New York City terorized by and odor, Austin by dozens of dead birds

- How f’d up has our society become when a funny odor in the air in Manhattan causes an entire city to go into panic? City officials and utility providers scrambled to make sure that nothing was amiss, but after all of their investigating and checking, no one has a clue what the odor was or what caused it. Nothing like a whole city of people going into a panic, though, just because of a smell. But New York is full of smells, many of them unpleasant and disagreeable to the senses, but since when does that mean something is majorly wrong. And honestly, don’t you think that terrorists could find an odorless toxin if they were planning a strike? Isn't that why carbon monoxide is the “silent killer,” because you can't see or smell it? Odds are, an unusually high number of rats happened to die near some sort of ventilation system and the odor got circulated around the island. But we’ve all become too terror-conscious and paranoid if a single funky odor sends us flying into a panic.

- The class of inductees for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was formally announced Monday, with R.E.M., poet/starlet/singer Patti Smith, Van Halen, Grandmaster Flash and Ronnie Spector filling out the induction class. It’s always interesting to see what diverse blend of characters get inducted in a given year, because when you have a 1970s hippie chick/free spirit like Smith, who was a major figure on the punk scene in New York that time, a rap pioneer like Flash, college rockers turned rock staples like R.E.M. and 80s hair bands like Van Halen, it’s hard to imagine these people, musically at least, having anything to do with one another. But for this occasion, they’ll be tied together, and each has had some influence on rock and roll along the way. On a side note, if you’re interested in learning more about Smith’s wild, radical life, a good place to start is Legs McNeil’s Please Kill Me: An Uncensored Oral History of Punk. Smith is featured prominently in several chapters of the book, including her beginnings as an aspiring poet on the New York art scene.

- When you’ve got the time and motivation to deliberately poison more than five-dozen wild birds, it’s time to take a serious look at where your life is headed. Wildlife experts in Austin, Texas, point to poisoning as the likely cause of death for some 63 birds that were found in downtown Austin. Ten city blocks were shut down while the birds were cleaned up, but officials said that the deceased birds posed no health threat to the people of Austin. Look, I think a lot of us have probably poisoned the neighbor’s annoying cat that wouldn’t stop digging in the flower bed by leaving out some antifreeze or something along those lines (well, at least a few of us have, no need to name names), but mass poisoning of some pigeons or sea gulls is twisted. Yes, they’re annoying, yes, they tend to crap on your car right after you wash it, but you still should not be poisoning them to solve the problem. Poisoning those you have gripes with is not a solid life and conflict management strategy, so next time just buy an umbrella or car cover.

- Surprise, surprise, Mark McGwire wasn’t elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in his first year on the ballot. I guess ducking and dodging questions in a public congressional hearing and looking like a big phony fraud do stick to a person. Big Roid/Red was named on just over 23 percent of ballots, leaving him a mere 52 percent short of the necessary 75 percent required for selection. Cal Ripken, a thin, non-power hitting shortstop, and Tony Gwynn, who only used performance enhancers if pastries and ice cream are considered steroids, were chosen in their first time on the ballot. McGwire’s uber-poor showing portends major problems or him not just this time, but also in the years ahead as he goes through his 15 years on the ballot. If he had gotten 50 percent or so, you could have made a decent argument that as we got some distance from the Congressional hearings debacle and the whole steroids mess, Big Roid could have a chance to make the Hall. But now, with 77 percent of voters rejecting him when he needs about that same amount to approve him, it seems very, very doubtful that he’ll ever get in. Of course, that’s the way it should be, because he’s disgraced himself and the game of baseball with his whole act and with the fact that he most definitely took ‘roids.

- For the sake of USC football fans (and who isn't concerned about the well being of rich, upper class, snobbish SoCal natives with the Blackberries, Botox and Hummers)…..I sincerely hope that USC football coach Pete Carroll just says no to Miami Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga. Huizenga, whose former coach and noted liar Nick Saban bolted the ‘Fins for the Alabama job, is coming after Carroll to be his next coach, even going as far to take his private jet down to Costa Rica, where Carroll is on vacation. Actually, I hope Carroll says no for his own sake too. Sports “experts” and commentators talk about the NFL like it’s the be all, end all of sports, that it’s the highest level and that any successful college coach will eventually seek an NFL job because it’s what they all aspire to. In my view, it’s an apples to oranges comparison, because college and pro football are two separate and distinctly different entities. Pro coaches are hired and fired at will, given one or maybe two years to succeed and expected to work 20 hour days and sleep in their offices. College coaches work long hours too, but not as extreme. A guy like Carroll, who has achieved great success at the college level, doesn’t have to kill himself with work. He can enjoy life, actually spend time with his family and be at a place where he’s universally loved and revered. Basically, he could hold that job for the rest of his life if he wanted. USC is an established program, and top players flock there almost without being asked. In college, Carroll has the hammer: the players are there because they’ve been given a scholarship by him, and he controls playing time so he’s the final authority. In the NFL, players sign massive contracts and so the owners paying them expect that they will play and produce, and the players are out for their own stats and gain. Most of the time, they couldn’t care less who the coach is or for his well being. Stay in college Pete, it’s a better gig and how are you going to beat coaching in balmy SoCal, being a perennial national title contender and having an up close view of the USC Song Girls at every home game?