- There
aren’t many good reasons to miss your college football team’s New Year’s Day
bowl game. Personal tragedies, serious illness and the possible birth of your
child would make that list; getting picked up by police for trolling for a
hooker would not. That advice would have been helpful to Ohio State senior
defensive tackle Adolphus Washington, whose college career is now over because
he failed to take advantage of the fact that he’s a star player on a top
college football team and therefore needs only to walk into any party any night
of the week, stretch out his massive arms and wait for the groupies to flock to
him. Instead of using his campus celebrity status, Washington elected to
solicit a prostitute late at night and was charged by Columbus police with a
first-degree misdemeanor. He’s slated for a court appearance Dec. 17, but he
need not worry about that disrupting his preparations for the BattleFrog Fiesta
Bowl on Jan. 1. That’s because he has been suspended for the game and as a
senior, he won't play again for the Buckeyes. Head coach Urban Meyer announced
the discipline in light of a violation
of team policy, meaning that Washington won't be a part of preparations for a
big matchup against Notre Dame on New Year’s Day. "I want to sincerely
apologize to my family, to coach Meyer and the coaching staff, to my teammates
and my friends for my lack of judgment last night and for my actions that I
truly regret," Washington said in a statement. "I have wanted to be a
high-character teammate, a contributor to the success of this program and, most
importantly, someone my family can be proud of. I am extremely disappointed in
myself.” Not as disappointed as everyone else is that you’re not smart enough
to realize that there are no less than a dozen girls at EVERY party on your
campus who would totally sleep with you simply because you’re a football
player……….
- It’s
high time fat-ass Santa got himself an image makeover. For too long, the jolly
guy from the North Pole has gotten by being an unintentional representation of
the growing obesity epidemic plaguing these here United States and adjoining
nations, but at least on mall St. Nick is doing what he can to change that
trend. Enter the so-called Fashion Santa, whose presence at a Toronto mall has
garnered national attention. Paul Mason, the man portraying Fashion Santa, has
been a male model for more than 30 years, but it wasn’t until 2013 that he
stumbled upon the idea of making Santa a hipper, more fit version of his usual
portly self. "It just dawned on me. (The beard) kind of looked like Santa
Claus but not the original Santa Claus, with a little bit of a fashion
twist," Mason explained. He rocks designer red velvet and leather jackets, a
black belt and boots. "I am wearing a velvet jacket, it's Ferragamo, but I
am wearing a velvet jacket," he added. Mason holds down Santa duties at Yorkdale
Shopping Centre and his modern twist on a classic has drawn attention from
across Canada, the U.S., Germany, France and the United Kingdom. He’s been
featured in various national magazines and on a slew of television shows, many
of which have taken note not only of his stylish wardrobe, but of his good
looks as well. Growing a beard back in 2013 helped spur the idea, but he’s not
your average mall Santa. Some still tell him what they want for Christmas and shoppers
are encouraged to snap selfies with Mason, but there is no creepy lap-sitting
involved. Instead, the mall donates $1 for every Fashion Santa Selfie posted on
social media to the SickKids Foundation, a charity for Toronto's Hospital for
Sick Children……..
- How
long has the world been saying, “Dammit, it’s high time that someone turn a
cocaine-fueled 1993 black comedy into a live-reading event in the City of
Angels? At long last, those non-existent calls for cinematic justice have been
answered as Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette are to reprise their
roles from “True Romance” at a
one-off live read event in Los Angeles next week. In the original, coke-addled 1993 flick, Slater and Arquette starred as lovers on the run in a
project penned by Quentin Tarantino and
directed by the late Tony Scott. However, it’s director Jason Reitman (“Juno”) who is organizing the live
read event and according to Reitman, both actors agreed to take part provided
that the other was involved. As to why he felt the need to put together
something that wasn’t exactly in high demand, he explained that a certain
eccentric director loathed by law enforcement around the United States of late
was the true motivating factor. "Tarantino was
the first punk rock filmmaker of my generation, and True Romance is a film that hit me at the right time when I was
thinking about becoming a filmmaker myself,” Reitman said. “This will be the
third of Quentin's scripts we've done. We did ‘Reservoir Dogs’ and ‘Pulp
Fiction’ and he did his own reading of The Hateful Eight as part of the series." The live
read for “True Romance” will take place at Los
Angeles' Ace Hotel and it will undoubtedly be well-attended by all manner of
über-film nerds and cooler-than-thou SoCal hipsters who want to be seen
appreciating a movie they clearly feel doesn’t receive nearly enough credit as
one of Tarantino’s early works of near-genius………
- Unsavory
doesn’t even begin to describe the alleged actions of New York City-area Rev. Peter Miqueli. According to parishioners currently
suing the Catholic priest, Miqueli pilfered collection-plate donations to pay
for drug-fueled sex romps with a heavily muscled S&M professional with whom
he did wholly unspeakable things that no amount of confession are going to
cleanse from the soul. The lawsuit alleges that the priest has stolen at least
$1 million since 2003 while leading churches on Roosevelt Island and in the
Bronx, all to bank roll all manner of deviant fantasies as a sexual slave at as
much as $1,000 a pop for bondage-and-discipline sessions in which alleged
S&M practitioner Keith Crist would do such revolting things as “ force
Father Miqueli to drink Keith Crist’s urine.” But wait, there’s more. The suit
also claims that the misguided man of the cloth spent $60,000 in 2012 alone for
“illicit and prescription drugs” he used with Crist, bought a $264,000 home in
Brick, N.J. and paid $1,075.50 a month for Crist’s East Harlem apartment. This
entertaining/sickening lawsuit was filed in Manhattan Supreme Court and goes so
far as to allege that the Archdiocese of New York and Timothy Cardinal Dolan
knew about Miqueli’s “illegal scheme” and did nothing to keep it from becoming
“the monster it is today.” On the upside, at least the Catholic church has
itself a sex scandal that involves two consenting adults instead of a creepy,
lecherous priest preying upon an innocent child who then has the rest of his or
her life ruined. It’s all about #progress, eh Catholics……….
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