his plan isn't going to work? Your legacy as a tool and a screw up is pretty much sealed, pal, so maybe try to put a nice bow and some wrapping paper on the giant turd known as your presidency by pulling our troops out of Iraq and maybe history won't remember you quite as harshly.
- All those very insightful, very fresh local news reports with a reporter standing outside the post office just before midnight on Tax Day Eve will have to wait this year. Normally, we’re subjected to Anonymous Reporter A standing outside, talking to slackers who’ve waited til the last moment to mail in their taxes, with the normal deadline being April 15. It’s such an interesting, thought-provoking report that most of us reach for the remote to change the channel….“Excuse me, are you just mailing your taxes? Can you tell me why you were waiting to the last minute to pay more money to the government?” This year, though, April 15 is a Sunday and the next day is Emancipation Day (no idea what the hell that is), which is a holiday in Washington, D.C., so the IRS has benevolently declared that everyone can have an extra two days to get their taxes in. Ah, the IRS, a bastion of generosity, empathy and kindness to Joe Taxpayer, what an organization.
- The more I pay attention to this subject, the more disturbed I become. Yet another cruise ship illness has broken out, and honestly, there have been so many the past month I’ve lost count. East Coast, West Coast, it doesn’t matter. Food borne illnesses, viruses - heck, one cruise line even lost a passenger at sea on his honeymoon and paid the guy’s family $2 million to settle. This most recent illness occurred in San Francisco, where hundreds of passengers on a worldwide cruise aboard the Queen Elizabeth 2 were strickened with a stomach virus. More than 300 people, 276 passengers and 28 crew members, came down with Norovirus, the Center for Disease Control reported when the ship docked in ‘Frisco. Why exactly does anyone go on a cruise if there seems to be a near-certainty that you’re going to get seriously ill while onboard? Do you need to go to the doctor and get vaccinated for every known disease, then wear a HAZMAT suit all cruise long in order to stay healthy on a cruise? Maybe the Bubble Boy from Seinfeld could go on one and be alright, but personally I’m not going to take a chance with it.
- I said it, and now it’s happening. When you’ve got two weeks between the NFL conference title games and the Super Bowl, you start getting moronic, inane stories like this: first, we learn about a Chicago-area woman who induced labor early so her husband could attend Sunday’s Bears-Saints game. That gem leaked out early this week, now there’s a story about some woman, also a Bears fan, who is attempting to garner tickets for the Super Bowl by allowing some company to use her stomach as advertising space. I doubt it’s a permanent ad, but this pregnant lady is trying to take advantage of her condition by turning herself into a human billboard. Two other tools in Chicago (man, a lot of idiots there) who own a restaurant are trying to trade free meals for life at their eatery for two lower bowl tickets at the big game. Again, when you have waaaay too long between games, people start digging up crap like this to fill the time. And think, we’ve still got 10 days to go, which means more stories like this are on the way. I get it, OK, people really want Super Bowl tickets and are willing to do really dumb stuff to be able to attend the game. But how the hell does any of this have any relevance to the game itself, to what happens on the field and who wins? I don’t need to know about degenerate freaks who will sell their soul and their first born into slavery so they can get a ticket.
- You can't always make generalizations about people based on small parts of their lives, such as where they spend their free time or go for amusement. One notable exception, though, is people who visit wax museums. I can unequivocally say that if you visit a wax museum willingly (assuming you’re not a kid dragged there by his or her parents), then you are a loser. This brings me to the exciting new development at Madame Tussauds New York wax museum, where the wax versions of David Beckham and wife Victoria have arrived. There’s nothing quite like seeing the freaky, inanimate, yet mildly lifelike wax versions of actual living people…..sure. Who in their right mind wants to go stare at artificial recreations of real people in a museum? It’s weird, and now it includes some soccer weenie from Europe who no one in America gives two shakes of a lamb’s tail about. Will the wax recreations show Becks faking an injury, taking a dive after a pretend foul, eating an orange slice, or whatever else soccer players do? But I’m sure this “attraction” will draw scores and scores of very cool, non-loserish people to the museum………
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