- Because I am always on the lookout for the crap, drivel and refuse that finds its way into theaters and causes people to pay $8.50 to see it, when a movie weekend rolls around with multiple films that are actually watchable (maybe not great, but watchable), it’s cause for celebration. This would be one of those times, thanks to three movies, two live action dramas, Apocalypto and Blood Diamond, and one an animated sci-fi romp, Renaissance featuring the vocal talents of current 007 Daniel Craig). Set aside Mel Gibson’s drunken, anti-Semitic rant if you will, because Apocalypto, a look at the ancient Mayan civilization set in the action genre, is more than interesting enough to go see. It might rely a little too much on the blood and guts, excess gore crutch, but overall the story of a man straining to escape capture, slavery and separation from his family is a good one. Blood Diamond is the much-hyped Leo DiCaprio film about diamonds illegally mined in South Africa and the political and social atrocities surrounding them, and despite the promotional machine working overtime, the result is a good movie that, even though it is Hollywood slick through and through, may still raise debate on an issue that many people are still extremely ignorant of. The wild card among the three movies is Renaissance, which if your area is anything like mine, is only playing at more artsy, small theaters but could be the best of the trio. It’s set in Paris in 2054, where a researcher at the massive Avalon corporation is kidnapped and a police detective, voiced by Craig, tries to find her with little evidence to go on. The entire movie is in black and white animation, with nevertheless vivid imagery that helps along a good but not stellar storyline. It’s a departure from the norm, though, and worth your time if you were unfortunate enough to get sucked into Borat or Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj and are now looking to evict those images from your movie-going mind.
- The Iraq Study group releases its findings, says the U.S. should be withdrawing from Iraq by early 2008………so of course W isn't going to listen to them. His response to the suggestion was lukewarm at best, although he did re-state the need for a “new strategy.” Great, but if you keep rejecting every new idea that is presented to you, how is a new strategy going to take place? Maybe what you mean is “a new strategy that I totally agree with and one that makes me and what I’ve done in Iraq so far look good,” in which case keep waiting, because that strategy doesn’t exist. W said the group’s studies were “worthy of serious study” and of course, those kinds of glittering generalizations are what make our country’s political process so great, eh? Nothing here to dispel the fear that we’re in for two more years of parsing words and talking
around the issue, at which point a new president will be elected and that person will have the distinct displeasure of cleaning up this mess.
- Who among us hasn’t gotten stuck on a plane near an annoying, loud, overactive small child or baby? Few things ruin a flight faster than one of these tots crawling around, getting in people’s way, spilling things or necessitating trips to the bathroom with their parents at the most inconvenient times. A close relative of this problem is the uber-fat person who spills out from their seat into yours and makes for a most uncomfortable ride. Combine the two and you have, somewhat, the situation that forced itself upon passengers on board a Wednesday flight from Mexico to Chicago. A 42-year-old woman actually gave birth on the plane, and a doctor on board delivered the baby. What a pleasant way to spend a long flight, witnessing that scene and the disturbance it caused. Isn't it recommended that women that close to their due date don’t fly? Of all the travel nightmares to experience, other than a hijacking or crash, that is at the top of my list for things I never, ever want to see in person on a plane.
- Promises from college football coaches are becoming as worthless as campaign promises from politicians. The most recent example is new University of Alabama head coach (and former West Virginia head coach) Rich Rodriguez. Rodriguez, a WVU grad and professed lover of the state and university, apparently loves money more than either of those two things. He spent the early part of this week proclaiming his love for West Virginia, red-necked citizenry and all, then today bolted for a 6-year, $12 million contract to coach at UA. His former players at WVU were pissed, including offensive lineman Dan Moses, who theorized that maybe it was all about the money. Ya think, Danny? No matter how many times a coach promises you anything, especially that he plans to stay at a school forever, assume he is either a) lying, or b) really, really lying. Rodriguez should not have made promises he couldn’t or didn’t intend to keep. Mountaineer fans and players are angry, but they are also naïve if they truly believed Rodriguez would stay there his entire career. I fault him for saying those things, but I also have to fault the fans and players for buying in to them. Enjoy the crazy jack UA is paying you, Rich, and never, ever schedule a road game at West Virginia if you want to come out alive.
- A quick review of the Grammy Award nominations….idiotic. Ok, so that might be a bit too brief. The biggest problems: eight nominations for Mary J. Blige, for starters. Her music has been awful for as long as I can remember, so Frankenstein cross of soul and R&B and hip-hop, complete with boring videos filled with bad dancing. She is apparently attempting to be the black Celine Dion, which would be awful even if you were successful at it. Compounding that egregious error are multiple noms for Justin Timberlake (if he is nominated for album of the year, you can assume one of two things, either a) only four other albums were put out in a year and they needed a fifth to round out the group, or b) the drugs are smoking copious amounts of peyote. Either way, you’ve gotta be kidding me - the guy sound like the fourth Chipmunk on meth, and you think his was one of the year’s best albums? Add to that mess multiple noms for former American Idol Carrie Underwood, including New Artist of the Year. On sound principles alone, any and all former Idol contestants should never be eligible for a Grammy, VMA, etc. And the fourth (but far from last) big time mistake is that the Dixie Chunks, er, Chicks got nominations too. This has nothing to do with their anti-W comments, because I’m with them there. This is about lackluster, snooze inducing country-pop music that no self-respecting music fan should ever be caught dead with in their iPod. Did the voters for the awards look anywhere but the pages of people magazine and the music listings for songs used in popular teen dramas and sitcoms? Otherwise, there is no way to explain a New Artist category that includes nothing but mainstream artists such as James Blunt, Corrine Bailey Rae, Underwood, Chris Brown and Imogen Heap. Now all I need to do is find out when the Grammys will be held so I can be sure not to watch them……
- Stunning news from the baseball world……Barry Bonds has resigned with the Giants. Owner Peter McGowan went on a rant at the end of last season about the team relying too much on Bonds, about how he would not be the centerpiece of the squad next season, then he went out and signed Bonds to a one-year, $16 million contract. Yeah, because guys making more than anyone else on the team, guys chasing the most hallowed record in baseball, guys who cook up their own reality show and have their own plush leather recliner in the locker room next to their locker are never the centerpiece of a team. Not that Bar-roid was going to any other team, but the Giants will be worse off for having him next season and the sooner he breaks Hank Aaron’s record and retires, the better life will be for all baseball fans, teams and players. The only possible solution that could trump that would be a career ending knee or shoulder injury to Bonds this season before he breaks Aaron’s record of 755 home runs, because that type of injury is one happy ending we can all get with.
- As a regular watcher of all four ESPN networks (excluding ESPNU, because next to no one gets or pays attention to it), I’ve come to the conclusion that a three-pronged campaign needs to be waged to rid the airwaves of a trio of ESPN personalities who, for lack of a better term, suck. These three are shtick recycling, cliché spouting, loudmouth ignoramuses who are more tired and played out than anything else on TV. If you watch ESPN at all, you can definitely guess two of these guys: Chris Berman and Stuart Scott. The third, serial T.O.-and-Cowboys apologist and loose cannon Michael Irvin, would be as easily picked out if he’d been on the air as long as the other two. Berman, with his ridiculously stupid, forced nicknames for players, repetitive colliloquisms and a routine that hasn’t been updated or revised in 20 years, may love football and may be enthusiastic about it on air, but his act is older than dirt. Same goes for Scott, who has managed to invent an inane language of his own that goes above and beyond the hip-hop/urban slang into a stratosphere so lame and incomprehensible that most of the time, you just sit there and think, “Huh? What the h*ll did he just say? All I understood was the fifteen times he said ‘Boo-yah’ during that highlight.” Irvin is someone I’ve written on before. His background as a former player doesn’t make him a good commentator, and with his racially insensitive comments about the ethnicity of Tony Romo recently, Irvin continues to show that his only “ability” is to say dumb things and to say them very loudly. As previously stated, it’s my belief that a person’s IQ decreases by five points every time they listen to Irvin talk.
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