- Americans can take comfort in knowing that ours is not the only overly sensitive, ridiculously politically correct nation around. Austria is right there with us, with lawmakers in Vienna banning Santa Claus from visiting kindergarten students. Those officials claim that the sight of a large, bearded man at their classroom door frightens the children, but opponents of the measure claim it’s because of lobbying by the city’s growing Muslim population. I’d object if I were having some random guy dressed in a Santa costume at my kid’s school, but for a different reason. I’d venture to say that a large percentage of those playing Santa at malls, schools, etc., in America are freaks or pedophiles of some sort, because otherwise why would one voluntarily subject themselves to hours of kids sitting on their lap, pulling on their fake beard and throwing temper tantrums? So I take it back, Vienna isn't being too politically correct, they are in fact doing their children a favor.
- It’s almost too easy: authorities bust Snoop Dogg or Willie Nelson on drug/weapons charges. Not long ago, Willie’s tour bus was pulled over and bricks of marijuana were found onboard, along with some ‘shrooms. Now Snoop is picked up by police after appearing on the Tonight Show and charged with being a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, possessing cocaine, transporting marijuana and having a false compartment in his vehicle. Look, I know in football it’s said that officials could call a holding penalty on every play if they really wanted to. Well, law enforcement could bust Snoop and Willie on drug charges every day if they wanted to, safe to say both of them partake in a few illegal substances on a daily basis. So it just seems kinda arbitrary to bust them on some random day when you’re sure they’re guilty every day. What the frak, just let ‘em go, Willie toked up on a tour bus he’s not driving or Snoop getting’ high with his crew seem like less of an issue than a lot of other crimes that go unpunished in this country.
- It’s a shame when a great musical group loses a member and tries to slog onward with a reshuffled lineup that’s never quite as good as the original. So it is with a heavy heart I inform you that The Wiggles, the famed children’s group from Australia, has lost its lead singer, the yellow-shirt-clad Greg Page. A chronic health condition causing dizziness, fatigue and nausea is forcing Page to call it quits. Ironically, dizziness, fatigue and nausea are also feelings induced by anyone over the age of four when they have to listen to any music by The Wiggles. Don’t fear, though, understudy Sam Moran is going to step in for Page and The Wiggles will be just as annoying as ever. Oh, and did I mention these guys are the third wealthiest entertainers in all of Australia last year? People need to start getting their kids hooked on rock n’ roll at a lot earlier age so we can eliminate the need/demand for groups like The Wiggles……
- NBA players don’t like the new basketball the league is forcing them to use this season, nor do they like the league’s crackdown on players complaining to officials about foul calls. That much we knew; players have been b*tching about the ball and the plethora of technical fouls assessed for arguing and have been doing so for months. Now, they’ve filed grievances against the NBA on both counts. Controversy creates cash, I know, I know…….but I think the league might want to reverse field when it comes to the basketball they use. Let the players use the ball they have used for years and are most comfortable with. That much I agree with the players on………but the players need to shut their holes about the technical fouls. Just because you all got used to being able to react like whiny, petulant five year olds every time you didn’t like a foul called on you doesn’t mean you should get to keep doing so. Shut up, stop the histrionics and just play ball, fellas. I know it’s a novel concept, but give it a shot.
- NBC is catching grief from the Bush administration for referring to the Iraq debacle as a civil war. Awesome, W, way to go, ass hat, quivel over semantics and do nothing to address the fact that a multi-billon dollar costing, thousands of casualty causing, no end in sight conflict that we should never have been involved in to begin with rages on. Like it matters how NBC refers to the conflict. What they should be referring to, W, is your absolute incompetence as a leader in this conflict, your lack of planning, foresight, intelligence and capability in planning, initiating and bringing a conclusion to the situation in Iraq. So just keep your mouth shut, because honestly, the term civil war makes it sound like this whole thing is Iraq’s problem and it might actually let you off the hook a bit, not that you deserve it. But don’t worry about peripheral issues like terminology in referring to the war, worry about finding a way to end our involvement in it, k?
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