Sunday, January 14, 2007

Gimme more Trump verbal assaults: Next target - Madonna?

- Hopefully you haven't caught any of that new NBC reality crap You’re the One That I Want. If you have, you have my sympathies, but despite the fact that the supply of good reality show ideas ended shortly after the genre was created (Survivor and The Amazing Race are the beginning and end of the good ideas list), there is a silver lining for this newest monstrosity. Unlike American Karaoke, where the winner will be continually foisted on our collective consciousness by TV magazine shows, entertainment shows and commercials after Randy, Paula and Simon have had their say, the winner of You’re the One That I Want will pretty much drop off the map. Sure, they’ll have roles in a Broadway production of Grease, but the theater is a peripheral entertainment entity here in America. The only way you’ll hear more about the winners on this show is if you’re an active fan of the theater. Otherwise, the two schmucks who are declared victorious will fade off the radar for everyone but the theater community and we won't have to have them continually shoved in our face. So something to be thankful for, unless of course the show gets canceled after a couple episodes, which would be even bigger cause for celebration.

- Next target for Donald Trump: Madonna. The Material Skank came to defense of her pal Rosie O’Fat and objected to the Donald’s full-fledged verbal assault on O’Fat and those who have defended her. I haven't heard Trump’s reply to Madge’s comments yet, but based on the way he coldly, calculatingly blew up O’Fat, then Babs Walters when she rallied to Rosie’s cause, I’m going to go ahead and assume that Trump and his people are polishing up the final version of their next statement slamming Madonna for being a musical hack who has little vocal talent, bases her career on gimmicks and shticks and once wrote an extremely sexually explicit book that made her look like an uber-skank. Heck, the Donald might even take a run at her for her legally questionable adoption kidnapping of a Malawian baby boy last year. I can see it now, “Madonna is just an ugly person, inside and out. I was very happy when he latest album failed, because I like it when bad people fail. She’s lucky to have her new baby she adopted, but she’d better be careful, or I’ll send someone over there to take her baby away from her. Why would he want to be with her and have her as a mother if he had another choice?” Let ‘er rip, Donald, this verbal warring need not end, it’s a lot more amusing than the actual news going on in the world.

- There’s a reason Charles Barkley will never be successful in running for any political office, including for governor of Alabama, which he has hinted at wanting to be. It’s the same reason Sir Charles is so successful as a TV analyst for TNT in its NBA coverage. Chuck just doesn’t have a filter on his pie hole the way most people do, especially those who are successful politicians. He says what he’s thinking, loud and obnoxiously, and doesn’t filter it to be less offensive, less rude or more politically correct. Politicians must be well-versed in the art of double talk and political speak, talking but not really saying anything or taking a definitive stand. Charles, though, will piss people off willingly, as evidenced by his on-air comments about the Cleveland Cavaliers following their 19-point loss in Phoenix. Barkley called the Cavs a terrible team still plagued by the same problems as last season, namely no real point guard and no outside shooting. Furthermore, he advised viewers not to be fooled by the Cavs having the best record in the Eastern Conference, implying that they are paper tigers and not a threat to win the NBA title. Wow, if you’ll say that about the top team in the conference, what will you say about the other teams? Some of his points are valid, albeit exaggerated somewhat, but why so bitter, Charles? You and the Cavs franchise have something big in common - namely, neither of you has ever won an NBA title. The Cavs have about a 1% chance to do so this year, but that’s still a better shot than you, a massively overweight blob whose physical conditioning skills are even worse than Shaq O’Neal’s, have at securing a ring this season or any other.

- The newest album from Switchfoot, Gravity, is drawing divergent responses from various corners of the music listening populace. On one hand, many critics have good things to say about the music itself and about the band’s aspirations to rise above the general greed and bling-heavy culture perpetrated by hip hop, pop and trendy rock groups whose lyrics pander to the lowest common denominator and have as much thoughtful insight as a drunken baboon. But there are those out there who now have Switchfoot at the top of their musical villains list because they feel the band has become a collection of sell-outs. The basis of this is that the quartet, formerly a trio, began as a Christian music artist but has now been reincarnated as a mainstream group. Those in faith-based music circles see it as a loss of principles and message, but that’s a faulty claim. Who says that just because you’re a person of faith that you have to sing songs laced from beginning to end with religious verbiage? Why can't a band sing about life and its issues and leave it at that? Besides, these guys have lives of their own offstage, and as long as they continue living the right way there, then the complainers should just enjoy the music and not demand that every song, album and concert be an evangelical crusade.

- I wanna vomit. I literally feel like I am about to throw up in my mouth. That was the overriding thought in my mind as the end of the NFL’s Divisional Playoff weekend rolled to a close. The San Diego Chargers were in the process of choking away leads of 14-3 and 21-13, frittering away their chance to knock the oh-so-annoying, ubiquitous in the playoffs New England Patriots. I’m so sick of “Golden Boy” Tom Brady and everyone celebrating the so-called genius of the hooded-sweatshirt-wearing Bill Belichick. I hate the Pats because they’re like roaches you can't kill and every now and then, you want fresh blood in the title picture. Yet San Diego couldn’t put them away, making decisive mistakes at the most inopportune moments and seeing their so-called elite players (yes, you Shawn Merriman - “Lights Out”, what a joke, this guy was out like a light all game long) disappear in the clutch. So we’re forced to endure another week of Patriots talk on our nation’s sports stations, and worse yet, the AFC title game matchup is N.E. vs. the Indianapolis Colts, two teams who seem to meet in the playoffs nearly every year and Indy being a team the Pats own in the postseason. Thus, a week of the same tired old stories, can Peyton Manning beat Belichick and Brady (gawd, I hope so), can Manning win the big game, is Belichick just the smartest guy in football……makes me wanna beat my TV set with a sledgehammer. I’ll elect for a less destructive route, though. I’ll boycott all SportsCenter broadcasts, all NFL shows on any network and all NFL news online, all in the hopes that I can avoid hearing about the Patriots and how you just can't stop them. Then, maybe the Colts will do all of America a huge favor and beat New England’s a** on Sunday and we can enjoy a Pats-free Super Bowl.


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