- I’m sure nearly everyone got at least one Christmas gift that they were really, really excited about. However, I don’t think anyone got quite the gift that Rino Foschi, sporting director of the Italian soccer team Sicilian Serie A side Palermo received. Somebody, most likely a disgruntled fan, sent Foschi a severed goat head as a gift to show their displeasure in a rather bloody manner. When someone hates you enough to send you a severed goat head, you’ve either become a character in a Godfather movie or you have some mentally ill souls out there who are pissed at you. What makes the story even more twisted is that Foschi didn’t call the cops or toss the goat head in the dumpster; dude wrapped it up and put it under the tree as a gift for his wife. Ha, ha, that Rino Foschi, what a joker. I’m sure his wife was thrilled and they’ll laugh about this one for years to come. His final quote on the subject, “It’s not a big deal. Let’s not make a movie out of it.” Sure thing, if receiving a severed goat head in the mail doesn’t bother you, then I guess the rest of us will have to get over it.
- New TV shows almost always build themselves up with trumped-up promos that promise you the moon, after which the show more often than not fails to meet those lofty expectations. It is my sincere hope that this is the case for the new reality show armed & famous, which promises to take “major celebrities” and turn them into real cops. And what gives your show more of a boost in the legitimacy department than having mega-stars like Wee Man, Erik Estrada and Jack Osborne training to become police officers? For the sake of everyone in whatever jurisdiction that these jokers are filming the show in, I sincerely hope that the E-list “stars” on this show aren't anything close to actual officers of the law. Imagine the potential problems if Officer Wee Man made a traffic stop on one of those massive SUVs……….dude wouldn’t even be able reach the door handle. And how could Officer Jack Osborne make a drug bust in good conscience when he’s high on weed and his old man probably has done more drugs in his lifetime than all but 0.0000001% of the world’s population? Points for a somewhat new idea, albeit in the tired, played reality TV genre, but that’s where the good points of this show end.
- A late candidate for parent/guardian of the year for 2006 comes to us from Indianapolis, where a 3-year-old-boy was found playing in traffic on I-465, wearing only a diaper and t-shirt. This tot’s mother is clearly looking to edge out the grandmother at LAX who sent her month-old grandson through the airport X-ray machine in the race for most negligent caretaker of ’06. Motorists were able to corral the boy and care for him until police arrived and were able to find his mother, who was sleeping. She was arrested on charges of child neglect, which shouldn’t be too difficult to prove. Maybe I need to offer a refresher lesson on things you cannot do with your kid or allow them to do: go through an airport X-ray machine, play on a major highway, take a ride in the washing machine, take baths while holding several plugged-in appliances, drink a gallon of rat poison…….do I need to go on, or do you get the point? Look, if you don’t want to take care of kids, don’t have them or let someone else adopt them. Otherwise, keep them off the freeway and out of X-ray machines, k?
- Britain’s recently-enacted liquor laws are apparently not having their desired effect. Honestly, I’d think the effect you’d get would be thousands of American college students changing their spring break plans for Florida to England to take advantage of the laws, put in place in November 2005, that allow bars to serve alcohol 24/7. Somebody is trying to justify the decision to put the new laws into place by saying they thought it would eliminate the rush to drink as much as possible before last call and help to create more of the, “have a glass of wine at lunch or dinner,” café-style culture that exists throughout continental Europe. No less than the chairwoman of the governing Labour Party, Hazel Blears, though, seems to believe that that kind of mentality will never prevail in England. “Maybe it’s our Anglo-Saxon mentality,” she theorized. “We actually enjoy getting drunk.” Now that’s the kind of straightforward, no nonsense talk you want from your political leaders. We enjoy getting drunk…..heck, we can’t even get our leader to admit he screwed up a major war and has no plan for getting us out of it. But back to the issue at hand; the new British laws haven't created the desired “relaxed” drinking atmosphere, but rather they have simply given Brits more time to get drunk. Well done, old chaps, well done.
- Travel alert: for those who have been excluding Slovenia from your European travel plans as a result of the country’s failure to adopt the universal currency of Europe, the euro, you can now put the former Eastern Bloc nation back on your itinerary. As of Jan. 1, the Slovaks will be using the euro as their national currency, becoming the thirteenth country to do so. If you actually enjoy the process of trying to exchange money several times to varying currencies and getting universally screwed in the process, you’ll have to travel somewhere else, because nearly all of Europe is now on board with the euro. Whether there’s much of anything to see in Slovenia is still up for debate, but at least now it’s easier to pay for whatever it is you might find to do if you are unfortunate enough to be vacationing there.
- Black Monday reigns once again in the National Football League. The Monday after the final weekend of the league’s regular season received that moniker because it’s on that day when teams who have experienced disappointing campaigns begin firing their coaches, and today was no exception. The Cardinals, apparently realizing that Denny Green wasn’t who they thought he was (a good coach), fired the erstwhile leader. The thing is, he coached them in all four games of the preseason. Who the hell treats the preseason like it’s bullsh*t? Isn't that why the Cardinals took the field? Now if you want to crown Denny Green, then crown his a**. But he isn't who the Cardinals thought he was, AND THEY LET HIM OFF THE HOOK! Also, the Cardinals fired Jim Mora Jr. after a lackluster 7-9 season, near the end of which he went on a Seattle area radio station talk show and waxed romantic about how much he would love to coach his alma mater, the University of Washington, and said he’d be first in line if the job ever opened up. Never mind that he said he’d bail on the Falcons to do so if need be…….well, the Falcons weren’t pleased and today, owner Arthur Blank axed Mora. Now he’s free to go ahead and pursue that UW job, even if the Huskies already have a coach.
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